this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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I am supportive of you being Canadian

top 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 108 points 1 month ago (6 children)

"What's your gender?"

"Canadian."

"No, who do you like?"

"Donuts."

"No no, what's in your pants?"

"Polite manners."

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

"No, no, I'm talking about your genitals."

"Oh, you mean Tim Horton's?"

[–] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Fun fact: timbits were named so in honour of his fatal drunk driving car accident.

[–] Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"what's in your pants?"

"a party you're not invited to"

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

"a hockey knife"

[–] andshit@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Doughnuts**

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As a Canadian, I know you are American from your spelling of doughnuts.

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Surprise, I'm both!

[–] phx@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago
[–] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 50 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

We are sorry to hear you are disappointed with the Canadian gender identity. Please hold if you wish to express your concerns to one of our agents. Alternatively, courses on the benefits and challenges of being Canadian and what it means to be hockeysexual are available in English and French. Completion of the course grants access to free-but-slow healthcare and a $25 Tim Hortons gift card.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Please hold if you wish to express your disappointment to one of our agents.

I just want to say replacing fig leaves with maple leaves is rough because it leaves a bunch of sticky on your junk.

[–] SurfinBird@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maple syrup on your junk is a proud Canadian Thanksgiving tradition.

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

I was sick and family was busy. So I missed thanksgiving this year.

[–] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

pour le service en français, appuyez sur le 2

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Why isn't the first option?

[–] muyessir@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Huge missed opportunity: could have been God made Adam and Eve, not Maple and Leaf

[–] connaisseur@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago
[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 month ago

There is no such thing as 'Canadian', it's just a phase!

[–] Moose@moose.best 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Pretty sure he did say Adam and Moose.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hey, Adam; watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think he said moose and squirrel!

[–] letsgo@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Naah, Moose came later, he was the chap who came down from a mountain with a couple of iPads, then drove out of the desert in a Triumph, or something like that.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Book of Mormon is a wild ride.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago

No spoilers please!

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Wasn't she on YCDTOTV?

[–] militaryintelligence@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My pronouns are Canadian/Eh

[–] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm guessing this is not a required demographic question in Canada.

[–] micka190@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Might be a case where Canadian applicants submit another form that has the relevant information in a different format too.

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 10 points 1 month ago

LGBTQIAC

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Intersex Asexual Canadian

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I called out a form and one of the options was for diet. The choices were:

Omnivore, Vegetarian, Vogon.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

those scintillating, jeweled, scuttling crabs are good though.

[–] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Just don’t allow them to recite poetry at you

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I'm an American. I actually like America, for what it's worth. Canada, however, has the superior anthem.

[–] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 1 month ago

One assumes it's either customary or law not to ask if it's not relevant.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Is this Windows95?

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Our country reeks of trees / our Yaks are really large

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

And they smell like rotting beefcarcasses.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Probably just a cut and paste error, still funny.