this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2023
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[–] RickRussell_CA@lemmy.world 121 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This is going to seem minor, but it was a shock to me.

I grew up in Texas. I lived in very metropolitan places -- near downtown Dallas, and near the Houston medical center. So I never thought that I was culturally isolated or anything.

When I finally left the state for a job, I went to Los Angeles, circa 2007. In my first week there, a lady pulled up next to me on the street and asked me where the courthouse was. I had a vague idea, but explained that I was new to the area so my advice should be taken with a grain of salt. People familiar with the LAX area will know that the nearby courthouse is a tall building with something resembling a crown or halo, I pointed her toward that.

It wasn't until a couple of minutes later I realized what seemed strange about the encounter. The lady was of African-American descent.

I thought back on 3 decades of living in Texas, and I cannot once remember being approached by a black stranger and asked a question. Not one single time. Houston has a large homeless population, I had many encounters with panhandlers. I couldn't remember one single black person.

In fact, as I thought about it, a HUGE difference between Texas and California was that black folks on the street behaved very differently. In California, they looked you in the eye, they said "hello", etc. In Texas -- at least, up until I left in 2007 -- black folks were strictly "heads down, eyes on your own business". Even thinking back on some black friends and co-workers, I realized that they behaved very differently in public than my white friends did.

The whole thing made me sad for my black friends back in Texas. And now that we know how police treat black folks, I guess I can see why they behaved the way they did.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 years ago

This was not the kind of answer I was expecting. Thank you for sharing.

[–] dandroid@dandroid.app 17 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I moved from California to Texas, and that has not been my experience at all since getting here. Perhaps it's the city I live in, but black people here seem no different than any other person, same as my experience when I lived in California. The percentage of the population that is black here is much, much higher, though.

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[–] darkl1nk@lemmy.ml 69 points 2 years ago (5 children)

I must admit that I eventually got used to it and even started enjoying this attitude, which I also took part in, but I was quite amazed by the Finns.

For work reasons, I had to spend three months in Espoo and the interaction with my colleagues was strangely cold in social interactions. Examples:

  • In the office canteen, they would sit next to you and start eating without even greeting or making conversation. I wondered why they had chosen to sit next to me.
  • When they finished eating, they would get up from the table and not say goodbye.
  • The scrupulous respect for personal space: in queues, crowds, etc.
  • Small talk was generally non-existent. People often preferred to stay quiet rather than chat about the weather or other common topics. Even in an elevator, silence was the norm, not the exception.
  • During meetings, the Finns would often speak only when they had something substantial to contribute. The silence in between wasn't considered awkward, but a moment of thoughtfulness and respect for others' ideas.

I ended up enjoying this way of social interaction. It seems to me that one uses less energy in social situations. There's less stress about having to make conversation or engage in small talks.

Love you Finland.

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[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 68 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Going to sound weird but going to one of my childhood friend's house

He had a loving family where everyone was happy and helped each other. They communicated with each other happily about things that interested them. They were unafraid to share what was on their minds and what they were passionate about. They asked each other to do things without threatening or screaming. When they did have disagreements they talked them out. They'd say, "I love you," without a hint of pain or irony.

It was jarring. It threw me off. I went over to his place a lot (like literally almost every day for the time were friends) and it wasn't until I had been going to his place for a few weeks did it dawn on me that I had never seen his parents argue.

And honestly one of the most eye opening experiences from when I was young about how a family is supposed to function.

I guess you could say it was culture shock because my relatives operated on a culture of fear, hatred, and a lack of love. The phrase, "You have to love me, I'm family," was uttered entirely too many times. Violence and the threat of violence was the only motivator my relatives used.

I was friends with that guy for 3 years. I'll never forget his parents telling me that they saw me as family. I'd say those years did more good for shaping who I am today than all the years I spent with my relatives. I look back fondly on the time I spent with them. I wish it didn't end the way it did though.

I hope they're all doing well.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Sounds pretty similar to how my gf responded to my family. We don't always realize how lucky (or unlucky) we are.

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[–] dotmatrix@lemmy.ftp.rip 67 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (10 children)

Little kids taking a shit literally wherever in China. They have special pants (NSFW?) so they can just crouch down and take to take a dump in a shopping mall, the street, the subway ...

