this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 120 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Based on that photo I expected the woman lessons to be "fight, bleed, groan" too.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 61 points 3 months ago

They already know how to do those things, right boys!?

I'm sorry

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

I was ready for the second half. I was disappoint.

[–] loomi@lemmy.world 61 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I fight bleed and groan monthly 🤷‍♀️

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 49 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

that's why you don't need to be taught those things. you need lessons on long hair and pink

[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Women, smh. Do we have to explain everything‽

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I fight, bleed and groan every time I go to the toilet.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 54 points 3 months ago

That phone # is for a Denny's in LA too.

"Hi, can you teach my daughter to long hair?"

"Sir, this is a Denny's."

[–] WeeSheep@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Why do men need to learn to groan? Are they giving birth?

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 39 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)
[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Never have I heard someone quite as well capture the appropriate sound to make when you've achieved "yeah sex is great but have ya..." for gushing over all the specs that make something you're showing off so awesome.

It works for cars, it works for stereo systems, it works for a new smoothie blender, it even works for the wildly unhealthy recipe you invented that's dripping the most decadent yet delicious shit you could cram into it before serving it to your friends like you make Gordon Ramsey look like a Killer Cook.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Maybe, but have you ever heard anyone else do it? Would YOU do it? If you heard a friend excitedly Tim Allen grunt, would you ever really look at them the same?

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[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

Sounds like something someone who doesn’t know how to PINK would ask…

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 41 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I'm a man, and I'd like to learn how to pink.

[–] meleethecat@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago

I blue myself!

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Blue used to be for girls as it was seen as more “dainty,” while pink used to be associated with boys as it was seen as the stronger color. It didn't change until the 1950s when some big advertising campaigns pushed pink as a feminine color exclusively for girls.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Red was the manly color, it was seen as regal. So light red (pink) was the color of the boys. Blue was the color of the virgin Mary and light blue used for femal children.

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[–] PixellatedDave@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah pink was man's colour because it is the colour of just cooked steak.

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[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

You are in luck. Pink was a verb before it was a color.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

It's super easy, you just use pinking shears!

[–] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 months ago

Take off your skin.

[–] pelletbucket@lemm.ee 38 points 3 months ago (3 children)

feels like something the boys from Always Sunny posted

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

"It's a bicep!"

[–] herrvogel@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

He teaches to groan. NOTHING SEXUAL.

[–] sudoroot@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 months ago

Needs more veins

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Man I should offer lessons on adulting. Lesson 1, nobody is doing it well, everyone is faking. Lesson 2, we're all jealous that you're still a child, milk that shit. Lesson 3, stop listening to old man complain, go have fun.

I think that's worth a hundred dollars right?

[–] Venator@lemmy.nz 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I think that's called a "life coach".

[–] Kaboom@reddthat.com 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Throw in stuff like how to pay taxes, change a flat tire, and what an APR is, and you have a good class going

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Oh if we have to go over taxes then I'm going to have to charge another 100, maybe as an extra day kind of thing? A real life DLC?

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[–] Freefall@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago

Jokes on us, they are just scamming MAGAs for 1000s a session

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

This seems like a trap of some sort and people in general shouldn't be left alone with either of them individually or at the same time.

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Yeah, If I had kids, I would keep them as far away as possible from these people.

I'm no doctor, but that man is absolutely experiencing some kind of steroid-induced mania.

Otherwise, if it's not real, it's an excellent shitpost.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Someone reported that the number is for an L.A.'s Denny's. As if the "pink" wasn't a flag that it was a joke.

[–] aniki@lemmings.world 17 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Can that dude BE on any more steroids?

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

Yes, yes, there's always room for max growth. If he really juices it up and eats a couple cows per day, he can get to that next level. Beefcaaaaaake!

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 months ago

I for one support him on his gender affirming medical procedures.

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 months ago

Not without his heart exploding

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

As long as they don't offer to teach poster design...

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Whats funny to me is people who want for their kids something they see inadequate in themselves. Like obviously as a man you can't teach your kids to be a man then you must not know how.......

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I kinda feel like that's the entirety of good parenting. Some things have higher or lower priorities, but ideally, I want my children to be more competent than me in everything I know how to do and more.

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[–] halvar@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)
[–] crusa187@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)
[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago

Sounds like you could use some lessons

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Lmao they don’t know how to pink…

[–] halvar@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago
[–] Rayspekt@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago
[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

I'd like to know what happens if someone signs onto both lessons.

I have a feeling they wouldn't appreciate it.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Offer expires... now.

[–] kratoz29@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

Is this Jhony Lawrence pamphlet?

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