this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net 61 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Depends on the exact composition but most lavas are going to be way more viscous than honey.

[–] kn33@lemmy.world 44 points 2 weeks ago

Does "very thick" mean nothing to you?

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] flora_explora@beehaw.org 2 points 1 week ago

Ohh, wow, you solved a long-standing mystery to me! I've been listening to a lot of discworld novels and could not figure out what "treacle mine road" was supposed to translate to. Now that I know the spelling I could finally look it up. Thanks! ❤️

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[–] BrazenSigilos@ttrpg.network 44 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

You can eat anything once. If your brave enough.

[–] De_Narm@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

When does something count as being eaten - once you swallow it? I don't think you'd succeed at that with lava.

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You'd be able to taste it which I think would fulfill the requirements of knowing its texture.

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

People who eat the Carolina reaper prove that this is both not a deterrent, and may in fact be the point. On the other hand I've never heard any of them talk about the texture afterward. So maybe the burning is too distracting.

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[–] TheFogan@programming.dev 3 points 2 weeks ago

pretty sure the taste buds die before they can send their report to the brain.

[–] NeatoBuilds@mander.xyz 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Just shove an insulated hose through your esophagus and out your bunhole and pass lava through it

[–] SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

Silicon coated fiberglass should work. Just make sure the cuts are clean or you’re gonna get itchy.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 19 points 2 weeks ago

In fact, lava is so nutritious it will fill you up for the rest of your life!

[–] Gadwin100@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've had it in cake form. Pretty good.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I choose to believe you're taking about having pica, not eating a molten chocolate cake.

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[–] toiletobserver@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The viscosity of most lava is about that of ketchup, roughly 10,000 to 100,000 times that of water

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lava#%3A%7E%3Atext=The+viscosity+of+most+lava%2C100%2C000+times+that+of+water.

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 47 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

Alright so I got curious. For the non people-who-know-what-viscosity-is-measured-in people out there, viscosity is measured in centipoise, which is 1/100 poise. Water is 1 centipoise, hence why we use centipoise over poise. Don't ask me any more than that because I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Lava is anywhere between 10,000 - 1,000,000 cP. According to this chart, there are many edible things that fall within that viscosity. Now lava is very hot, so if we're going to simulate the experience of eating lava in a safe way with edible ingredients, we need something that is that viscous at high temperatures. This page (PDF warning) says that 140f (60c) is the highest temp food can be without burning you immediately.

There isn't much on the above chart that is both edible and has its viscosity measured around those temps. The most promising one was chocolate, which is about 25,000 cP. But it doesn't have a temperature listed. According to lived experience and my ass, melted chocolate has a pretty consistent viscosity at various temperatures, making it a suitable stand in for molten lava.

However, viscosity isn't the end all be all of a lava eating experience. Lava is rocks and rocks are dense. Lava also looks like it would be sticky. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything on the chart that matches the density of lava that is still edible (2600-2800 kg/m^3 for those who were curious). And there is also no unit of measurement for stickiness. But google tells me that some lava is sticky like peanut butter. So our edible lava needs to be considerably dense (thus, chewy) and sticky.

With these things in mind (viscosity, chewiness, and stickiness), I think the best edible stand ins for molten lava would be hot peanut butter (250,000 cP), with honorable mentions being rice pudding (10,000 cP @100C), and hot toothpaste (70,000 cP @40C). Color them bright orange and maybe throw in some Carolina reaper for authenticity and baby you've got some edible lava going

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

hot orange toothpaste with carolina reaper? michelin star

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

mount stHelens star

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[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

That seems suspiciously low viscosity. When we see lava running down a volcano it's already cooling down, and is much more viscous. I think that's the image OP has in mind when thinking of honey. Lava with the viscosity of warm chocolate would be lava fresh out of a volcano.

[–] i_love_FFT@jlai.lu 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If we use hot peppers to stimulate the nerve endings sensitive to "hot", then we can probably cool down the chocolate such that it has the desired viscosity.

Melted hot pepper chocolate with orange coloring, that would sell!

[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

Yes I would like two please

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

well check how many things on that list are 1M cP

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 2 weeks ago

Delicious comment

[–] yetiftw@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

now is that kinematic or dynamic viscosity?

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago

Idk. I'm an EMT with two semesters of community college under my belt lol. I was just googling and correlating things that I have no practical knowledge of

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And it’s quite heavy, being rock and all. So imagine very weighty honey.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Yeah. You know all those is movies and stuff where people sink in lava?

Nope. It's too dense. You'd be so buoyant you'd just stay on top.

[–] Geobloke@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

Who you calling buoyant?

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[–] hihi24522@lemm.ee 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ice is a mineral. Thus, water is lava. Hence, you eat lava every day, and it is not the texture of thick honey. QED.

[–] GiveMemes@jlai.lu 7 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Gate to be the party pooper but lava is specifically molten rock, and rock is a mixture of multiple minerals. As single mineral is not rock. (As far as a quick Google is verifying, open to correction by an expert)

[–] hihi24522@lemm.ee 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Does Hank Green count?

Furthermore, by your definition of rock, basically all crystals are not rocks. Quartz is a single mineral. It is also considered a rock. As are all other gemstones which are a single mineral. If you think impurities count then again water counts because it has minerals like fluoride and carbonate and halite (salt) in it.

Now one could make the argument that lava is specifically molten rock extruded from beneath the surface of a terrestrial planetary body to its surface. In which case, water on earth doesn’t typically fit that description unless it’s like melted permafrost that melted before getting drawn to the surface or something.

However, on a very cold terrestrial planetary body which was comprised partly of ice, thermal vents / volcanoes would produce water and it would fit the definition of lava. Water is certainly lava in that context.

Considering that physics is assumed consistent across the universe, water viscosity would have the same range regardless of where in the universe it was. Ergo, the water you drink may not be earth lava but it is the exact same viscosity as the water that is lava.

So you still know what the mouthfeel of lava is even if you’ve never ingested any “real” lava.

Sidenote, if you really do want to figure out how silicate lava feels, you could probably find the dynamic viscosity of a certain lava flow and then create caramel under the right conditions to get approximately the same viscosity. Eating butter and sugar might not be healthy but it definitely is less immediately damaging than pouring 700°C fluids into your mouth.

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[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Saltwater it is!

[–] Ashen44@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago

Conclusion: mineral water is lava

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I imagine it tastes like sand but spicy

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[–] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Lava is rocks. Liquid rocks is still rocks.

[–] offspec@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

Yeah but salt is rocks and that stuff is delicious

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

Yeah, but since it's a liquid it doesn't have the texture of solid rock.

[–] Ultrathor@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It most definitely has a satisfying snap when you break the surface tension of a nice steamy blob. Maybe similar to a warm Mozzarella.

[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 3 points 2 weeks ago

New headcanon is lava has the consistency of cheese sticks

[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

mmm forbidden spicy honey

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You absolutely can eat lava... Once

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

I dunno, eating implies swallowing, I'm not convinced you could definitely get there.

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] austinfloyd@ttrpg.network 5 points 2 weeks ago

It's gotta be pahoehoe (the one that looks like honey being stirred)

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

'a'ā looks like it would fizz like pop rocks.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Imagine the terminology if instead of it coming from the study of the Hawaiian volcano system, it came from the Icelandic one.
Then we'd be memorizing words like herliaphongoffjlyur.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago

Some kinds would be foamy, so like very thick cake batter.

[–] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I'd imagine something like this

https://youtu.be/t86YqdtXf4E

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