this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

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[โ€“] Cinner@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I have the solution because I too have been in this exact situation, but you can't eat much or you'll be extremely uncomfortable.

The day before you go, drink a full bottle of magnesium citrate. This will cause liquid diarrhea and completely empty you out. This is used before Colonoscopies to give the doctor a clear view.

Then for the next 3 days eat very little while taking 3 immodium each day.

You're welcome.

[โ€“] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Since OP is pulling a Gandalf and keeping his secrets, maybe you'd care to share how you found yourself in such a no-shit scenario?

[โ€“] manifex@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

The no-shitters keep it secret. Keep it safe.

[โ€“] Cinner@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm in solidarity with OP on this one.

Or liquidarity as it would seem.

[โ€“] lp0101@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Magnesium Citrate does not fuck around. I used it once when constipated and it cleared me out good.

I also barely slept that night and had to take the following day off work, because i absolutely could not stop shitting for almost 24 hours

[โ€“] Cinner@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What's sad is I've been so constipated before (1 1/2 - 2 weeks of no pooping) that I drank a bottle of mag cit. And took some ex lax. And drank some miralax. And that still didn't do much for a few days.