Asklemmy

Potentially adopting a cat. He put his head in my mouth at the shelter. I was sold.

This one is wierd. I like him. And, There's no way this one is surviving without human intervention.

He lives with us. He's a good boy.

My cat brings me leaves and pine cones that he's "killed". He's always extremely pleased with himself.

Every day he escapes to the school next to my house and now the dog is part in the teaching staff photos every year.

I caught him once trying to open the back door by standing on his hind legs and pulling down on the door handle.

The first cat I had (as a teen on my own) was the most amazing character. We used to go on walks to a corner store and she'd patiently wait for me while I shopped.

One day on our walk back from the store I saw her stop in her tracks, and then she was gone. I looked ahead and saw that some friends had decided to visit ... and they had brought their dogs.

Psycho wasn't your typical female cat. She was territorial as hell and protected her turf with a ferocity of a lion.

By the time I got to the house she had managed to terrorize the hell out of those three dogs, then wrap herself around the muzzle of one while biting his nose. That poor dog was screaming and swinging his head back and forth trying to shake Psycho off ... to no avail.

I was finally able to pry her off and she promptly ran through the old milk chute to hide in the basement. My friends decided the best thing to do was take their dogs home to nurse their small wounds.

Needless to say the dogs never visited again.

One time I got ready to head for grad school just like any other day and right before and I realized I forgot to close my shirt drawer and was like huh, I've never forgotten that before. Nine or ten hours later I get back home and Buddy has not come out to greet me, instead I see our other cat Oceanborn, who is quite antisocial. I walk into the bedroom and Oceanborn paces in front of the dresser meowing and my heart sank into my stomach when I realized what I had done. For just a moment I felt so awful but opening that drawer just to see him do an enormous yawn and then a stretch and then jump out all happy, there's something to be said for moments of terror for someone's well-being that instantly turn to pure comedy when you realize they're fine.

Black cat snuggled up in my black shirts. Later that evening I saw him use his paw to open the dresser drawer and hop in again, so it turns out he had just taught himself a new trick without having the decency to inform me about it.

My cat gets his claws stuck in things.

No, they're not overgrown. Hes able to fully retract them out of the way. He just. Doesn't.

Not once, ever, have I seen him relax his leg and calmly lift the paw off to unstick the claws. Instead he only ever pulls harder and more violently, which makes retraction impossible due to how the force pulls on the claws. He will struggle more and more fervently until whatever thread, carpet or rope he is stuck in, is the thing that gives.

If he's really stuck, I sometimes help him by pulling on the stuck limb to give the claws enough slack to come unstuck. This has not led him get the hint.

One of our dogs turns off the Roomba by thwacking the button with her paw. It took awhile to catch her in the act.

I was at a dinner party with my shepherd-mix. While we humans sat at the table, he strolled around, went to the kitchen and found a small, delicious smelling trashcan. It had cooked chicken bones in it, not good for dogs. Unable to open it on his own, luckily, he grabbed the whole trashcan and brought it to me to open for him. Everyone was laughing. He was sad though that I did not help him get what he wanted but I was a little bit proud of him.

He was a great dog and lived to be 16. Rest in peace, buddy.

My previous cat Harry had shockingly good English comprehension skills. As I was walking out to the car to go get some fried chicken, Harry was milling around near the front door. Fried chicken was his favorite food. I said to him, "Harry, I'm gonna go get some chicken. If you're here when I get back I'll give you some." He sat his fluffy ass down on the spot and when I got back there he sat.

Another day he was on the far side of the yard. I stuck my head out the door and said "Harry, come here." And he stood up and started ambling in my direction. I said "Come here quicker." And he broke into a trot.

My cat got an unexpected chilli experience. I was cooking curry, and chopping up a bunch of peppers, and went back to my computer momentarily to double check something in the recipe. Cat hopped up on to my lap and, when I wasn't looking, licked my fingers. Poor wee guy had no idea what was happening to him and scarpered for the bathroom sink, where he yelled at me to please come turn the tap on

(I know chilli oil is quite bad for cats; he was okay after this brief but very unpleasant experience)

When my beagle was a baby she would stand in front of the couch, under the coffee table, stare at the couch, crouch, line up her shot, jump up and bang her head on the coffee table. She did this often enough to earn her the title Silly Bonks. Her full name is Princess Fancy Pants 'Silly Bonks' of House Cuddlepup.

