this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

But a federal judge in Texas ordered a hearing into how the Onion – known for bite – won the bidding, after Jones and his lawyers raised questions about how the auction was conducted.

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, seems like there was some behind the scenes work so that the onion could buy it, we'll see if it stands up in the (I assume deeply corrupt...) bankruptcy court. God, I hope it does....

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 hours ago

It's not some secret, I think it was in the AP reporting. The victims took a lower offer for the asset from The Onion because they didn't want it to continue to spread hate.

[–] demizerone@lemmy.world 10 points 14 hours ago

The hilarious part is infowars.com is going to troll Alex Jones new site so hard.

[–] late_night@sopuli.xyz 117 points 1 day ago (2 children)

“The Onion is proud to acquire Infowars, and we look forward to continuing its storied tradition of scaring the site’s users with lies until they fork over their cold, hard cash,” said The Onion CEO Ben Collins. “Or Bitcoin. We will also accept Bitcoin.”

This is gold.

[–] Tja@programming.dev 7 points 18 hours ago

Probably accept that, too!

[–] JoYo@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 day ago

Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I'm being a lazy sack. I skimmed the article but didn't find an amount they won it for, has anyone seen how much they just paid the man who needs to pay his dues?

[–] DokPsy@lemmy.world 12 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

They paid him nothing. The auction was for the settlement of debts in bankruptcy court. Basically, the courts seized his assets including Infowars and auctioned them off to cover the outstanding debts owed.

Per NPR: The sale, which still needs to be approved by a bankruptcy judge, includes Jones' studio and equipment, his lucrative online nutritional supplement store, domain names, customer lists and some of his social media accounts.

So it'll be fun when all settled

[–] polarpear11@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

Oh fuck yeah let me get my popcorn. Peice of shit deserves all that.

[–] don@lemm.ee 63 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In order to make the bid work, the families “agreed to forgo a portion of their recovery to increase the overall value of The Onion’s bid, enabling its success,” the families said in a statement.

The power of unity and determination beautifully demonstrated.

[–] demizerone@lemmy.world 13 points 14 hours ago

That is also one of they ways we can stop gun violence. Bring back the sense of community and being one people. Also common sense gun reforms.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 120 points 1 day ago (4 children)

My absolute favorite part of this is that they also own his supplement business now.

[–] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 16 points 12 hours ago

As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 50 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I spent about ten minutes trying to figure out if this was just an Onion headline ..... only to realize it is indeed an Onion headline ... this is beautiful

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Everything about this brings me joy. I was hoping it would be Cards Against Humanity, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is even better.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I was hoping it would be Knowledge Fight and they’d just subtly transform the content, so as to wean the existing audience into actual facts (e: Dan does a helluvan Alex impression), but the schadenfreude here is very nice.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 day ago (3 children)

His supplement business was under the same business ownership? That's preposterously stupid and hilarious.

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 2 points 14 hours ago

They might have bid on both.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not an MBA why is this a bad idea?

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 5 points 13 hours ago

He kept his two income streams tied together, so that when one ran into trouble it took the other one down with it. He could have just as easily kept the business separate and potentially been able to keep one of the income streams working when the shit hit the fan.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm not exactly shocked he was that stupid, but yeah, that made me laugh the hardest.

He's been very transparent in his attempts to move stuff around, telling his audience exactly what he's been up to.

[–] Fester@lemm.ee 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Isn't it usually sugar? (With a big helping of snake oil.)

[–] houstoneulers@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

Honestly, it's the perfect platform b/c it was already filled with joke level insight.

[–] billiam0202@lemmy.world 73 points 1 day ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (2 children)

I love that

They're turning the freaking frogs gay!

is now officially an Onion story.

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 14 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Also that was the only conspiracy he covered that was slightly grounded in reality. The atrazine poisoning was hermaphrodizing the frogs. Of course more regulation to stop pollution is not a solution that dumbfuck jones would support..:

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the fricking frogs trans

[–] Breezy@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago

No no, that water was for all our illegal immigrants in prison.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] NotSteve_@lemmy.ca 5 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

My favourite is the Indie Folk song version: https://youtu.be/KGAAhzreGWw

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 2 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] renzev@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

Thanks. Lemmy.world should get a bot going for this or something.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

That’s amazing! But fuck it for putting naked Alex Jones in my head. I was hoping to sleep peacefully tonight.

[–] NotSteve_@lemmy.ca 2 points 17 hours ago
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[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

As a policy wonk I feel that this was the correct buyer. Damn, it couldn't be funnier. The Onion now owns Alex Jones' former twitter account.

[–] joby@programming.dev 2 points 18 hours ago

Right? I haven't listened to knowledge fight in a minute, but I'm sure looking for their upcoming episodes.

Love to see it!

It would be great if The Onion could use this site to help grow an information platform to counter the Rights enormous disinformation network. And using satire or jokes can maybe break through the noise of main stream media who always treat the fascists with kid gloves.

[–] Telorand@reddthat.com 34 points 1 day ago (3 children)

LFG!

I wonder if they would be willing to gift the desk to Knowledge Fight...? I know Dan has wished he could get his hands on that for a long time.

That was my first thought as well! Just gift something from the set to Knowledge Fight.

[–] SGforce@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 day ago

Hell, they could full on partner up

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[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Just when the country needed a laugh the most, The Onion went and did the funniest thing they could possibly do. This is a wonderful morning.

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (4 children)

So the families gave up a pile of money in order to back The Onion's bid and make sure Jones wasn't just reinstalled doing the same shit as before under the Infowars banner. Wonder who the shitbirds were that made a 7-figure offer to do that fuckery? I wonder if it rhymes with Felon Tusk?

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[–] Omega_Jimes@lemmy.ca 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Time to start working on my alternative writing personality, trans socialist Jordane Petersburg. Or should I be Bo Rogaine?

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Be sure to give your self a military background as an antifa paratrooper super soldier. Maybe get a J6er as the pfp.

I hope they do what the Colbert Report did, keep the inforwars name and let it be a right wing lampooning.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 day ago

I will gladly eat that onion.

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