Ask Lemmy

When I was late teens and early twenties, I kept getting propositioned by gay guys. It started to bother me - I've never been in any way homophobic, but I've also never been attracted to men - and I started to worry that there was some vibe I gave off that made people think I was gay.

Then I mentioned it to a gay guy who I knew, and he said that the vibe I give off is of someone who isn't judgemental and who wouldn't react badly to being asked. Maybe there's something similar or analogous to your situation.

Edit: propositioned, not preposition

Maybe stop wearing that 🍍 shirt.

Normal, but not common.

You're probably hot and cool.

I've asked people to join threesomes before, and I ask hot and cool people with style.

I also suspect that if you're above average in looks to the point that not only are you aware of it but people have regularly commented on it, you're probably smoking hot or at least attractive with great style.

congrats!

#humblebrag

It's 2024, people are more open minded to things that aren't cis monogamous relationships, and you may just be seeing the results of that as a "slightly" above average attractive man.

P.s. you might be in the sweet spot of attractive. Better looking than most, but still approachable. It takes balls to ask a George Clooney type for a 4 way.

This happens to me a lot and the reason I think it does is because I'm good looking enough that the woman could potentially get herself in the mindset that I'm attractive but not so good looking or masculine that I intimidate her existing boyfriend. I'm in that sweet spot of approachable non-judgmental, in decent shape, good attitude, kinky predilections, and I can make people laugh.

I have been approached double digits number of times which led me down the same thought path as you.

For me it's happened twice overtly and I suspect once that didn't become an explicit request. I'm vocally monogamous, I'm not very social, and I'm still kinda young so I feel like those numbers are pretty high. For me I feel like it's how I present myself and act, which is pretty stereotypically "queer." Once that gets picked up on by other couples I think they seem more interested.

I can't say it's common, and wouldn't ever have considered asking some random good looking guy to join us, but straight guy MFM is probably more common than you think. When men on the internet talk about threesomes they seem to be thinking about 2 women, but I've only done the other kind and it seems like way more fun - I'm straight so nothing really exciting about adding another woman, but two guys? So many things you can do whether they are into each other or not.

I do think it's more common for couples to approach women though, as I have been propositioned by couples and probably all women have.

What about me could make me attractive to swinger couples?

Probably

As far as physical attractiveness, I would say I'm slightly above average based on what women have told me and how they treat me.

Although, I was considered handsome as a younger man, and I've never been propositioned by swingers. I guess my attitude might have had something to do with that. I was a bad boy, and generally trouble. I did get propositioned by gay men a lot. Idk what's up with that.

Interesting. Just as a single datapoint, I have been well above average of attractiveness some parts of my life for women. Have never been proposed this. Guess how males perceive you is also important. I have been approached by gay men few times. No conclusions I can make :)

Donald from Benidorm would like to - know your location

It wasn’t unusual when I used to go out when I was younger. I don’t really know why people would ask me, or, rather, what made people think it was OK to ask me. I did take them up on it once in a while.

Guy came here to brag about his bodycount.