this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023

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Thousands of people are reportedly lining up to have a portion of their skull removed and one of Elon Musk's brain chips implanted (www.businessinsider.com)

submitted 10 months ago by ICastFist@programming.dev to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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Earlier this year, the US Food and Drug Administration gave Neuralink, which Musk cofounded in 2016, approval to launch human trials of its device that Musk has described as a "Fitbit in your skull." The FDA had previously rejected Neuralink's bid for human testing in March over safety concerns, Reuters reported, including that the wires connected to the brain chip could move within a subject's head or that the chip could overheat.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 80 points 10 months ago (5 children)

What the fuck is wrong with people?

[–] snorkbubs@fedia.io 90 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (8 children)

Neuralink said in a blog post that it was looking for people who had paralysis in all four limbs because of a spinal-cord injury or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

Not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, these people are willing to take a risk in order to overcome difficult conditions, and that should be allowed. On the other hand, it feels like Neuralink is preying on their hopes.

If the company figurehead wasn't a libertarian billionaire edgelord, I might look past that second hand. No chance of that, though. He's going to kill people, and then he's going to retweet memes about it.

[–] Caradoc879@lemmy.world 35 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Wasn't there a report about dozens of dead monkeys from animal trials a few months ago?

[–] wildginger@lemmy.myserv.one 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I dont think they reached dozens, but yes this is the same project that had dead monkey headlines rolling around

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not just dead, lot's of suffering beforehand. Those were some nauseating stories.

[–] geophysicist@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I've read a lot of disturbing stuff on the internet but those descriptions of what the monkeys endured made me feel really uncomfortable

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[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I saw that movie, it's called "Upgrade"

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[–] grue@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I admit, under the right circumstances, cybernetic enhancements could be cool.

Anything connected in any way with Elon Musk is emphatically not the right circumstances, of course.

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[–] Rottcodd@lemmy.ninja 18 points 10 months ago (2 children)

We're dumb animals, not much different from other dumb animals.

If squirrels had news media, they could have a story that says, "Thousands of squirrels are lining up to try to cross busy streets in front of cars."

And some number of squirrels would read that and think, "What the hell is wrong with them?"

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago

At least crossing the street gives them a chance of getting to the acorns. This achieves nothing.

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[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 10 months ago

I mean, if I couldn't communicate with the outside world or have use of my limbs I would take any risk to regain that functionality. This could have a real shot of giving people with terrible conditions a better quality of life.

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[–] DigitalFrank@lemmy.world 59 points 10 months ago (2 children)

"Think about how dumb the average person is. Now, realize that half of them are dumber than that."

- George Carlin

[–] Taringano@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago

*the median person

[–] shartworx@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago

I don't think there's a better response than this.

[–] Fades@lemmy.world 57 points 10 months ago (3 children)

As I said in another thread about nLink:

Anyone getting this shit will die just like every single fucking monkey test subject. If they don’t die, their suffering will be unbearable

https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-pcrm-neuralink-monkey-deaths/

Go on Elon, show us how it’s done and take the first one

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Dad got his brain chip in 2010. Worked great. Had nothing to do with neuralink. They've been doing these implants safely for at least that long. The fact that musk can't keep monkeys alive says a lot about the fact that neuralink isn't ready.

[–] Fades@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That’s fascinating, could you share a manufacturer name? I’d love to look into what kind of brain chips are out there that aren’t from phony stark

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[–] snek@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Come on Jeffrey, you can do it

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[–] MeanEYE@lemmy.world 30 points 10 months ago

This is like self-solving problem then?

[–] Lyrac@programming.dev 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

tf is my skull gonna do with a fitbit?

[–] Ogeon@programming.dev 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's useful for keeping track of your mental gymnastics.

[–] Lyrac@programming.dev 10 points 10 months ago

Brilliant. Purchasing now.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago (3 children)

This timeline sucks.

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[–] MuuuaadDib@lemm.ee 23 points 10 months ago

I would guess, and this is completely a guess, these are Elon fans who think that the vaccines were dangerous and had microchips in them.

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Everyone needs to read about the poor monkeys in these trials.

Horrific.

[–] gazter@aussie.zone 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm happy they've moved on from testing on unwilling monkeys, to willing humans.

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[–] Riccosuave@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago

[–] xkforce@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago

It does not surprise me that muskrats would sign up for this. Theyre basically brainwashed anyway so a chip wouldnt really change much.

[–] Nougat@kbin.social 20 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm sure Musk won't randomly disable any features remotely.

[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

Yeah. Or at least only the ones that use microservices. So... No worries...?

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[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

natural selection is back baby

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[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 17 points 10 months ago

We... at least I learnt about this in school. Its called natural selection.

[–] snek@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Musk makes it sound like he is the only person with a company investing in this, even though.

One example is Synchron that already beat him to human trials two years ago

[–] weeahnn@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Hooo boii. I just cannot wait till we can't sleep because Muskrat keeps appearing in our dreams, trying to convince us that he is a cool memer.

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[–] Starkstruck@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Ah, natural selection. I don't wish death upon any of these people, but I certainly won't be surprised when they start dropping like flies (or the countless monkeys in the trials).

[–] Gigan@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

No way in hell would I do that. I can't think of a worse technology to be an earlier adopter on.

[–] oDDmON@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Welcome, to the latest episode of Evolution In Action!

Today’s contestants will attempt to survive having foreign objects inserted into their braincases!

But first, a word from our sponsors.

[–] KroninJ@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

I'd be in line myself of it wasn't for a few key things.

Successful trials

Elon's history on fucking with shit for his own entertainment and/or personal gain

You know this will be connected to the internet to work

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[–] ProfessorScience@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I need one of these chips like I need a hole in my... oh.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Eh, someday we're going to have safe, powerful cybernetic implants and it'll be because some people were willing to be test subjects. I'm not willing to be a test subject myself but I'm glad that other people are.

[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

With the way corporations are behaving with our electronic devices, I wouldn't trust any of them with my body.

[–] meathorse@lemm.ee 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"Before you enjoy your mid-afternoon nap, a word from several of our sponsors. Please close your eyes for optimal viewing experience"

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[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 6 points 10 months ago

We already have what classifies as "cybernetic implants": pacemakers, brain implants to combat parkinson's disease, etc.

We need medical technology to advance. What we don't need is a bird brain (no offense to birds) touting a technology that will bring a solution for a problem that does not exist.

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[–] sirdorius@programming.dev 8 points 10 months ago

I can see 2024 headlines: "Neuralink test subjects try to crash into pedestrians or blow up before reaching space. Workers implanted the wrong chips due to time pressure from the CEO"

[–] Candelestine@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This link from the middle of the article was better than the article:

https://www.businessinsider.com/synchron-beats-elon-musk-neuralink-us-human-trials-brain-implant-2022-7?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=topbar

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Synchron has already implanted the device in four patients in Australia who have been able to use the brain implant to send messages on WhatsApp and shop online.

Ahh, consumerism at its finest.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

AKA thousands of people are so terminally stupid that even such an implant cannot cause any damage to already f-uped brain remains.

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