this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

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[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (9 children)

I miscalculated. The poopless days begin tomorrow, not today. About 28 hours left.

[–] Spidertax@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 year ago

Are you trying to build up a giga shit, so you can clog your nemesis's toilet?

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Currently sitting on the toilet. Taking my last shit. 12 hours and 33 minutes left.

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is this what giving birth feels like?

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm looking up at the ceiling, my mouth open in a silent scream of rage and desperation. Cords stand out on my neck as every neuron in my brain wills that stubborn piece of poop to pass through my hole. My phone is in my hand, playing this video on loop. Yet, the fecal brick resists. It is not showing any signs of giving in. However, I am determined to clear myself out before the three-day period starts. I am not giving up.

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I gave up. I forced it so hard it almost made me throw up. I'm going to bed.

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Attempt 2 at taking my last shit.

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

UPDATE: I HAVE OFFICIALLY SHITTEN MY LAST SHIT!

[–] XPost3000@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago
[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The shitless period has begun.

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Day 1 of not shitting started 4 hours ago, but it's time for the real journey to start. Goodbye my friends. Wish me luck.

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Day 1 is over. I have not shitten.

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Very bad situation can't focus on grammar and stuff but i almost shat only forced myself not to becoz cant disappoint lemmings anyways bye now that's the day two update

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

3 DAYS OVER I MADE IT LESGOO

[–] kiriakos@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago
[–] MrPear@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago
[–] TWeaK@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago

5PM GMT on Wednesday!

[–] daan@lemmy.vanoverloop.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

Congrats! Good luck not pooping.

[–] AlmightySnoo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

so now starts the 3 days no-poop challenge?

[–] Foreverwinter@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

πŸ˜‚ Legendary status updates!

Keep us posted. We must know what happens over the next three days!

[–] wyrmroot@programming.dev 6 points 1 year ago

So on top of everything it’s a sudden pooplessness? Fascinating.

[–] headlesscyborg@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

Since you added the hours left, the whole (not-)pooping thing sounds way more serious now. Damn, maybe if you added some countdown timer, I'd stop laughing.

Spoiler: I won't

[–] Cloak@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

Thanks for the update

[–] Ratking@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What on earth are you up to my dear friend

[–] boopdepop@lemmy.fmhy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

Not pooping for starters

[–] rockmeat@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

will you keep us posted on how it's going?

[–] Badkid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

The forbidden poop saga continues...

Good luck, hang in there