It's always a weird question to me. Every time I see boobs, there is an ass attached to the same person. Both is the way

What is this question😭

Obviously a feet man. Further evidence that Tarantino is Jesus.

Was there not a passage about how he washed feet or something?

Breasts, there's a lot of art made of Christ being breastfed.

This is aphobic. Asexuals are human too.

I honestly can't say, but I know one thing for certain.

the man loved to get nailed.

I'm pretty sure Paul had the celibacy fetish and introduced the sex=bad element to the dogma. Some scholars even suggest that was his thing since the other gods were sex positive. (At least toward men getting laid.)

Post biblcal Christianity was informed, in part, by Hellenic philosophical traditions, which were apollonian in nature. Women's sexuality was on the dionysian side.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

Long hair, glamorous face, skinny ripped body? Jesus was a twink.

Cock.

He was a fisher of men, after all. 😏

This post comes up every so often, and every time either I, or someone else, reminds people that one of the Bible's biggest stories is that of Jesus washing Mary Magdalene's feet. Mary Magdalene was a "street walker" at the time, which is old times speak for hooker, thus making him a feet guy

He was homosexual based on all his male buddies he liked to have dinner with. So, definitely an ass lover.

Well, Christ came riding upon an ass, so I think this is an easy question to answer

TIL ace people aren't "fully human"

Boobs? Ass? Ew. He was clearly a dong man. That whole bit about parting the sea? He actually just whipped out his gigantic cock and created a bridge with it.

Well there are several stories in the Bible about Jesus riding an ass, but none about Jesus riding boobs. So I think it's safe to say Jesus was an ass man.

Most carpenters I've ever known were more boobs men

As the WORD of God he's the source of Proverbs and Song of Solomon so....

Her: Dark am I, yet lovely, because I am darkened by the sun - Song of Solomon 1

so.. tanned

works with eager hands... her arms are strong for her tasks - Proverbs 31

... toned forearms ..

Her: Like an apple[c] tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste - Song of Solomon 2

... not opposed to oblique references to pre-marital fellatio ...

Her: strengthen me with raisins

... .... ... nutrition aware(?) ...

Her: I am ... a lily of the valley .... My beloved ... browses among the lilies

... not opposed to oblique references to pre-marital cunnilingus ... (see also 4:16)

Him: Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead. 2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. 3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely - Song of Solomon 4

... mysterious eyes ... flowing hair ... no missing teeth (lol) ... red lips ...

Him: Your breasts are like two fawns

... young(?), pert, nimble breasts ...

Him: You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water

... looks at camera ...

Her: Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere

... ... my bro was definitely into some sensory stuff ...

Her: My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. - Song of Solomon 5

(authors of erotic lit take note, this is your lord and god speaking)

Him: I went down to the grove of nut trees to look at the new growth in the valley, to see if the vines had budded or the pomegranates were in bloom. - Song of Solomon 6

... so .. pubescent? hey, could be worse ...

Him: Your graceful legs are like jewels - Song of Solomon 7

... legs guy! ...

Him: Your breasts are like two fawns

... breasts again! ...

Him: your breasts like clusters of fruit

... breasts mention number 3 ...

Him: May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine

... #4 ....

breasts ... like towers - Song of Solomon 8

... #5 ...

I think you can draw your own conclusions.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

The Bible doesn't say anything about Jesus' sexuality, let alone preferences. In fact what it does say could lead you to virtually any conclusion.

First, there is zero evidence that Mary was a prostitute as mentioned elsewhere. She was just a follower of Jesus. Biblical scholar Bart Ehrman tells about a fragment of a manuscript of an apocryphal gospel that says "Jesus loved Mary and used to kiss her on the..." and that's where the fragment is broken off. Our dirty little imaginations could come up with anything to finish that sentence but the lost part probably says something stupid like "forehead."

There was "the diciple that Jesus loved" who is once mentioned sleeping on Jesus' busom. The diciple isn't identified but the disciples were supposedly all men.

When he was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, a naked boy was seen running away.

So, we can draw any conclusion we want. The clear answer is probably boobs because he was really into missionary stuff.

He loves them both, since non should be excluded.

It doesn't matter 'cause it would be a miracle if he brought a lady home.

Because while Jesus was prayin'

Fuckin' Craig was layin'

Every lady in the testament

You know what I'm sayin'

Lust is sinful, and Jesus was without sin, though

He seemed like the kind of guy who'd be into thighs tbh

Could he not have been ace?