this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 55 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney

[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 20 points 4 weeks ago

Error: undefined reference 'money'

[–] No_Support_8363@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago

Syntax Error, line 1: ‘moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney’ is not defined

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 52 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

"I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE

I mean this is correct though

[–] stingpie@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Recursion makes it cheaper to run in the dev's mind, but more expensive to run on the computer. Subroutines are always slower than a simple jump.

[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

Recursion makes it cheaper to run in the dev's mind, but more expensive to run on the computer.

Maybe for a Haskell programmer, divide-and-conquer algorithms, or walking trees. But for everything else, I'm skeptical of it being easier to understand than a stack data structure and a loop.

[–] xavier666@lemm.ee 3 points 4 weeks ago

Dynamic programming: Heyyy...

[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, you have to be pretty deranged to mix multithreading and recursion together.

[–] hedgehog@ttrpg.network 33 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

while (true) { print money; }

Someone’s never heard of Bitcoin

[–] No_Support_8363@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

if print-money == false then mine-bitcoin;

[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 17 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Optimizing CPU usage by 0.02% is something only the truly deranged do

[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 11 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Not necessarily. It depends on what you're optimizing, the impact of the optimizations, the code complexity tradeoffs, and what your goal is.

Optimizing many tiny pieces of a compiler by 0.02% each? It adds up.

Optimizing a function called in an O(n^2^) algorithm by 0.02%? That will be a lot more beneficial than optimizing a function called only once.

Optimizing some high-level function by dropping into hand-written assembly? No. Just no.

[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

0.02% means you’re saving a fraction of a second for every hour of runtime. A lot of adding up is required to make it significant enough for anyone to notice.

Better to spend that time and effort on things that actually bring value. These kind of micro optimizations can also make the code unnecessarily complicated and difficult to work with, which is a hindrance for the optimizations that truly matter.

[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

In a single one-off program or something that's already fast enough to not take more than a few seconds—yeah, the time is spent better elsewhere.

I did mention for a compiler, specifically, though. They're CPU bottlenecked with a huge number of people or CI build agents waiting for it to run, which makes it a good candidate for squeezing extra performance out in places where it doesn't impact maintainability. 0.02% here, 0.15% there, etc etc, and even a 1% total improvement is still a couple extra seconds of not sitting around and waiting per Jenkins build.

Also keep in mind that adding features or making large changes to a compiler is likely bottlenecked by bureaucracy and committee, so there's not much else to do.

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 11 points 4 weeks ago

I saw an article last week about a one-liner they were adding to the Linux kernel that would reduce the startup time by .03 seconds, and let me tell you, I was relieved.

[–] vext01@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 4 weeks ago
[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 17 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Did the person writing this have a stroke?

[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 8 points 4 weeks ago

They certainly do like to use the word "in" a lot.

[–] AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world 13 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm a senior dev and I'll be honest: I'm not sure what I do.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 25 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

You enchant rocks engraved with runes

[–] gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Computer programmers are the wizards of the present.

[–] dgriffith@aussie.zone 4 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

There was a series of books in the '80s where a systems programmer gets pulled through a portal into your typical magical world, good vs evil, etc.

They subsequently look at the magical spells in use and realise they can apply Good Systems Programming Practices™ to them. And thus, with their knowledge of subroutines and parallel processing, they amplify their tiny innate magical abilities up to become a Pretty Good Magician™. So while all the rest of the magicians basically have to construct their spells to execute in a linear fashion, they're making magical subroutines and utility functions and spawning recursive spells without halting checks and generally causing havoc.

It's quite a good allegory for modern times, where a select few build all the magic and the rest just have useful artefacts they use on a day to day basis with no idea how they work

[–] makr_alland@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

That sounds very interesting, do you remember the name or the author?

[–] 418_im_a_teapot@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I take offense to the teapot joke. Leave the teapots out of it.

[–] XanderBrendon@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

Tell that to Don Norman.

[–] Emmie@lemmings.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

The angle between my chin and my lip corner has increased. Thank you.

[–] ericbomb@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago

Jokes on you, the Fed has been running that bottom program for years.

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

This is a butchered rip off of an actual joke.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 40 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I mean, that's what a meme template is, yes.

[–] unreliable@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

What scares me, is that this can really not be a joke

Except the teapot. The teapot is highly valuable.

[–] n3cr0@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

I think I had enough Internet for today.

[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

OK. I guess it's time to go start my rutabaga farm now.

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 5 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Oh is that kinda like a raspberry or orange pi farm?

Sounds kinda RISCy in this economy...

[–] ReakDuck@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, better use something that isn't ARM

(In germany, arm means poor)

[–] Live_your_lives@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)

What's the teapot a reference to?

[–] AlbinoPython@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

I can't not read this in Ron Swanson's voice.

[–] funbreaker@piefed.social 3 points 3 weeks ago

But we had to program the computer for it to be able to do math in the first place?

Why is it that 5 minutes before bed time when I'm really tired do I have the urge to fire up a C tutorial?

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 2 points 4 weeks ago

All this computer stuff is a complete useless scam for sure.