[–] racketlauncher831@lemmy.ml 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This was more common back in 1980s and before, when it wasn't urbanised enough to have public bathrooms. Nowadays of you do that, passerby will give you white eyes.

[–] godless@latte.isnot.coffee 24 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I live in China. It still happens today and nobody bats an eye. I've seen a kid shit on a hospital floor 2 weeks ago, and some old guy pissing against a wall of a shopping mall just yesterday. And this is in a Tier 1 city.

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[–] StanTheMan@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (2 children)
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[–] theUnlikely@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Same for me. It was particularly vexing seeing a child pee into a plant outside an open shopping mall in the center of Shanghai. The restrooms are free, why not just take your kid inside??? The other thing that got me was people refusing to let you off the subway first before they make a mad dash looking for seats. The same happens on the elevators, but there aren't seats so that one is even more confusing.

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[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 59 points 2 years ago (8 children)

How prevalent alcohol culture is in the West. I'm Southeast Asian and it's more common for us to drink sugary drinks and have food at the local corner restaurant at night instead of having alcohol when we spend time with friends.

When I studied in the West, it really struck me how the only place you really could hang out at night was the bar, and alcohol was often the preferred drink. And they normally closed at 12am, so you can't even stay out that late.

Personally I'm not very fond of inebriation just due to the issues it creates (not that my friends were alcoholics and got blackout drunk every time we hung out), so I found it kind of bad that it's so socially accepted to see a need to get drunk in order to tolerate socialising with friends.

[–] kabukimeow@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm not much of a drinker myself but. Some people use alcohol because it makes them "open up" and it's easier for them to have fun that way. (this is what the finnish song "cha cha cha" is about.)

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[–] carbonprop@lemmy.ca 55 points 2 years ago (8 children)

Believe it or not it was a trip to Memphis for training from Canada. I am not well travelled by any means. I made it into Memphis and after a short ride, arrived at my hotel. The people who worked there were some of the most lovely people I have ever met. Southern hospitality was in their soul. I even got to sit down one afternoon with some other guests and hotel staff to discuss differences in politics, healthcare and so on. It blew my mind when people were telling me the expense of just having a baby delivered at their local hospital. I could not wrap my mind around not wanting socialized healthcare. It was the first evening in the hotel, I decided to turn on the local news for Memphis. This was the first real culture shock. The violence. Shootings, stabbings, robberies. I honestly went from feeling like this place is amazing, to this place scares the sh!t out of me. I could not understand why in a place where I had met such beautiful and lovely individuals had to live in a place that was so violent. So after my training week had finished up I decided to head to Beal street and walk around the downtown core a bit. Beal was very much what I had imagined. Kind of felt like a tourist trap. Anyhow I ventured off the beaten path and headed into the town to do some shopping around. I had left a local record shop and heard the ranting of some biker coming out of a building. He was yelling the most racist things if I have ever heard. I was floored. Most of the racists I have encountered where I live are old asshats who keep it secret. But this man out in the street let his hatred fly.

Memphis was this weird crossover world where I was treated like gold and at the same time had to feel afraid for my safety. It still blows my mind the racism and bigotry people still face. It has stuck with me for years.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

could not wrap my mind around not wanting socialized healthcare

Listen to this podcast

Frame Canada: Wendell Potter spent decades scaring Americans. About Canada. He worked for the health insurance industry, and he knew that if Americans understood Canadian-style health care, they might.... like it. So he helped deploy an industry playbook for protecting the health insurance agency. https://www.npr.org/2020/10/19/925354134/frame-canada

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[–] MedicareForSome@lemmy.ml 45 points 2 years ago (19 children)

When my Muslim coworker told me that they didn’t use toilet paper and found it disgusting.

I later got a bidet and have never looked back.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Here we are, back to pooping again

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[–] PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 41 points 2 years ago

I went to India (New Delhi, Goa, Chennai, Jaipur) as a middle class Canadian.

People hanging off the side of busses, monkeys running around everywhere, open sewage, cows eating garbage on the side of the road, literally everyone staring at me, tons of people following me trying to give me directions to tourist sites, different views on personal space.

