Asklemmy

For me, I needed a therapist and meds. I was walking, gardening, had hobbies, biked for transportation, meditated. Sometimes you need chemicals to fix a chemical problem.

I don't think you can. This is part of depression: never feeling motivated to do things. My life improved when I began to think like this, because I stopped wasting energy worrying about how to find motivation and how terrible it is that I don't want to do things.

Instead, I followed a few simple rules that seemed to help:

• If I didn't want to do anything, I tried doing stupid administrative work that required no creativity. Cleaning the house. Scanning receipts. Anything that would suck, but at least feel easy to do.
• If I had the impulse to do anything, I did it. Even if it wasn't important. Even if it meant not doing something else important. I just did it. For me, that was often reading, but sometimes it was something creative.
• If I felt good, I didn't have to do any kind do work. I sometimes just enjoyed feeling good for a few minutes or an hour or whatever.

This way, I felt less guilty for feeling good and not working and I felt less guilty for wanting to do something that wasn't important. Gradually, I felt better about my situation. Motivation to do some creative work eventually followed.

I don't know how well this fits your situation, but maybe something in here could help you.

Good luck.

Anything worth doing is worth doing badly...

If you want to go for a run, or go to the gym, but can't find the spoons to do so, then do it badly instead of not doing at all. Maybe do some laps around your lounge or walk out to your front yard and back again, and call that good enough.

Haven't showered and feel like you should, but just can't? Rather than skipping it completely, do it badly. Wash your face and brush your teeth instead, and call that good enough.

I can relate. I'm going to go outside now and listen to something on youtube while I walk. It's an easy way to be active. Just listen to something interesting and you just keep walking. I have suggestions for fiction and non-fiction to just get you outside moving.

It's hard for me at the moment, because it's winter, bad weather, and I can't go out and have fun on my bmx. In the summer.. it's bliss. I put on some music and just ride aimlessly around the city. I do it for hours. It's exercise but it doesn't feel like it. And if I'm using my muscles I don't have time to be depressed.

I'll keep it short so it's easy to read and get some inspiration. DM me if you need any more info on the above.

Brother. It's not an easy fix. Where do you find it? Inside of you. Move. Force it. Keep forcing it. You have to. Til it's a habit and not forced.

Anything new is about building on actions. This could be learning to cook, play a guitar, play a video game, interacting with strangers, going for a walk, etc. Nothing is accomplished at once aside from the small steps you set for yourself.

So, set low expectations for yourself, practice the thing you want to get good at, and have hope that you’ll gain momentum and success.

This is actually something I’m practicing as much as I’m preaching. I started waking around the block, then about one mile. I work from home so I was experiencing pain from sitting around in weird positions all day. I could feel the benefits of walking. As I started to walk a little more, I started to lose some weight. Awesome! So now my motivation is to counteract sitting around all day as much as it is to fit in my old cloths and feel good about myself. I’m now waking about 4-5 miles a day.

For me though, to be honest, it’s about my physical well being. I’m not really feeling a huge improvement in my mental health. There is some improvement but not terribly much. I use a watch to track my activity so tracking and building on those records is something.

The thing I’m currently overcoming is not wanting to walk. It happened today. I was exhausted and not feeling motivated at all. But I went for a walk anyway. Everything melts away after about 1.5 miles for me. My speed increases, my focus is directed, my stress is relived, my goal becomes apparent. Tell yourself to fuck off and go for a walk for at least one mile. Then try to add 1/2 mile to that. And then 1/2 mile to that. Accomplishing these little goals ia rewarding and helps with depression. You accomplished more than you set out to do. You rock!!

Lots of great comments here. If you want to start doing something like exercise then it's great to set little goals. Even 10 minutes is still 10 more minutes than 0. Give yourself the grace to work up to more. It might take you awhile and that's ok. You are doing these things for you and not anyone else. You don't need to feel guilty for taking a day off either.

Also - if you are dealing with depression or other things then I would highly recommending finding resources to help you deal with that. There's no shame in that and sometimes people need help to manage these things. Best wishes!

Have you thought of journaling? It might help to get some of your ideas out and feel like you're expressing yourself. You could find a template for a mental health journal specifically, or just keep a blank notebook nearby and write down any rants you feel compelled to.

For motivation, ymmv, but I think the key is to make routines and habits. If you make more things automatic with a set schedule or general time of day, it won't take as much mental energy to keep doing it. Example, if you always go for a walk after waking up, eventually it'll just be a box to tick instead of an actual decision that uses up your executive functioning "spoons"

And seconding the "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" sentiment. If you can make it to 25% of something (example: got to the gym but felt too tired/awkward/nervous to actually work out), count that as a tick. Getting out of the house is worth a point too. Your best looks different every day.

Go for a walk. Choose a park, some woods, or just your neighborhood to start. You don't need to start working out to feel better, just start moving.

If it helps, I’ve been saddled with pretty severe depression/anxiety/panic attacks for a very long time as well, and I want to tell you- I can absolutely agree that exercise helps. And- I totally relate to the whole motivation thing. A few years ago, my mother came to visit us in the PNW. She’s from Florida. So… big trip! Anyway, I was a lazy sad couch potato prior to her coming, but because of all the things we planned to do with her… we had to walk- EVERYWHERE.

11 days of walking. Seemingly non-stop. Even up Mt. Rainier. It was brutal!

Now I’ll add that I had gotten myself an Apple Watch on the 7th or 8th day she was here (because I had always wanted one and was approved for an apple credit card) and found the heath tracking features to be fascinating. That certainly helped pique my interest in moving around more, it it certainly isn’t required. I’d have done it without one.

Digress-

By the time she left, I had gotten so much exercise that I was over the initial “I hate this shit” part- the endorphins were flowing, and I was looking forward to my walks every day. Like…. Almost obsessively.

The point of this is- change sucks sometimes. Especially when we aren’t feeling our best. But exercise is a change in a incredibly good direction. And I promise that If you can get over the initial hump of “I hate this shit”(I suggest with a good distraction), and you can manage to keep at it for a week or so, you’ll get to the point that you actually WANT to do it.

On distractions…. Try podcasts. They are a HUGE help to keep your mind focused away from the initial suckyness. Personally, I find my favorite tv show rewatch podcasts the best at this. (Parks and Rec, The Office, New Girl, etc…)

You can do this. I promise.

And when you do, I want you to message me and let me know how much better you’re feeling about things.

Hang in there!

One day when you go to get the mail, walk a little bit extra - half a block. The next day try to go a little further - one more house or building. Day by day try to make it part of your routine. Or, maybe find a friend who will meet you twice a week for coffee and a chat? Sometimes you'll do things for other people that you won't do for yourself.

Pat an animal. I pat my guinea pigs and it motivates me to do things because these Lil guys need me to go to work so they can eat.

Hi.

I have crippling anxiety and get regular panic attacks. As a guy it took me years to come to a point where I accepted help. I got help. I am glad I did. Meds helped a ton. I know anxiety and panic issues are not depression.

You need to want to get help. Motivation comes gradually from that. If you want someone to talk to, hit me up. I'll listen. It does get better. I promise you that. It just takes some work.