A literal sexual demon, a monstrum incarnate, a narcotic parody of sex
Found my new Tinder bio
this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
391 points (100.0% liked)
196
16423 readers
1698 users here now
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Bro thought the birth of Slannesh was a real story.
i want this on a t-shirt.
Is that an Allen Ginsberg quote?
"Found my new Tinder bio"
-- Allen Ginsburg
It would certainly appear so.
If you want to see a parody of sex, just go, Google search “soaking” and “jump humping”. Purity culture ends up in some weird places.
jesse
what the fuck are you talking about
I assume you were trying to reply to me.
In some parts of christian purity culture, specifically for mormons allegedly, they think it's a big no no to have sex before marriage. They've come up with loopholes to avoid actually having sex but come as close to it as possible. Soaking is when you penetrate someone and just let it sit there with no movement. Allegedly on the BYU college campus, it is popular to go "soaking" while a friend of yours jumps on the bed nearby you to create the sensation of motion, this act is called "jump humping".
I am unfortunately already cursed with the knowledge of that concept.
What do you think their plans are when they get to heaven? Do they think god will be chill with premarital sex due to a technicality? The ridiculous hubris of believing you can fucking debate a deity and win.
Also, I was doing a breaking bad pseudo-reference. Different jesse
Yeah, whooshed for sure.
Frankly, I have no idea what the majority of modern American Evangelical style christians are going to do when and if they end up in front of their deity, because everything I've read and studied is pretty contrary to most of the modern Christian Political talking points. Jesus was very against the types of people christians today have become, Jesus certainly wouldn't have advocated for taking over Rome to become the new oppressors. These same folks believe the book of revelations is going to happen but they can't fathom being a part of the body of the great whore of babylon.
Okay so I grew up, immersed, in Christian purity culture...
Soaking is tantric, but the friend jumping?! These Christians actually make themselves way hornier than the average person... I remember my first Christian gf thought it was a sin to be made to cum, so she would just have me edge her for like hours at a time until she spontaneously orgasmed with no stimulation. Was actually hot af and some of this stuff I carried on to more normal relationships.
Christian girls also hated the idea of me masturbating after they got me aroused so they would weirdly do whatever it took to get me off, as long as it wasn't PIV it was basically fair game. I got used to these really weird/kinky workarounds they'd come up with and it probably made me a deviant. Once at Jesus Camp a girl wanted me to finger her under the blankets at campfire and she came while a dude was crying at the mic giving his emotional testimony. So many fucked up stories like this.
It’s a breaking bad reference/meme
The public projections of a guy who sucks dick to feed his private addictions.
Does anybody know where these literal sexual demons are?
Because I want to avoid those places extra hard.
Extra hard, eh? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more!
That's a whole lotta words just to say "Nobody wants to have sex with me."
These assholes sure spend a lot of time thinking about trans people.
This is certainly one of the most comments of all time
Laughs in sober asexual transexual
🤣 😂 🤣
I mean it's funny how little these peoole understand the issues they are so passionate to talk about.
Sir, this is a Wendy's...
Technically the truth for 2022 Twitter.
If marijuana made people trans we’d have Wilhelmina Nelson
Have you seen her hair? She's just in denial
Well, those were words..l
Some of them were.
This guy is channeling the writer of Reefer Madness.
Honestly, he makes this transgender thing sound metal as hell and now I kinda wanna try it. So do you freebase it or what?
Frysquint.gif
Can’t tell if serious or parody…
unfortunately, it is serious
i made the mistake of going on the posters account
Hooboy. I am sorry, and thank you for your service <3
I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds like a good time.
Had me at "marijuanification"
This got me wet
Somebody found a thesaurus
I was queer long before I ever tried pot. Disney's Robin Hood is what done it for me. Stupid, sexy, animated fox...
tag yourself im the monstrum
I'm the marijuanification of the human libido
I think this person has been on way too many drugs (ones much harder than weed).
This sounds metal af
Damn I guess it is time to pack another bowl!
This mf straight from 1950
a "monstrum" is a "warning" - so a warning incarnate would be, what, the super nanny?
Wow, that's a lot of words. Too bad they don't make any sense.
Successfully getting ingroup and outgroup to respond "oh, sick!"
So that's what that was
He's got it all wrong, the quantum fluctuations in the flux capacitor prove with 99.84859% certainty that time crystals oscillate at a resonant frequency of the speed of light with hydrogen chloride. It's quite simple, really, I can't believe he's so wrong.