this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
341 points (97.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12183 readers
2183 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] riskable@programming.dev 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

There's no easier lie for a politician than piety.

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 4 points 6 days ago

The guy is famous for raping a pornstar while married. It would certainly be easy to not do such a thing and then tell people you're pious. But the guy is practically screaming at his followers that he's satan himself and they still want to believe the lie...

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 85 points 6 days ago (4 children)

the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) a growing charismatic movement led by a loose network of apostles and prophets who believe Christians are called to take over the government.

That's wonderful. And the article only gets worse from there.

[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 25 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I always thought a theocratic dictatorship sounded “charming”.

/s

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee -2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I feel like you're being double sarcastic with the /s being that big lol.
So it does doesn't sound charming, eh?

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. They may be more likely to go to Heaven yet at the same time likelier to make a Hell of earth.

This very kindness stings with intolerable insult. To be "cured" against one's will and cured of states which we may not regard as disease is to be put on a level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles, and domestic animals.

-C. S. Lewis

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Damn that hits hard

[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 2 points 6 days ago

It could be slightly worse, though:

"The Nuclei Armati Rivoluzionari (English: "Armed Revolutionary Nuclei"), abbreviated NAR, was an Italian neo-fascist armed militant organization active during the Years of Lead from 1977 to November 1981. "

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago

eh, scientology already did it better

[–] Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world 76 points 6 days ago (3 children)

At this point stuff like this isn't oniony anymore, just trump supporters being trump supporters.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 10 points 6 days ago

The only part that is oniony is that it makes me cry

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 29 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Yeah. It's the kind of headline that I want to shock me, but it's just becoming a dreadful background noise.

[–] TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip 6 points 6 days ago

Remember when Trump had daily Covid announcements or when he was still on Twitter? Pretty much everything he did or said was so absurd that cracking jokes about it became a serious challenge. How do you come up with a fictional scenario that is more over the top than actual reality.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 3 points 5 days ago

That's how it works.

The first day you go to work in a sewer the stench is overwhelming. By the sixth week you can eat lunch next to your work station.

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

Irony died circa 2016.

[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 54 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Funny how they don't even see the whole golden calf, false idol aspect of this.

[–] seth@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

They didn't read that far. Most of them who even start don't even get to the "begat" sections, Genesis 5 if you start in the Old Testament and Matthew 1 if you start in the New Testament. So, the very first books of each testament.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 37 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Well I mean, as far as idols go, he's about as false as they come.

[–] ThePantser@lemmy.world 25 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He's also an orangery gold color and he loves gold.

Come on if there is a god when will they start the smiting?

[–] finkrat@lemmy.world 33 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Would be nice, they already made the graven image

[–] hate2bme@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] pandapoo@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 days ago
[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 34 points 6 days ago (1 children)

E's not the messiah! E's a very naughty boy!

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Couldn’t help but think of the Ebeneezer Goode song https://youtu.be/7b2T8K2D-ps

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 6 days ago (1 children)
  1. Law in christianity: "have no god besides me"

Well they all going to hell

[–] cultsuperstar@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Nah, they've already accepted Jesus Christ as their savior. That's basically their get out of jail free card. It's why a lot of them are horrible vile hateful people.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Some of them are Catholics and Catholics don’t subscribe to sola fide, well, it’s against their stated religion, I’ve met plenty who do

[–] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Don't they remember what is said in the Ten Commandments? “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me."

Of course if they are the megachurch type of Christians, their only real god is money.

[–] Mirshe@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Oh that's an easy dodge. A lot of these people think Trump is either a prophet of the Lord, a devout agent (think David or Solomon), or Jesus Christ Himself.

Let's go to the part where he gives away everything to those less fortunate please.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's a stupid religion and belief system.

This is just another example of why.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's right there in the ten commandments, which I'd like to remind you has other legit bangers that still work in these modern times like "thou shalt not kill" :

Exodus 20:3-5 King James Version

3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

[–] shylosx@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

What's funny is the decalogue is likely borrowed from what is commonly called the "ritual commandments" of Exodus 34, which are explicitly stated to be the 10 commandments in the Hebrew Bible (despite tradition calling the decalogue the 10 commandments) and includes such bangers as "sacrifice your firstborn son" and "in fact make lots of sacrifices to me"

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 16 points 6 days ago

It doesn’t matter how awful he is. They only see that he's a great tool for creating a white evangelical theocracy. They’d act this way for Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Dahmer, or (insert awful person here).

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago

How did that whole revelations anti-christ thing go again? /S

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 6 days ago

I was there.

May you find peace, now that it's over. Thank you for your service.

[–] Kalysta@lemm.ee 10 points 5 days ago

They need to lose their tax exempt status.

[–] Jagothaciv@kbin.earth 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

All the good christians died a long time ago, the ones left are performative.

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That is not true. I know some really good people that happen to be Christian as well. It's just that these are two different things and most do either belong to the one or the other group.

[–] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

They didn’t say “good people”

[–] Carrolade@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

“We are the last bit of a republic, of the free world,”

Worlds a big place, lady.

[–] knatschus@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 6 days ago
[–] realcaseyrollins@thelemmy.club 5 points 6 days ago (2 children)

So weird. Christian nationalism isn't the thing I fear most in American politics, but as a Christian myself I definitely hate it more than anything else in the American political landscape.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Someone once posted that rather than calling it Christian Nationalism, we should call it Nationalist Christianity, because it has a convenient and easy to remember abbreviation: Nat.C.

Nahhhh, cuz Christian Nationalism isn't Christianity. It seeks to worship the state by turning it into something they deem worthy of worship, rather than worshipping God.

[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Did he grab the pastor by the cooch?

[–] SattaRIP@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 6 days ago

They clearly haven't smelled him.