I also recently taught her to stand up on her hind legs and spin around. Sometimes she jumps up and spins so aggressively she falls over.

She will run as hard and fast as she can on wet grass at the park and fall and just roll like three or four times, I'm not sure if shes slipping or doing it on purpose.

She learned if she stands on the couch she can reach out and put her front paws on the doorknob to look out the window in the front door. She had a couple good tumbles before she figured out how to properly dismount that one.

My cat loves sleeping with his face pressed inside my armpit or as close as possible in the bend of my arm. Sometimes, he can't breathe that well, so he does the swimmer's thing where he pulls up his head, takes a deep breath, and then goes back in 😂

We adopted a yellow-headed amazon (parrot) in his 40s. For months he was shy and kept to himself.

One day, seemingly out of the blue, he began whistling songs, cat-calling, saying his name, asking for a cracker, etc. He had like an entire repertoire!

Most unexpected, funniest thing that's happened with any of our pets.

Close second is a cat that would play fetch, like a dog!

My first cat started his life living with my friend in her flat. Her kitchen was long with a very slippery floor. The cat would stand by the kitchen door with a toy at his feet, begging someone to throw it into the kitchen for him. He'd run, jump into the kitchen, skid along the floor, grab the toy on his way past and turn around at the end of the skid so he could run back to you with it to throw it again.

I had a large bag on the footrest in my living room. My current overlord jumped into the bag which immediately slid off the footrest and onto the floor upside down. He attacked me for the next few minutes when I tried to move it.

I was petsitting for friends on vacation who had just adopted kittens. I went to the bathroom to pee, and while I was peeing one kitten jumped onto the rim of the toilet bowl and slipped and fell in. It took a second or so to stop the stream and get kitty out of there, and then I had to gently wash him in the bathtub.

I was cracking up so hard, but felt so bad for the kitten.

Used to have a dog that LOVED opening Christmas presents. The weird part was there could be several presents, all wrapped, and she would always immediately grab the one that had her name on it.

Dog ate 24 cup cakes that were cooling on the counter, and 23 cup cake wrappers.

My cat has a new obsession: sticking his head out of the cat flap, seeing that it's raining, staying still, coming back in, meowing at me like "Daaad, it's raining" and starting the cycle again.

My cat does this, except he goes all the way out, stands under the one leaky bit of the guttering 3 stories up, comes in soaked, yells until you dry him off and repeats. It's gotten to the point we just lock him in if it's raining. That way he yells about being imprisoned for a few minutes then goes and has a nap until the next meal time.

My 2yo cat likes to lay on the carpet and pull herself along instead of walk

The little shadow tiger has decided she does not like the cold tile floor in the kitchen on her little paw pads in the mornings. So she does this little hoppy move sideways into almost a gallop before the hind legs get into as much of a hurry as the front and nearly send her rolling out of the kitchen into the safe carpet of the living room

My new angel, a 2 year old female 6 pound spayed chihuahua, humps her toys like she owes them money. I guess I’m just glad she’s getting extra cardio. Still awkward AF when we lock eyes.

We have two doors that go into the garden, one in the dining room one in the kitchen, if we let our rescue Collie out of one she will wait by the other to be let in. Collies are smart, ours is defective.

I let my cat Té (tea in spanish) smell a teabag once, since he always sat by me when i brewed them. He stared at it for a few seconds then punched the shit out of it, spilled it's herbs all over the floor then ran away with the now empty teabag on his mouth, as if it were a toy. There's probably some deep symbolism to be made here or something.

My dog had to wear the cone of shame once. He got his face stuck to the fridge door for 10 minutes. Had to work out some other solution lol

My cat never jumped on furniture, even when I tried to coax her with wet food and treats. She just wouldn't. I even took her to the vet to check on her back legs. She just doesn't want to get on the furniture, and that never changed.

Except for one incident two years later. I was doing food prep for the week, and she jumped on the counter, walked up and stepped in my avocado. Still no idea what prompted it.

My dog used to ask me to lock him inside the bathroom to eat so my other dog wouldn't steal his food.

He liked taking his time.

“It was raining in the garden. Mog thought, ‘Perhaps the sun is shining in the street’. When the milkman came she ran out. The milkman shut the door. The sun was not shining in the street after all. It was raining. “