Ask Lemmy

Drive errors would pile up on critical systems because they didn't filesystem check themselves before they filesystem wrecked themselves

I catch a Solarbeam to the face!

I'd piss off the wrong person with an excess of style with ease

Either heart goes out during orgy, or torn to shreds by an uprising

Someone will give me really deadly advice over a radio and I will just be like "ok, that sounds legit".

Decomposing at old age in some field snd then a tree grows out of me

SUPPLIES!

Or being thrown out of a second story window during karate lessons.

I just hope I'm on the receiving end.

Snakebite

Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.

Guess I'm a very tasty bug.

Sleeping with the fishes

Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.

Something Volcano related, possibly involving a ring and a couple of short men. One of whom is a goddamn hero.

I will be deleted and no evidence that I ever existed will be found.

In some sketchy den with a khajiit

I dont't know lulz

Dangling a jeep over a cliff while escaping a Mormon bishop.

I probably say something
And it gets me in trouble

Edit:
Hahaha I actually forgot my username and thought I was using one that I use elsewhere, but this still applies exactly the same 🤣😭

Self Explanatory actually.

Jesus Christ, that'll be gruesome...

Raptured by the One True Dog

I am very satisfied with this outcome

By Japanese sword thrust

A remake of Alien but with a meerkat

Mine's pretty open-ended.

I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.

History repeats itself.

No one can tell... (Well maybe)... But I should have seen it coming.

A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.

"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."

mildly, nothing extreme

Furiously stroking my willy.

A Japanese Math Rock band murders me

Killed by a Pictish tribe in scotland

probably something cult related I guess

Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition

Too many pineapples

Death by snu snu? Not really how I wanted to go -- unless it kills both of us.

Derogatory slur

Not sure how I die, but I guess I’m coming back to life after …

I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast

At least I would know what was coming, three would come before me.

After the last and final of many disappearances, rumours grow of a man named Anonymous. No one met him in person, but everyone knew who he was. Over time the stories are embellished and exaggerated, eventually becoming a shorthand for the very concept of anonymity

Details of demise unclear but I'm excited to find out, may need a safe word lol

Hey, somebody left some perfectly good Swiss on this block of wood. How convenient, don’t mind if I d….*

I'm already gone...

Nihilistic fruit

Boiled alive