Asklemmy

i've understood that coed bathrooms have existed in various places in the country long before republicans decided they were going to create a campaign against transgender people using restrooms. Grow up. Everyone poops!

You should have said “How is that not a solid enough answer?”

What should I have said?

"Wow, sadly I think it means that person has some serious mental issues, and we should get them some help.

Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to call someone for you?"

What should I have said?

"You think about strange men's genitals a lot, don't you?"

The argument made by the person asking that question is not based on any realistic fear they have actually thought through. On the big list of gendered violence, a cis dude saying they are trans to accomplish... being present in a bathroom without themselves getting harrassed... doesn't even register.

Instead, this is just a typical attempt to punch down based on an imagined danger, usually on someone else's behalf. There's nothing an oppressor likes more than a piece of illogic that frames their target of oppression as, sneakily, the real oppressor. In this case, it is trans people wanting bathroom access without having to out themselves or to otherwise just not contradict their gender. Gender neutral bathrooms would also be acceptable, or even better, but cis people have insisted on gendered bathrooms. Rather than say, "yeah trans people shouldn't have to put up with that cis bathroom bullshit", reactionaries try to come up with ways to reframe the ask as its own form of oppression. This is also the mainstay of TERFs, basically just cis women that pretend trans women are oppressing them by wanting basic equal consideration.

Depending on who this person is, you may want to try various tactics. If you think you can be flippant and dismissive of them, definitely do that preferentiallu. Make them feel like they are being ridiculous and that if they really care about violence against women they should work on guaranteeing housing for all and hate cops. If you can't be flippant, I recommend still not taking it seriously but just changing the subject to the actual act of oppression and telling them more or less what I said in previous paragraphs. All of this assumes this us a person whose mind you want to change, like that of a friend or family member. If it is a colleague, start documenting their transphobuc comments and see if anyone else has your concerns, get their documentation as well. If it is just some rando, just tell them to shut the fuck up with bad faith transphobia and move on.

Its an ancient argument and your answer is correct.

There is no cock check at restroom doors anyone can enter.

"Trans people aren't super-sayajins so existing assault laws are probably fine"

The time for debating conservatives was over a decade ago. The time for debate is over. Now is the time to dethrone them. Marginalize hate by marginalizing the haters.

We're assuming that you're talking to someone who's willing to have a discussion in good faith.

You'd first need to know why that isn't a sufficiently solid answer. Are they looking for a perfect solution? Because I'm pretty sure there isn't one. What we want is an improvement over the status quo, and sometimes an overall improvement necessitates a worse experience in certain areas.

Is there a magical barrier that keeps men who don't say they're trans from entering women's bathrooms?

Nothing, they're not genuinely interested in a discussion. They're just trying to pin you with a bad answer and will keep moving the goal post until they think they gotcha.

What public bathroom has dedicated security gaurds? Theres nothing stopping a man from just walking in without having to make stuff up. If someone is acting inappropriate in a public restroom then why does it matter whats in their pants? Gay/lesbian perverts exist too!

Nothing.

Nothing is good enough. Gendered bathrooms are about repression. That's why they are so mad about non-gendered toilets that are popping up.

I don't get why we have different bathrooms at this point. Its more efficient to just have them all be family bathrooms with floor to ceiling stalls.

Why are conservatives so worried about hypothetical scenarios involving gendering re: restrooms?

It's come up exactly zero times ever in my entire lifespan, and I'm in my mid 40s now and have been in hundreds, if not thousands, of public restrooms.

"Counter question: What stops a creep from doing that even if there was an anti trans law?"

You made a mistake.

You engaged with someone that wasn't asking in good faith. The idea itself is so stupid that snagging engaging with it isn't worth the time and effort.

The only useful response to that question is "are you really that stupid, or do you think I am?"

"in your biased example the fact that the person is trans isn't relevant to anything...what's your point?"

That's a false dichotomy. Perverts of any gender and inclination can do harmful stuff anywhere. In an idealistic world, a bathroom shouldn't have to be gendered, because all that you're doing is relieving yourself - I mean, look at your own homes first. Putting the gender-neutral stuff aside, this isn't about trans-women, this is about men who are perverts. Even if things such as cross-dressing, gender-changing surgeries or trans-women were non-existent/erased in a hypothetical world, these perverts will find other ways to violate or harass women.