this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 95 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Depends on if you're a tits or an ass guy, I guess?

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

Pack it in guys this is the comment.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 36 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Help them save each other, watch the donkey suck her off.

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[–] majestictechie@lemmy.fosshost.com 28 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I don't remember this scene in Shrek

[–] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

That's because it was part of a scrapped movie in the franchise. It wad going to be called Shrek's choice with Shrek being played by Meryl Streep

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[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Can I save both but reject both offers? Because I can see value in them as very unique individuals but I'm not really into mules or women with bigger dicks than me.

[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Who says their dick is bigger? Maybe they have a smaller dick... would you be into it then?

[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 22 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You can just tell, trust me. Professional dick predictor and gait reader, worked in physical rehabilitation for years. I can also smell thyroid disease.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hypo or hyper? Because personally, I'm not getting hyperthyroidism from that photo and I don't know what hypothyroidism looks like.

[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 11 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I didn't mean I smelt it in this image, just in general I can smell it. A bit off topic but I noticed you're a little low on Vitamin K, is it a dietary concern or have you recently used a blood thinner?

[–] Praxis@yiffit.net 7 points 3 months ago

Omg omg do me next

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[–] Holzkohlen@feddit.de 19 points 3 months ago (12 children)

Saving the woman sounds like a huge W. This is the easiest choice of my life, what are you on about?

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[–] Klnsfw@lemmynsfw.com 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Making a link between zoophilia and sexual relationships with a queer person, how original!

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[–] Liz@midwest.social 16 points 3 months ago (18 children)

A donkey is ill-equipped to give even a passable blowjob.

[–] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's a speaking donkey so don't assume standard donkey laryngeal and//or oral anatomy

[–] MewtwoLikesMemes@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Hehe you said "oral".

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[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 11 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Ace people: Guess you'll die then...

[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I mean I'm sure some ace people like to engage in sexual activity. Sexual attraction and libido are different.

[–] GiveMemes@jlai.lu 4 points 3 months ago

I've talked to an ace guy abt this and he tried to masturbate as a teen and literally couldn't get hard. He's into romantic stuff tho. Everybody's different I'm sure tho

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[–] don@lemm.ee 10 points 3 months ago

Drink more, then wake up with a nasty hangover, and think about how you should’ve hydrated while drinking.

Water is the universal solvent.

[–] Norgur@fedia.io 8 points 3 months ago (6 children)

That's more like a gamified Rorschach test. If you need sexual rewards to decide whether you should save a human life instead of the life of unprocessed salami, you are a psychopath.

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 16 points 3 months ago

But this "unprocessed salami" can speak. Kinda puts them on level playing field.
Unless, of course, salami is voiced by Eddie Murphy, in which case it's an easy pick.

[–] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But the unprocessed Salami will suck my dick. So

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But the human will let you suck her dick. So

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, but I've already done that. So

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] growingentropy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 months ago

I have yet to meet the random animal that I dislike more than the average human.

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)

You might be taking the internet too seriously

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[–] s_s@lemmy.one 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

\3. Ride the Shai-Hulud to destiny.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 months ago

Ehhhh I'll save the donkey, use it to pull out the woman, and then no sexual favors will happen. They're both gonna be carrying some shit though, free labor.

[–] CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Fuck it, i'll save her...might clear some things up lol

[–] leaveWitX@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Choose the first one, a talking donkey

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[–] deadlyduplicate@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I'm curious

[–] itsnicodegallo@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I'll never understand why low res images like this always have half the text cropped off. I get why it's done when they're conveniently censoring something, but...ugh. :(

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Making bad crops is part of the post-ironic meme meta

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[–] BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What if I save her and we go for a coffee or something?

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[–] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

The Shrek paradox

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