Not The Onion

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Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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HOUSTON — A Houston man is suing Whataburger for nearly $1 million after he says his burger had onions on it.

Turns out he had asked for a no-onions order.

On July 24, 2024, Demery Ardell Wilson had an allergic reaction after eating a burger that had onions on it at Whataburger, court documents say. He alleges that he requested the fast-food chain to take them off before serving him the burger.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/29935779

Who's a pussy-wussy snowflake? Yes you, yes you are..

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/26082031

The house style of the New York Times is severely outdated. Depending on the topic, the newspaper’s purportedly impartial tone instead reads as smug, self-amused, and deeply lazy. The results are disastrous when applied to a recent article which sincerely considers the idea that Rachel Griffin-Accurso, the popular children’s entertainer known as Ms. Rachel, might […]

Archived version without paywall: https://archive.is/yE3mF

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/38745122

An accused serial killer who was executed for murder in Florida on Thursday used his final words to express support for President Trump after offering comfort to his family and his victims’ families.

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cross-posted from: https://ponder.cat/post/2881339

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/29711221

The Boeing 747-8 being offered to Donald Trump by Qatar once served the Qatari royal family and has been sitting unsold for years.

The jet, a lavishly configured version of Boeing's largest passenger aircraft, has been lingering without a buyer since being put up for sale in 2020, according to aircraft listings and aviation analysts.

John Goglia, a former member of the National Transportation Safety Board, told Forbes that giving the 747-8 to the U.S. would allow the Qataris to avoid maintenance costs that were only getting higher—with the 747 fleet shrinking worldwide and fewer mechanics available who know how to work on them.

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cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/64140227

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President Donald Trump is backing off a plan to rename the Persian Gulf the Gulf of Arabia after backlash from Iranian officials, according to a report by CNN.

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🤦

Republican lawmakers in Texas have once again introduced a bill that tries to shove fetal personhood into carpool lane regulations. This time, however, the bill passed the House after an amendment from Democrats to include all mothers, whether their children are in the car or not. The dangerous proposal that could further entrench the idea of personhood into state law now goes to the Senate for consideration.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/29497168

If you had to pick just one place to take the temperature of relations between the U.S. and Canada right now, consider The Rubber Duck Museum in Point Roberts, Wash.

The museum is located in a small U.S. town attached to Canada, not the U.S. mainland. The only way to drive to the town, which is at the end of a peninsula, is to go through Canada. This unique location makes the town of about 1,200 people dependent upon its northern neighbor for nearly everything, including customers looking to add to their rubber duck collections.

Since Trump launched tariff wars on countries, including Canada and China, and began insisting Canada will be the 51st state, far fewer Canadian visitors have flocked to this U.S. outpost. After months of dismal sales, and now looking at 145% tariffs on goods from China, the Kings say they are packing up the ducks and moving them across the border into Canada.

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