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Heyo! Stupid question, but I've been double-guessing myself on this and would love some external input on things.

I've been in group therapy since October (so like, 5 or 6 sessions so far). It's an open mixed group, so people of any type of mental illness are free to come and go. The general aim of the group is Behavioral Therapy and it's led by two psychologists. Sessions consist of a short powerpoint presentation followed by worksheets to be filled out in groups of 3-4 people. Generally I think the topics of the sessions, like time management, emotional regulation, stress management etc. are chosen well and do cover a broad spectrum of knowledge.

But, my issue is that I just get completely emotionally flooded and on edge whenever I go there. Which is normal for me, I start crying every time I get put on the spot about my feelings anyways (I've cried every single time I have ever had to talk to a doctor about anything regarding my mental health). But I kinda assumed it might get better? Like I can choke down the crying for the session at least (if I don't get asked about anything bad), but I always cry on the way back home and it's starting to be pretty distressing. Like I consistently lose the latter half of the day to headaches and recovering, and the amount of times I wake up due to nightmares definitely has gone up significantly since starting therapy.

Another thing is that a new person joined the group, and she has a particularly dramatic inflexion in her voice that sounds exactly like my mother whenever she's fishing for sympathy and being the victim. It's really not this person's fault that they talk like that (she's probably a perfectly fine person!) but I do struggle to not flinch whenever she speaks. Recently we also got put into the same group and I completely zoned out and went unresponsive when she tried talking to me 😅 I didn't mean to offend her really, and I'm not sure why I would react like that, but it just kind of happened..

I'm really trying to work on this kind of emotional reactivity, but the part I'm missing is that within therapy, they've explained the model of [situation -> thought -> action], so being aware of situations that bring you into a specific thought pattern and then re-examining that thought pattern can help shape different actions. I'm neither sure which situations upset me like this nor am I sure what sort of thought would contribute to it, as I don't really have any thoughts when I choke up like that. It just seems like a random bodily reaction that floods me with bad feelings (and I can't even elaborate beyond "bad", even if I know all the emotions I can't really name specifics that I experience).

I know it's dumb, but like, maybe there's a type of therapy that could work better than behavioral therapy? Or do I just need to stick it out and continue going? My insurance has approved weekly sessions until April. There's also the issue that I did get an Adhd diagnosis recently and am currently calling around to find a doctor who is willing to prescribe meds (it's complicated here in Germany). So my struggles might just be an adhd thing?

How have your experiences with therapy been? Are you supposed to feel better after every session? Is it supposed to be bad at first but get better with time?

You can take the sweater off when you're not sleeping, but it has to be on at night no matter the temperature.

I think I would demand like 200k, just for the discomfort from the scratchiness. I already sleep with a winter blanket all year round so I wouldn't mind how warm it would get.

I'm getting tested in a bit over two weeks and today was the pre-exam via video call.

The assistant dude that did the interview asked how fiddly/hyperactive I see myself as, and I was like "eh, a bit but not that far above average" Apparently I had been rotating back and forth in my desk chair for the entirety of the preceding 10 mins, which he did point out :|

Apparently it's also not called "Girl math", but "Impulsive over-spending". SMH my head

On an upside though, he also owns reptiles and was happy to indulge an unreasonable amount of questions about his chameleon!!

cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/20786297

bonus pic:

I'm so confused, is this a new thing?? I was looking for German People's experiences with Narcolepsy and Google suggested a Reddit thread about athletes with Narcolepsy. It was in German, so I just assumed it was a German author, but it quickly became weird when the author said "you" instead of "y'all" and mentioned upping his running miles every week.

I checked at the top any yep, there was a little "See Original" button that translated the post to English.

Am I alone in thinking that this is kinda weird and icky? Like this are people speaking about their personal experiences, just pulling their words through automatic translation can kill so much meaning and context. Not even to mention that it makes the search engine result useless for me, as I was specifically looking for German posts :/

I've been messing around with my Pizza Dough recipe for the past 3 days 🐱

The goal was to scale the recipe to two portions (∅25cm) that taste best after around 16-24h resting time. I like my dough fairly thin, but more chewy than crispy. I also go heavy on the toppings, so it should have enough structure to hold them up by itself after the first two bites or so. Most Pizzas here are topped with 250-ish grams of chicken, pickles, pickled red onion, bbq sauce and whatever canned corn-mix I had on hand.

The first Pizza had way too much dough, and I had it in an initially cold pan on a pizza stone. It stayed very soggy in the middle 😕 I also only put oil in the pan, no flour. So it got super stuck.

The second one was light years ahead, way thinner dough and I blasted the pan on my induction stove until it sizzled before putting it in the oven without a pizza stone. The bottom turned out exactly how I like it!!

It still got a little stuck in the pan, as I used oil and too little semolina flour.

Pizza 3 was the best one! I went very heavy when coating the pan in regular flour (instead of semolina, i dont like the texture) and pulled up the crust on all sides so that it wouldn't stick so much. It didn't, and I kinda like the look! This one I also blasted on the stove beforehand and put in the oven with no Pizza stone.

The (current) dough recipe:

• 150g Pizza flour
• 150g water
• 1 tsp olive oil
• 1/8 tsp dry yeast
• 6g salt
• 3 tsp vital wheat gluten (sold as Seitan base)

-> mix everything to a very watery crepe-dough consistency and let sit for 20-30 mins

-> add 100g more flour and knead to a Pizza dough

-> let rest for at least 12h, but 16-24h is even better

-> bake it as hot as your oven will allow, mine has a Pizza setting that does 250°C

I'll probably tweak it even more when I get into the mood for half a week of Pizza again 🐱 I'm thinking that I should be able to get the exact same result from using regular 403 flour but with 4 instead of 3 tsp of the vital wheat gluten. But I might have to scale up the water as well in that case, hmm

Maybe it's an instance thing, maybe it's a Boost thing, but when I search for communities with the simple term "fitness" for example, I only get 5 results that have like, 30 members max.

I'm totally down with organically growing my community list over time just based on links and recommendations, but it is a bit annoying to not find communities when I'm pretty sure that they should exist.

Does anyone have tips on how to find things better?

nevermind

I really like Audiobookbay for discovering new books, but if I'm searching for something specific it is a bit annoying to navigate with their sometimes broken search and the vague categorization. Seeding is also sometimes sparse, especially with older uploads..

Does anyone know good alternatives? There doesn't seem to be an audiobook category in the megathread (yet) ;)