Asklemmy

Hot beverages are always either too hot or too cold.

I would give everyone noclip mode.

Convenient because you can fly anywhere and through walls. People's commutes would be so much shorter! You could visit any country you wanted without even needing planes. Everyone would experience an unprecedented level of freedom.

Inconvenient because of the messy implications of getting stuck in walls if you turned it off at the wrong time. Also people would probably just be able to take anything they wanted without repurcussions so the world might devolve into chaos. You wouldn't really be able to jail anyone. Security and privacy would be hard to come by.

Sex is painful for the man too

Brain now naturally resists sleep for as long as possible, so everyone stays awake for two or three days before crashing uncontrollably.

I'd make every scissor a little bit loose so whatever it's cutting turns sideways and gets stuck near the end.

I wish for water to no longer be a bipolar molecule

Whenever you say anything to anyone the other person always knows exactly what your thinking is behind what you are saying.

That would make it nearly impossible to lie, cheat or deceive others, even for the smallest thing.

So that way when your girlfriend asks you if you would still love her if she were a worm, even though you would say, "Of course my love!" She would know you actually mean "what the fuck are you talking about?" And you would know she actually meant "my emotional batteries are running dry and I want you to recharge them"

change the date system to day month year

Make flashlights scream when you turn them on.

Have every squeeze of tooth paste contain an air bubble that spews a bit on you.

Have a single dead pixel in the center of every display.

Make fridge doors not close automatically.

Make cars moan, whether ICE or electric.

All mouthwash turns to orange juice after brushing your teeth

At random times whenever you are traveling in any vehicle, you simultaneously feel a sneeze coming on, and yet have to pee a little bit too. However, you can neither sneeze nor pee until you are out of the vehicle.

Inconvenient on a bus/train or as a passenger, deadly if you're driving. Bicycles are right out, I suppose.

Clothing sleeves, pant (trouser) legs, underwear garments, socks, etc. all have one side slightly longer than the other

Thumb and ring finger change places. Opposable ring fingers.

Every time you drink anything or are near running wather youl get splashed in the groin and would look like you peed yourself.

Whether or not there is an object acting upon them, earbuds sporadically jerk out of your ears every few minutes.