Asklemmy

I quite like the (I think?) Jewish curse: "may your laundry never dry". That would suck wearing clothes that are always slightly damp.

Every set of stairs has one step that is slightly taller than the rest

You know how you sometimes get a pebble stuck under your shoe and walking just feels weird until you remove it?

That, but there’s no actual pebble.

Bell ringing sound every time you get an erection

Everytime you open a door it moans with pleasure.

You must greet everyone you meet with a handshake and ten seconds of uninterrupted eye contact. Forced smiles and a serious talk about how you really are doing are also mandatory.
Pretty awkward if you ask me :)

You lose the ability to differentiate between a fart and a poo.

wind makes everyone ticklish

Make it so that when you arrive home you're never allowed to put your keys in the same place more than once.

Forgot something in the car and have to go back out? Time to find a new spot...

All doors you try to open actually open the opposite direction

switch locations of penis and anus

Eyelids become translucent. In other words, you can still see anything and everything when your eyes are closed.

Remove the ability to remember if you turned something off.

Everyone is ever so slightly telepathic, functionally making a web of felt emotions with no thoughts connecting them so what you feel from this is basically a summary of the people in the area around you.

Example: Everyone could be focused at work, nothing major going on, until someone thinks about their significant other and all of a sudden there's a tiny bit of horny thrown in the mix, everyone knows its there, and no one knows who put it there.

Any time you use something powered by a fossil fuel your pinkies ache about as much as a lightly stubbed toe.

USB-C now has the same connector directionality problem that USB-A does

You never hear someone the first couple times they try to pay you a compliment

Mirror every object. You don't realize how many things are designed with a right-handed assumption unless you aren't right handed. Also, most people can't read well anymore because it's all backwards

Sneezing is excessively messy.

Friction stops working.

It's impossible to determine the charge level of phone batteries. It's now up to you to keep track or your activities and estimate when you'll need to charge, otherwise it will just turn off on its own when the battery runs out.

From now on, you get static shocked every time you touch anything.

It always takes three rotations to plug in a USB cable.

Telepathy for everyone. Instant chaos.

Everyone's butt hole could be anywhere on their body. Everyone needs a different kind of toilet to properly position themselves. Everyone starts aligning themselves as friends based on the location of their butt hole. "Oh sorry I can't stay too long. My butthole is in my armpit."

Men die after they fertilize women just like mantises

No matter how much you wipe there is still poop

One of your socks is always wet

This'd likely a bit more than inconvenience, but honestly, to the degree that it would be more than that (or more accurately to the people to whom it would be more than that), I just don't give a shit.

Make it literally impossible to knowingly lie. Full stop.

everytime you are going to sit, you have to declare it out loud