this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
535 points (96.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12189 readers
2183 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 185 points 10 months ago (6 children)

What does he smell like?

Depends.

[–] I_Miss_Daniel@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (5 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 36 points 10 months ago

Your powers of deduction are unparalleled.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] furzegulo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 10 months ago

like a five penny fascist

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] MajesticSloth@lemmy.world 169 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Gotta love the Streisand effect on display. Wouldn't have known he smells if they hadn't "fired back."

[–] TurboDiesel@lemmy.world 88 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Are you sure about that? Because every picture I see of the seditious fuck makes him look like he smells of hamberder grease and dirty adult diapers.

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Apparently the smell is body odor and makeup....which makes sense

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 162 points 10 months ago (4 children)

“Adam Kinzinger farted on live TV and is an unemployed fraud,” the spokesperson said in a statement provided to The Independent.

This is the official response. You'd best start believing in Idiocracy, you're in one.

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Can I at least get some electrolytes please.

[–] dvlsg@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

Welcome to Costco, I love you!

[–] VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf 12 points 10 months ago

It's what plants crave!

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Why do we allow these morons to make a mockery of society?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Drusas@kbin.social 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (4 children)

When I first saw Idiocracy when it was perhaps a year or three old, I thought it was stupid. I loved the premise but thought the movie was stupid and too exaggerated. That it would be funnier if it were less over the top.

I admit that I was wrong about it being exaggerated. But I was right that it would be funnier otherwise because it wouldn't have been so prescient.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 109 points 10 months ago (2 children)

This is incredible:

When reached for comment about the accusation, a spokesperson for Mr Trump returned the insult to Mr Kinzinger.

“Adam Kinzinger farted on live TV and is an unemployed fraud,” the spokesperson said in a statement provided to The Independent.

“He has disgraced his country and disrespects everyone around him because he is a sad individual who is mad about how his miserable life has turned out.”

Kinzinger just gave us a masterclass on how to troll Trump. Not only is this a “no, YOU smell bad!” Kindergarten-level retort, but it’s also just an ad-hominem attack on Kinzinger from Trump’s lawyers, and it’s pointedly NOT a refutation. They know it’s true, and they know it’s trivially provable. And I feel pretty certain Trump has been screaming at them to sue for slander or whatever, and the lawyers are probably like “nope. You do smell. We will lose. It won’t be close.” I genuinely hope it drives him to distraction. And I hope it comes up in the debates. I hope the Democratic nominee (I know, almost certainly Biden, but a guy can hope) visibly reacts to Trump coming near them with visible, uncontrollable disgust. I hope news orgs take this and run with it like a dog with a bone. I want EVERYONE in the Republican sphere to constantly be talking about how godawful Trump smells.

[–] Tosti@feddit.nl 22 points 10 months ago

Not a refutation... Excellent.
This really is the dumbest timeline isn't it?

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

You know they won't because the media is owned by right wingers

[–] Lophostemon@aussie.zone 58 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Melania always seemed to have a look on her face like someone just farted. I now know why.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Would be hilarious if there was a whole bank of Melania photos where she's smiling from ear to ear when she's not around him.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Drusas@kbin.social 53 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He's an old fat guy with a poor diet, of course he smells.

I don't really care if he smells, but I think it's really funny that they care that somebody said it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] YeetPics@mander.xyz 47 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Jingle bells

trump smells like shit

That is all.

[–] rosymind@leminal.space 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (6 children)

Ok, now I have to take a crack at it.

Jingle bells,

Donald Trump smells,

Pro-se-cute him all the way!

Oh, whata time

It is to live!

Let's li-ti-gate all he has to say!

Hey!

Can anyone else improve this?

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Tremble@sh.itjust.works 45 points 10 months ago

Now this might actually get his base riled up.

But if the campaign said he doesn’t, he definitely smells.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 43 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's not hard to believe. He did once enter Air Force One with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

[–] ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world 56 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And everyone around him let him walk all the way from the can to the plane without saying a single word.

Every single person.

-chef's kiss-

[–] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

Too bad that one aide didn't get the memo and told him about the cheeto dust on his mask when he was touring the factory

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 38 points 10 months ago (2 children)

how fucked in the head do you have to be to married to this giant human-sized piece of feces

[–] Lophostemon@aussie.zone 47 points 10 months ago

Greed is the oldest aphrodisiac.

[–] Hyperreality@kbin.social 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] TigrisMorte@kbin.social 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They should check out the Economy in Slovakia so they'll understand her motivation.

[–] Buck@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Slovenia, and they're not that poor.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] WashedOver@lemmy.ca 32 points 10 months ago

In some ways it makes sense for someone so full of shit he must be overflowing with it.

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 30 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I never heard anyone talk about Trump's smell until seeing this so a. You know he smells. And b. Now I do, too.

[–] Pratai@lemmy.ca 25 points 10 months ago

Make America Gag Again.

[–] Nolegjoe@lemmy.world 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The state of American politics

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] slurpeesoforion@startrek.website 23 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Are we sure it's not some power move from his art of the deal? Like he intentionally smells so people are desperate to get out of the room?

[–] krakenx@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

"The fart of the deal"

[–] el_hache@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Aah the ole Yu-Gi-Oh tournament strategy I see.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] creamed_eels@toast.ooo 22 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Trump’s professional, adult lawyers: “No u”

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] rebelsimile@sh.itjust.works 21 points 10 months ago

You know he smells like old mayo and ass.

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

so he's full of shit, and he smells like it.. it only makes sense..

[–] sndmn@lemmy.ca 16 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Who are you going to believe? Trump's team or Bob Woodward?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Comon guys, don't be so mean.

He just forgot to change his diaper that one time!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] qwertyqwertyqwerty@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’m beginning to think he uses the bronzer to protect his skin with an extra layer.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

What a Stinker!

[–] groupofcrows@lemmy.ca 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] doublejay1999@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

Can I just summarise where we are, as we close 2023 ?

“You smell” “Do not” “Do so”” “Do not”

With a media and leadership like this, the only hope is nice fat meteor from the cosmos .

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

Jingle bells

Donald smells

Eric did a line

Melania holds her nose

And Rudy got a fine

load more comments
view more: next ›