this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2023
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I'd make it so that liquid soap dispensers sounded like they were struggling to nut quietly each time you pressed down.

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[–] spitz@lemmy.ml 65 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I quite like the (I think?) Jewish curse: "may your laundry never dry". That would suck wearing clothes that are always slightly damp.

[–] Pea666@feddit.nl 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] spitz@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know you jest, but the more you think about it, the nastier a curse it is. For example, your crack would always be itchy. You'd never be able to put your clothes away because mold would devour them. And so on.

[–] Terevos@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You could never wear socks because your feet would get diseased.

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[–] TheWeirdestCunt@lemm.ee 47 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Every set of stairs has one step that is slightly taller than the rest

[–] federalreverse@feddit.de 14 points 1 year ago

Don't bother with steps that are each different β€” making steps the wrong height/length is enough. If you ever walked up/down stairs that felt really weird it's probably because the builder ignored the international standards on that topic and built steps that are a couple centimeters off.

[–] BitSound@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

That was actually a thing in castle design. There'd be one step just high enough compared to the others that an assassin chasing the king would hopefully stumble on it, and the king could turn around and stab the assassin.

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[–] Pea666@feddit.nl 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

You know how you sometimes get a pebble stuck under your shoe and walking just feels weird until you remove it?

That, but there’s no actual pebble.

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[–] mrbubblesort@kbin.social 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Bell ringing sound every time you get an erection

[–] Trekman10@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago

That could be deafening in certain public spaces.

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[–] Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Everytime you open a door it moans with pleasure.

[–] LeftRedditOnJul1@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This answer is brought to you by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation

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[–] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You must greet everyone you meet with a handshake and ten seconds of uninterrupted eye contact. Forced smiles and a serious talk about how you really are doing are also mandatory.
Pretty awkward if you ask me :)

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[–] breathless_RACEHORSE@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You lose the ability to differentiate between a fart and a poo.

[–] MrSnowy@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

Crohns and colitis say hi

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[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

wind makes everyone ticklish

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[–] all-knight-party@kbin.cafe 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Make it so that when you arrive home you're never allowed to put your keys in the same place more than once.

Forgot something in the car and have to go back out? Time to find a new spot...

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[–] toiletobserver@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

All doors you try to open actually open the opposite direction

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[–] INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

switch locations of penis and anus

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[–] orangeNgreen@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Eyelids become translucent. In other words, you can still see anything and everything when your eyes are closed.

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[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Remove the ability to remember if you turned something off.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Joke's on you, I already can't.

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[–] Ceraldus@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone is ever so slightly telepathic, functionally making a web of felt emotions with no thoughts connecting them so what you feel from this is basically a summary of the people in the area around you.

Example: Everyone could be focused at work, nothing major going on, until someone thinks about their significant other and all of a sudden there's a tiny bit of horny thrown in the mix, everyone knows its there, and no one knows who put it there.

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[–] Tagger@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Any time you use something powered by a fossil fuel your pinkies ache about as much as a lightly stubbed toe.

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[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

USB-C now has the same connector directionality problem that USB-A does

[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Id like to think it would still work both ways mechanically, but would be one sided electrically.

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You never hear someone the first couple times they try to pay you a compliment

[–] niucllos@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Mirror every object. You don't realize how many things are designed with a right-handed assumption unless you aren't right handed. Also, most people can't read well anymore because it's all backwards

[–] lol3droflxp@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’d say reading is back to normal after 2-3 days tops for most people.

[–] dandroid@dandroid.app 7 points 1 year ago

I used to tutor math at a company that insisted that we write upside down so the page was always facing the students. It really did only take like 3 days for it to feel natural.

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sneezing is excessively messy.

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[–] sylver_dragon@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (4 children)

This is apocalyptic-level inconvenience

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[–] alokir@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's impossible to determine the charge level of phone batteries. It's now up to you to keep track or your activities and estimate when you'll need to charge, otherwise it will just turn off on its own when the battery runs out.

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[–] Melkath@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (4 children)

From now on, you get static shocked every time you touch anything.

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[–] thegreekgeek@midwest.social 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It always takes three rotations to plug in a USB cable.

[–] mrbubblesort@kbin.social 19 points 1 year ago

OP said you have to change something, not describe the world like it is

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[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Telepathy for everyone. Instant chaos.

[–] Oyster_Lust@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How about telepathy for half the people. That's even more chaotic.

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[–] IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone's butt hole could be anywhere on their body. Everyone needs a different kind of toilet to properly position themselves. Everyone starts aligning themselves as friends based on the location of their butt hole. "Oh sorry I can't stay too long. My butthole is in my armpit."

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[–] FinallyDebunked@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Men die after they fertilize women just like mantises

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[–] Heikki@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

No matter how much you wipe there is still poop

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[–] Wookie@artemis.camp 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

One of your socks is always wet

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[–] Rottcodd@lemmy.ninja 6 points 1 year ago

This'd likely a bit more than inconvenience, but honestly, to the degree that it would be more than that (or more accurately to the people to whom it would be more than that), I just don't give a shit.

Make it literally impossible to knowingly lie. Full stop.

[–] reksas@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago

everytime you are going to sit, you have to declare it out loud

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