Shit was wild.

[–] atlasraven31@lemm.ee 36 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

I was in an airport argument with a British person. I was amazed to learn not only do they like to argue but they like being calm and reasonable about it. I think inviting and arguing with strangers is something they do to pass the time.

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[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 34 points 2 years ago (5 children)

The sheer avalanche of religious bullshit in the Finnish Military.

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[–] snek_boi@lemmy.ml 32 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Not me, but the first time my boyfriend traveled with my family somewhere, he could not believe that sitting quietly in a living room reading was a thing. My family didn't feel the need to fill our day to the brim with tours or shopping or other activities. And that was shocking to him.

[–] Hangglide@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (3 children)

That's shocking to me too. Why travel if you aren't going to make the most of being in a different place?

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[–] calexil@lemmy.ml 27 points 2 years ago

Went to Ireland for a couple weeks. I was expecting a bunch of rowdy angry drunks, and instead was met with warmth and hospitality at every turn, and constant singing/music everywhere.

Truly mind blowing

[–] ladodger34@infosec.pub 26 points 2 years ago (6 children)

I graduated from high school in 1995. The community I grew up in was incredibly diverse. It was a decent sized city (100k+) and we had about 3,000 students the year I graduated.

That summer, we went to rural Idaho for a family reunion. It was probably the first time in my life that I visited a place that was exclusively white. I’m a white dude myself, but like I said, grew up in a diverse community.

The lack of diversity was a giant culture shock to me. I was in a small community with a population that was about half the size of the school I had just graduated from.

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[–] cccc@aussie.zone 26 points 2 years ago (6 children)

10 years ago I was visiting friends in Melbourne. They casually proposed going out and hanging out like you would at around 11am on a Saturday. It was 9pm on a Tuesday. Blew my mind that most things were open and operating.

Where I live if you haven’t eaten by 8pm, you better enjoy McDonald’s because it’s the only thing open.

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[–] karbotect@vlemmy.net 23 points 2 years ago

How big "anti-imperialism" is as an ideology in countries ravaged by America and the former Soviet-bloc.

I'm of Iraqi descent and whenever I visit home I see people supporting extreme ideologies like Islamism or Stalinism or some unholy mix between the two, which is always nuts for me. They are super-political, but they never vote, because that means the "imperialist system wins". They use anti-imperialism as a justification for anti-LGBT, anti-feminist, anti-democratic, anti-religious and anti-secularist hate.

Otherwise the people are very nice, but if any major political/cultural topic is being mentioned, they go full doomer mode.

I get why anti-imperialism is so big in Iraq, but actually experiencing it, is really crazy.

[–] Saigonauticon@voltage.vn 23 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I immigrated to Vietnam. That was ok.

Visiting north America again years later was quite a shock!

[–] Erk@cdda.social 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Going home after living abroad was a way bigger shock to me than living abroad was too. You suddenly see your own culture from outside.

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[–] frequency@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Some cultures eat with their mouths open and it is considered as a kind of a compliment to the cook, like "hey it's so good, it makes me do this loud noise while I eat it". Quite unpleasant.

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[–] kabukimeow@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (5 children)

They only use darn cash in Germany. Feels like going back to ancient times.

[–] jernej@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

i prefer cash, gives you anonimity and an easier overwiev of your spending

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[–] datendefekt@lemmy.ml 22 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I grew up in Liberia in the 80s and had to leave due to the civil war. (Remember General Butt-Naked? Yeah, that war in that country) It was a crazy time, not one big shock but a string of many smaller things. For example, I would look out the school window and see a horde of students wielding machetes overrunning the school grounds - I can't remember what they were protesting.

But coming back to Europe the biggest culture shocks were functioning waste disposal and utilities, and how clean everything was. Also it was hard for me to relate to people's problems, because they seemed so trivial. Took me a while to adjust.

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[–] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

When I first came to US, I was very shocked by how talkative Americans are, especially to strangers. Ngl, I was a bit annoyed at first. Then I realized that's just the way they are.

[–] Roko@lemmy.click 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm an American who finds this trait very annoying. People do not know when to shut up, and they tell you the most personal things!

