I wish I was winning round cheeses! TFW too hetero a man to seduce a farmer and get treated like this:
this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
670 points (99.3% liked)
Dad Jokes
15728 readers
828 users here now
Description
This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.
Rules
- Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to !unclejokes@lemmy.world
- Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
- Follow Lemmy.World Code of Conduct
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I like how the URL cuts off the sentence. That’s an even better brand new sentence.
She does look somewhat fascinated in the picture. Confirmed.
Is she pointing at the cheese in the second pic? Is this the new red circle?
It's important for the sense of scale
Are fingers the new bananas?
Is this a question?
*queso-tion
mee to bro:(
He tells her, she needs to gain weight.
The importance of proper punctuation rears its head.
mistakes like this tend to appear in hard to handle situations
Need a knife with full tang!
A long time ago my grandfather had a cheeseboard that had a small cut into it. And a metal bar that went around the outside with a wire that you would pull down to cut through the cheese. It was easier to use than knives and was fairly easy to clean. Similar to this:
Loved the thing
good thing that has a scale on it so you can tell how many cm of cheese you are slicing
Well, it's actually useful if you want consistent sizes.
No idea why that one has that, but I suppose if you want cubes for something, it could make it easier, haha
I think this board would work great with butter too.
Butter packaging comes with the same kind of markings. Usually 50g instead of 1 cm, but I guess you can do the math depending on what you need to slice with a string.
Why does the scale stop on the side after the string? I would have thought you measured what you were slicing by having the scale start after the string and pushing the cheese along the scale over the indent to the length you want and then slicing. Putting it only on the left seems weirdly unhelpful. It'd just tell you what length something was before you sliced it.
Whomever made that one didn't think that through I guess. That's how they used to make portable table saws when I was younger as well. The one he had didn't have those marks it was more like this.
Same premise at the end of the day. Blocks of Muenster, pepper jack, or w.e you like work well with it. We used to take it in a cooler when going fishing. Throw soda for the kids/beer for my grandfather, the cutter, cheese, a couple rolls of crackers and a Pepperoni or salami roll if we were feeling fancy. Top of the cooler works as a makeshift table.
Also press on the top of the knife instead of only using the handle. And cut it on an angle so it's not trying to press down on the whole length at once. And don't try to pull the blade towards the handle (which is usually the ideal way to cut) if you're cutting that much cheese because it grips the entire length of the blade and that might have more force than the handle can handle (heh), like in this case.
Lubricating the blade could help, maybe use a nice chili oil to give the edge a bit of a kick.
Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana
Wait is that second line "Fruit ... flies like a banana" (parabola), or"Fruit flies ... like a banana" (insects)?
That's basically the joke, these sentences look very similar but the structure is very different. And you can even force both reading on both sentences. There isn't much I know about time flies but apparently they prefer arrows.
WHERE IS THE PARALLELOPIPED CULTURED DAIRY?!
Cuboid
Rectangular
Umm...
Dogular
Why I knew it was Cathedral city cheese of all 😅
I found it too crumbly when slicing so now buy Pilgrim's Choice instead.
It's round, but it fits fully within a voxel.
Everyone, do yourself a favour and get a Cheese slicer. This is standard equipment in any Swedish kitchen, and they are really convenient. You can pick up a basic one from IKEA for very little money, and I don't think you're ever going to use a knife again for cutting cheese after that.
Swiss here, they only work on hard cheese, not on gum cheese. And they are more to make cheese sandwich-sized, not to cut it.
Btw, you can also use your peeler for that.