this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 48 comments
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[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 114 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Take another rip while throwing up the horns, establish dominance

[–] Exusia@lemmy.world 71 points 3 weeks ago

"Its one of those days Amy, I don't care"

[–] sunzu@kbin.run 88 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

CNN guy jerked off on camera on Teevee...

And kept his job haha

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 43 points 3 weeks ago

"Nice dick, bro"

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I think it was in a work group zoom meeting, not actually on the air.

[–] sunzu@kbin.run 15 points 3 weeks ago

they just showed it after on teevee, apologies... you are prolly right lol

[–] maynarkh@feddit.nl 10 points 3 weeks ago

Researcher dude at my uni was grading thesis defenses during the pandemic Donald Duck style on Zoom, forgot the camera, stood up and flipped a dick into someone's life defining stressful moment.

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 49 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Roses are red

Your camera is on

And everyone saw you

Hit a bong

🫰 🫰 🫰 🫰 🫰

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 45 points 3 weeks ago

Man fuck video chat

[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 45 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Had a moment like this a few months back. But I don't smoke weed and everyone just got to watch me eat granola.

[–] dditty@lemm.ee 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I live alone and have a bad habit of verbalizing my thoughts; my worst nightmare is accidentally forgetting to mute myself while saying some inane shit into the call

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I used to do this constantly but I had to break myself out of the habit. On long drives, I'd forget I would have passengers and blurt out half a sentence before realizing.

It also led my step mother to try and convince my dad I was schizophrenic at the time since I would do it in the house as well when I thought no one was around.

Mildly annoying since it was just an easy way to think things through, I never saw it as a bad habit.

[–] dditty@lemm.ee 4 points 3 weeks ago

I agree that I think it is fine to speak one's thoughts aloud, but since most(?) people have negative reactions to it I do consider it a bad habit. Fortunately no one has reacted to me doing it as strongly as your step mom to you! Sorry you had to go through that.

[–] NeptuneOrbit@lemmy.world 43 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 12 points 3 weeks ago

My shisha broke guys

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 41 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

During the beginning of COVID, I was on a group zoom interview, and saw someone hit a bong. I believe the hiring manager didn't see it, and they got hired.

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 weeks ago

Hiring manager low-key looking for the hookup

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 weeks ago

Way before COVID I got hired at a bank the same time as another dude who was "off" about one week in we both show up except he was high as a fucking kite. He got escorted out then and there.

Like wtf my dude you're here to do a job show some respect!

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 35 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The best thing to use is "Magic Tape" to cover your camera. It adds a frosted window effect while not disturbing your screen's brightness adjustment feature.

[–] zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 102 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

If your computer uses the camera for ambient light sensing instead of a separate sensor, they definitely fucked up building it.

[–] agressivelyPassive@feddit.de 31 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The sensors are usually pretty close to the camera, so the chances of taping over it are relatively high.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

tape over it and set your brightness by hand.

[–] 3ntranced@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Brightness has another option other than maximum? Contrast and black point my lads.

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

Unfortunately doesn't work on LCDs, your black point also goes up

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 2 points 3 weeks ago

lol i even downloaded some FOSS program to dim my PC screens at night. My eyes have gotten light-sensitive as age...

[–] histic@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yes but I would like my eyes to not be seared off at night

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Wait is that what those little holes do???

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There's usually 3 or 4 holes.

Camera lens, light sensor and microphone.

I did helpdesk during the pandemic and the number of tickets for "poor microphone quality" was insane. Most people used tape or bandaids to cover the camera... And microphone

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

The real reason for shitty microphone quality is using the shitty microphone that comes with your laptop. Get a decent wireless headset with a mute button on it and you can move around your house during meetings while still sounding way better than you would be sitting in front of it using the laptop mic.

[–] agressivelyPassive@feddit.de 3 points 3 weeks ago

Yes. Usually you have a brightness and sometimes also a proximity sensor. Proximity is usually used for phones so they can deactivate the screen if you hold the phone like an actual phone against your ear.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I have not had one like that in a while but some cheap models did. Looking at you Toshiba Satellite.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 3 points 3 weeks ago

Several smartphones do this too.

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's a pretty good recovery, worth a try when you're 'on the ropes'

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago

Make sure to throw around the phrase "reasonable accomodation" a bit.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 16 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Bonus points if it's about 3 feet long like the one the stoner in Cabin in the Woods has.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 15 points 3 weeks ago

Back in the day one of my friends had just the most gigantic glass bong I've ever seen. It was too long to smoke and reach the bowl to light by yourself at the same time. Typical use was one person lit, the other person draws, no smoke had reached them yet so the lighter stops, smoker had to empty their lungs then try to clear the whole thing in one go. If there were enough people you could get the bowl going and pass it around the circle fast enough to keep it lit

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I've been on the lookout for a convertible travel mug/telescoping bong ever since that movie came out.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That thing was my favorite part of the movie. At least until I saw the rest of it.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 3 points 3 weeks ago

Love the shot of him locking his car door through the open window before checking the handle.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 weeks ago

I think such a thing is like a lightsaber. Building your own is a rite of passage.

[–] solomon42069@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

It's ok, if you're in IT this is actually a requirement to stop the blood lust.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

If you seek Amy, I think I'd like that.

[–] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social -4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Here's Thomas. After managing to get in the same company as his first Girlfriend, still getting caught playing hookey. This time on camera.

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

[–] Exusia@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not sure I understand your comment

[–] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

No problem.
It's supposed to be a reference to an old novel.