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[–] HallaWorld@lemmy.ml 20 points 2 years ago (5 children)

I spent a few years in the US, coming from Scandinavia. It took several months before I was able to navigate the whole "strike up a conversation with anyone"-thing. The issue wasn't so much being "forced" into conversations (which I got used to fairly quickly) as it was knowing when these interactions were considered over by the other party. I'd often, unintentionally, overstay my welcome. The general vibe and attitude were also quite different.

The biggest shock was however moving back home. I'm originally from one of the larger cities in my home country, but ended up in a tiny village through a series of coincidences. Going from a multi-million US city to a tiny Scandinavian mountain village was rough. Went from a place filled with outgoing people to a place where the cashier in the local store still took me for a tourist after having lived there for a year. An almost impenetrable society. I've been here for a decade now, and have long since realized that I will always be "that guy from XYZ". On the plus side, it's nice not having to deal with people beyond my own family an coworkers. On the negative side I have almost no sense of belonging here outside of my wife's family who are all local.

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[–] tymon@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Growing up homeschooled in a cult in the American South, escaping, and then moving to Brooklyn. Kind of a roundhouse-kick to the id, ego, and outlook on literally everything

[–] Chais@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

German living in Canada since 2018. Couple of things:

  • There's no bread culture. It's all toast, with the exception of French breads. But I saw brown colored toast sold as pumpernickel. A travesty.
  • The love for bland food. I know, there was a demonization campaign against salt in the 80s or something. But you gotta get over it. Feels like you're saving salt from the cooking to put it on the road in the winter.
  • The healthcare system is a joke. "bUt It'S bEtTeR tHaN iN tHe Us." As if that's difficult. Only difference is your dumpster isn't on fire, yet.
  • THE ABSOLUTE TRASH THAT'S SOLD AS TOILET PAPER! Honestly my biggest pet peeve. TP here is flimsy and overpriced. >1$ for a roll of 2-ply or >2$ per roll of 3-ply, but both tear if you do much as look at them the wrong way.
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[–] fulano@lemmy.eco.br 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

When I started using the internet, it was a shock, because I got in contact with people from different places and realized how poor I am :(

Even today, I get cultural shocks here and there. Just this week, someone mentioned what they consider the bare minimum specs for a phone they consider to be viable for simple usage, and guess what? My phone doesn't have half of these specs.

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Visited Guatemala and while driving down a rural road saw a kid around 8 years old riding a horse wielding a machete. Also saw the military with AK’s patrolling the mall.

[–] sayabulegila@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The first time I ever left the country was to go live in Indonesia for a bit. They were soo many things, and it started the instant I got there. At the airport, I remember seeing a huge sign that said "Welcome to Indonesia! Death penalty for drug traffickers!". Also, the traffic was so wild in the taxi ride from the airport to my apartment. All the cars, horse carriages, 10 times as many mopeds/motorcycles as cars, bajais (tuk tuks), all weaving so chaotically I had to close my eyes.

Having a maid/cook, people who did our laundry, and finding out how common that was.

Having to bribe a cop for being out late at night with a guy (I'm a woman), but only having to give him the equivalent of like $5USD.

Everyone staring at me ALWAYS. Random people asking to take photos with me all the time πŸ˜†.

Haggling at basically every store/market except the fancier/chain ones.

Squat toilets. Also seeing shoe prints on standard toilets and signs telling people not to squat on those toilets.

Armed guards and metal detectors at most malls and hotels. Every time we'd come home our car would have to go through an armed security checkpoint and they'd check inside the car and open the trunk etc.

[–] pathief@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Definitely my trip to Qatar.

Once I was standing in a public place, there was a performance on a temporary stage. I was approached by the local law enforcement, I couldn't be there. Left side of the stage was for families only, right side was for everyone. Restaurants sometimes also had 2 doors, as if they were different restaurants. Left was for families, right was for everyone else.

Male friends holding hands and kissing in the face, as a gesture of friendship. Not that holding hands is weird, just found it odd on a country that stones gay people. Public affections between male and female was very rare.

All women wore hijab, others wore an additional piece of cloth that covered her entire head. It was very awkward to see them driving cars in this attire.

Then there was Ramadan. That made life a while lot harder.

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