Mental Health

Oh this happened to me last year, minus some details and add some others. Hope someone here has some advice because 988 didn't help and I gotta stop crying before lunch is over

Edit actually here's some advice I'm giving myself: see a therapist because internet strangers don't know shit

2000 applications without a job says either resume is poorly done or you're bad at interviews. If the callback rate is less than 1 in 20, improve the resume, otherwise improve your interview skills.

Hit the gym so your brain starts thinking better, also it obviously helps with a lot of downward feelings.

My only bit of advice to offer is to modify your resume to make yourself look slightly less experienced and willing to take a lower role.

Tech industry is tough right now. Keep your head up. Things will ease.

I was unemployed for nearly a year recently. IT work is inundated with talent pool bc of the FAANG downsizing about a year ago. . It's coming back but slowly.

Sounds like you're depressed which has the awesome side effect of altering how you would typically approach and perform in an interview - not in an ideal way. Being cognizant of that may help. Maybe you're not but I know when I had the numbers you're talking about sending resumes etc, I was pretty down. Each rejection took a little toll. Maybe try changing your resume up a bit, and practice soft skills for interviewing? Might help take time away from feeling bad about it-which I get.

Sending good vibes to you. Vent away.

I'm in tech. Have been for 20 years. Lemme get a look at that resume. After, you can call me and we talk. Maybe I can find where you're falling out.

If you respond well to ideas, I found the Chinese philosophical text the Zhuangzi comforting when life is filled with negative changes.

It's encourages remembering that the world operates at multiple scales, that human concerns are just one scale, and has a lot to say about coping with inevitable and unexpected transformations. Even in translation it's sparkling - witty, brilliant, silly and logical.

But I know not everyone finds comfort in words.

I was in a similar position a while ago. Left my marriage of 10 years due to it becoming toxic and abusive. Lost my job, house, car Etc.

The thing I've learnt is that life is long and a lot can change over a couple of years.

You just have to keep pushing on and things will resolve themselves eventually.

That's not to say it's easy. But it's completely doable. You'll look back in 5 years time and wonder what all the fuss was about.

To add to what someone else said, try to get some exercise. It can be free, and your brain needs some endorphins in there to help counteract all that pain. It won't be a solution or anything, but it can help a little with the symptoms. Jogging, a pushup/situp regimen, whatever works for you. Can kinda give you a physical outlet for some of the pain sometimes.

Good luck.

You haven't lost it all, and I know some people who are in worse positions than you. Maybe it's bad to compare though because when you compare yourself to... Well other or your past self, it's not really a good thing or a path to positivity.

I recognize that the broad economy for IT has degenerated in the past year, and as a fellow technology professional it worries me too about this situation. I don't think people would consider 'just' 6 months outside of work in a tech downturn to be too much of a black mark on the resume. I've certainly have seen worse.

Support, both financial government support, and family support, are needed in these situations to help you out. In my example for people I know, living in with family/friends is a big $$$ saver and can provide the runway you need to fly again. EDIT: In this case, the family environment for this individual was toxic, so his healing didn't really help until we (his friends) took him into a spare bedroom / etc. etc. Even a loving family could be toxic and unhelpful to growth.

When you combine this toxic family + PTSD (two tours to Iraq 2003 war), this healing period realistically takes years. But as I said before, I dont think you are in that bad of a situation so I'd think you'd get better faster than my friend did. But even after multiple years, he leans on me and my family for a degree of support.

I don't think internet help is very good or useful. But hopefully you can find someone in your social group who can offer you the support you need right now. Dont feel ashamed, we all need a pickup every now and then. Don't try to do everything yourself. If no one in your social group can offer long-term support and help, that's another unlucky turn and I'd compare you to one of my uncles who lived through his 30s / 40s in a similar boat as yours but had to pull himself out of it by himself (or at least, grandma wasn't very supportive and was probably counterproductive to his healing). There's just too many unknowns to fully understand your situation over the internet, so I really doubt my ability to help you over the internet.

Good vibes friend. This world is cold and cruel, it isn't you and it isn't on you.

Wow, that's a lot to process. It's good you have family at least while sorting things out. Any friends or friends of family that can help you with job leads/referrals?

A lot of people seem to be reporting sudden issues with 1000s of applications and no bites these days! Not sure what that's all about. Hopefully the tend turns around soon. (I'm sure you're checking into anything you can do to improve your applications' likelihood to get picked up.)

Sending you positive thoughts. It won't always be as bad as it is today - that's hard to see when you're suffering from it though.

I hope you can catch a break, take some time to just tread water as you can.

Lean on friends, and find anything to help keep your head above water. It's okay to be struggling - it's okay to be having a hard time. Look for the people who can help you get through things. It's good to talk to people about how you are feeling.

Just throwing out ideas, can you do any freelance work? What about other skill sets? Is there something other than IT that at least provides some income? I wish you best of luck. I know what it means to struggle.

Just keep in mind that everything could turn around again just as easily. You can't imagine it now just like you could not imagine losing it all before. But it's realistic as long as you don't give up. A job comes through tomorrow, you find a great partner the day after and all is good.

Work something outside your normal skillset as a stopgap measure. Maybe you'll find a new passion. The world just changed around you, don't assume that the time and skills you've developed so far will continue to pay off. Sunken cost fallacy. Find a new niche, make yourself good at it. Gig work, odd jobs, keep a goal in mind and work towards it.

It can very easily overwhelm you, so try to think of how proud someone that loves you will be when you pull yourself out of it. Believe that they want to be there for you, to help you, regardless of if you're proud of those decisions or not. I don't care about embarrassment or ego, I care about having those I love actively in my life.

Talk to people, don't let your sadness fester. It's ok to cry, but don't let it be all you do.

Live today, not in the past of your relationship or the future you once dreamed up. Live today with today's challenges and make a new plan for tomorrow.

I hope you'll be ok. There's love out there, I hope you can feel a tiny bit of it from this internet stranger. Please let me know when (not if) things turn and start looking better.

Lower your standards for a job. Not McDonalds level, but tier 1 support level. It's much easier to get a job if you already have one.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. I'm fine with sharing my resume with whoever would like to look (no email needed, it's hosted on my website). I have applied at the lowest of low tech jobs and completely unrelated jobs but yes, as someone below pointed out my resume is probably too experienced for them to hire me for it.

In a game of strategy, you have to get through the short term before you can implement your long-term plans. Consider your short-term well-being as not just something that will work itself out when you get a job, but something that MUST be done, so far more important than long-term planning then. Going to a gym is good advice, as is asking friends/family for help. And maybe a job in the meantime - e.g. fast food might sound demeaning but if the alternative is like suicide then it could help, and that ofc is just one extreme example but there are lots of others. The American Dream is dead - the predators gobbled it all up for themselves and there is next to nothing left for actual humans, unless you happen to sit in an existing job already - but I hope you find something that works for you.

Hey friend. What's your skill set?