ZenGrammy

Solo travel is the besssst. I tried it tentatively shortly after my divorce, too, and it was a great experience. It's really helpful in that you get to take some time to focus on being comfortable with who you are as a person (not someone's spouse or whatever but who YOU are.) No work or other responsibilities to distract you, so you do a lot of self-discovery while exploring a new place.

I don't have a lot of travel tips because I have always been not really able to afford international travel except for very recently, but I am so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone and taking that step. Now you get to start the countdown and planning for your comfort and safety during travel. I personally love that part, but I know not everyone does.

I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation for a while. Yoga and meditation are definitely a good start but I feel like adding either journaling your TRUE feelings about what is going on or talking with a therapist or trusted friend about the things you really need to get off your chest--because leaving all these things you feel you need to say unsaid is obviously making your life harder.

Yes, I started working on my grief in therapy about a year ago, and I have a friend who is a counselor, along with some close friends and family I talk about my mental health with often. I have also been working toward being more of an actual Buddhist than an occasional meditator as this year progressed. It has been very helpful in understanding the fact that life is not easy but beautiful anyway.

I hadn't heard of The Blue Zones, but now you have me curious. I will look into them. I am always looking for new ways to up my mental health game.

I agree with the part of you that says it's self-care. We all need downtime, especially if it's been a long time since you've been able to enjoy a whole day or real rest.

I just called that number and it was a9dorable! Sweet life advice and pep talks from little kids. I loved it!

When I used to work outside my house, I tried to do something every day that would really make someone's day like that, too. Giving extra compliments or helping with something I knew someone was struggling with but probably wouldn't ask for anyone to help them. When you work in a healthcare setting, it's easy to find opportunities to do those things. Now I'm always at home and there are only so many things I can do. That's why I spend all my time trying to get people to talk to me on Lemmy.

Sometimes I feel like we should change the rules in the sidebar to just that.

Yes, it's a little confusing when you read the instructions, but if you type a few letters of your home state or country in the search bar, it will start searching and then you can click the right state/country, and see the list of resources. It had quite a few in the few places I tried out just to see how it worked.

I sort of felt the same about my parents before I really did some reflection on who they were as children and how they were raised vs. how they raised me, and even how the generations before them handed down patterns of abuse that they worked hard to stop in their parenting of my siblings and me. It doesn't mean that everything was perfect. They still made mistakes that I can see as an adult who has raised children, but they also didn't have the benefit of all the knowledge I have now due to advancements in psychology and the decent education they didn't afford themselves because they were very young parents, but made sure I got.

Now, when I look back at who they were as people and parents I can see that they were not the best role models I could have asked for, but good people in their hearts, who tried to make sure I didn't suffer the same sort of childhood they had. My childhood was still not easy but it was better than what they had experienced because all they had to learn from were negative role models, too. We're all doing the best we can with the information we have.

If you try to frame it as everyone making small bits of incremental progress away from those bad role models with each generational shift, you can see the progress you have made, and that your parents made from their bad role models.

I am glad you will be going to therapy soon. Journaling and meditation will probably help you to work out your thoughts on tough topics while you are waiting, too. I started a therapy journal while I was waiting, where I wrote down what had happened that had messed up my life enough that I needed therapy. It was helpful for both me and my counselor.

I enjoyed this speaker and the different take on slowing our anxious thoughts down. I'm glad I found it later at night, when I don't have time to fall into a twelve-hour Ted Talk rabbit hole like I usually do when I come across one of these videos. Thanks for posting!

It sounds like maybe it's time for you to see a pain specialist if you haven't already done that. Mine are amazing. They help me manage my meds and any follow-up testing I need, and also work on hunting down the cause of any new or existing issues that could be managed by them. It's so frustrating when it feels like your doctor doesn't understand your pain, and a good pain specialist will not make you feel like that.

I have read some articles from chronic pain specialists saying that it's possible what your doctor is saying has some truth to it, because long-lasting pain can cause changes to your brain that make you feel pain even after your original injuries have healed. I thought that was happening to me, and my doctors probably did too, but I had nerve testing done and it turned out I have a pinched nerve that hasn't been addressed and it is somehow causing my body to experience pain at much higher levels than it should, and I tense up and become a ball of muscle spasms. The human body is so strange.

We have a lot of chronic pain sufferers in this community. You are welcome to join us. It's definitely difficult to manage and detrimental to your mental health, but I don't think your doctor was saying you are crazy. I think they were saying your brain is causing you to feel pain that you shouldn't technically be feeling so strongly anymore, so the problem is still real, but neurological now.

I appreciate it.

Showering while sitting down is really nice, but have you tried a lovely, relaxing bath? It's even better. If you have a tub and don't hate the very idea of baths, I highly recommend it.