this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

That's where you're wrong: for nature's pocket can still be picked and it doesn't even need to be full to do so

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 40 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 day ago

Nature's pocket

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 4 points 1 day ago

Just keep it sealed tight

[–] MIDItheKID@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

I prefer the term "Keister stash"

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean, I guess it depends on where he's keeping his phone while nude. He might enjoy a little nude pickpocketing, if he's open minded, and the pickpocket has sufficient lube

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago

It does leave your flesh pockets awfully exposed

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I keep my keys in my prison pocket. Along with my phone. And my wallet. And my EDC pocket knife. And a Leatherman. And a Moleskin and a couple of pens. And a tactical flashlight. And a small first aid kit.

I do walk a bit funny though.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So, like, which one goes in first? And if you need that, do you have to pull everything else out of your pocket to get to it?

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nah, they go in any order and then you just kind of... rootle around in there.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 1 points 1 day ago

Cool, cool cool cool... your pocket knife isn't spring-assisted is it? or a gravity knife?

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Which tactics do you employ with that flashlight?

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 7 points 1 day ago

Strike hard, strike first, show no mercy!

[–] 58008@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is why I keep my front door key in my foreskin. Either I evade the pickpocket, or I make a new friend. I cannot lose.

As a younger man, I was able to unlock the door hands-free. These days, I need to fish the key out of my floppy beige KKK hood like a sock trapped in a duvet cover on laundry day.

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I call this comment, the "58008's Wild Ride"

[–] harmsy@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

Mr. Skeltal's was worse.

Edit: I misremembered the meme. It was Mr. Bones. Doot doot.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 1 points 3 hours ago

You thank mr skeltal for helping you get off mr bones wild ride.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Bro needs to do some manscaping on his eyebrows for real fam, no cap.

[–] MelastSB@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

You're just jealous

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

On jah the Rizzler is going to flush this bozo down the skibidi toilet.

[–] nonentity@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

…he enjoys it.

[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago

"Hold my bear" I wispered, reaching for my kitchen tongs

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah but what about nutkicking, then?

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago

Simple, just get into cbt

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Jokes on you, I keep my bills rolled in my foreskin.