Asklemmy

I was worried that lemmy wouldn't reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

I was concerned of the amount of users not being enough to generate content, but so far I have been proven wrong. And the quality of the content is much better. At least for now.

enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you're not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.

while you're out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!

remember to stay hydrated!! I know you're not trying to pee either but it's important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee

In 10 years, people are going to say "I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post"

OP doesn't want his crush knowing that he poops. Simple as.

``

Are you by chance trapped in a submarine near the Titanic?

I came to Lemmy as a substitute for Reddit, and I'm impressed at how little time it took to reach the high-quality posts that Reddit was known for.

I've replied to quite a few people and I'm going to bed now.

I'll edit the posts with updates when my poopless journey ends. Either when the three-day poopless period is over (28th June) or when the whole thing is over (30 June/1 July).

Wish me luck.

OP, you misunderstand the "no shitposts on lemmy" guideline, that's not what it means

Taking bets:

• Participating in a competitive event where bathroom breaks are minimal or non-existent, such as a long-distance, multi-day gaming or eSports tournament.
• Attending a religious or spiritual retreat where fasting or avoiding certain bodily functions is part of the practices or rituals.
• Engaging in a survival challenge or a bet where the person has to limit food intake and avoid defecating for a certain period of time.
• Undergoing a specific medical procedure or test that requires limiting food intake and avoiding bowel movements for a few days.
• Participating in a scientific experiment or study where they have to control their diet and bowel movements.
• Partaking in a performance art piece or protest where he's limiting his bodily functions as part of the statement.
• Attending an event (like a music festival or convention) where bathroom facilities are notoriously unclean or inconvenient, and they want to avoid using them as much as possible.
• Embarking on a long journey where bathroom facilities may not be readily available or convenient, such as a cross-country road trip or sailing expedition.
• Participating in a reality TV show or film production where bathroom breaks are limited or inconvenient.
• Engaging in a personal challenge or self-imposed discipline practice related to endurance or minimalism.

So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

Are you, by any chance in a submarine?

I don't know the answer, but now I can say I was here during the infamous 'Poop post' on Lemmy 10 years from now.

This is the kind of post we need around here :)

I suggest you do poop, your plan atm sounds cartoonishly stupid and likely to blow up in your face.

Do keep us posted though!

We finally got shitposting on Lemmy, lessfgo!

Lemmy finally feels like home now. 😂😂

NASA has a paper on how to not poop for days. It's on the Internet. Before space toilets there was only a space bag with finger scissor/scoop holes. It didn't work, poop got everywhere. The paper goes into detail about fecal matter being everywhere after early multi-day missions.

So they figured it out. Their system works -- I've also had my own reasons.

first day on lemmy, and this is the shit i see right off the bat. I found my reddit replacement.

This thread is going to haunt me. One day, years from now while lying in bed and slowly drifting off to sleep, I'll suddenly sit bolt upright and exclaim, "Why couldn't that dude poop!?"

Happy i switched over to lemmy in time to whitness this

I love that this is the flagship viral post for the new popular Lemmy. At this point, OP's reason for not pooping is tertiary to the entertainment! Also, I'm pretty sure it's just social anxiety.

• I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

Sure sounds like something someone who's going to mail himself somewhere would say.

The transformation is complete we are officially better than reddit.

Update because I still get one or two comments in my inbox daily asking me about this thing.

Yes, I did succeed.

No, I'm not telling anyone what all of this was about.

I got constipated after the thing was over and made a post asking for help.

The promised picture of my porcelain throne:

Your last three posts are a roller coaster in wondering "What's this guy up to?". Thanks for the laughs

I was here for this post that will go down in Fediverse history.

I have the solution because I too have been in this exact situation, but you can't eat much or you'll be extremely uncomfortable.

The day before you go, drink a full bottle of magnesium citrate. This will cause liquid diarrhea and completely empty you out. This is used before Colonoscopies to give the doctor a clear view.

Then for the next 3 days eat very little while taking 3 immodium each day.

You're welcome.

so this is where Lemmys lore began

Dude the submersible's gone, there isn't gonna be another trip down there. Get your $250,000 back and do something meaningful with your life.

Jesus wtf lol, this is one of those posts that's going to become a copypasta

Without context. This is such a hilarious situation, it's like, when a sitcom character whos role is to be the goof of the bunch, asks his friends this question and he's serious and frantic.

I have done two seven-day fasts and four three-day fasts. You'll want to prep with fasting practice and then watch your water intake to make sure you're not dehydrated.

I would pay $50 to know why the fuck you're doing this.

Use anti diarrhea medication, for example Loperamide, it's available in every normal pharmacy (found it in France and Germany, no idea where you are). It will basically numb all your muscles in your gut and it will become impossible to poop.

For three days that should be fine, but you should reduce your food volume a bit.

This is unhealthy and stupid!!! But it works and is not crazy dangerous for your body.

P.S.:I guess you should just overcome your social fears and poop like a normal person.

My guess: Airsoft or paintball MilSim (Military-Simulation) operation. OP is a sniper. There is an ambush. Long-shot: re-enactment of The killing of Osama Bin Laden. OP's crush is there. OP's butthole is sore, so they want a few days of no toilets to allow their bottom to heal.

I miscalculated. The poopless days begin tomorrow, not today. About 28 hours left.

This is the content I was waiting for! I’ve read this while sitting on my throne 😂😂😂💩

Lemmy is good just because of this post