this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2024
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This leaked today from inside webmd, the most bullshit corpo HR video I think I've ever seen.

To break down the obvious ones:

  • Employees who are obviously either drinking wayyy too much company koolaid or who know that their jobs will end if they aren't in this video
  • An extremely out of touch CEO who wants things back the old way without giving any concrete data proving that it's better beyond conjecture
  • A company with "internet" in the name who literally doesn't understand the concept of the internet
  • Threatening and bullying language to force people back in office.
  • and just a nice touch, the office is of course not near mass transit or anything and requires driving in
  • Did anyone notice they were all on green screen, kinda proving that there was no need for them to be in person?
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[–] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 120 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Of the office is so good, why did they green screen it instead of actually going there?

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 53 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's what I just noticed too! Did noone think people would notice that none of the people were actually physically there?!

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 38 points 9 months ago

Phoning it in for the video telling people they must physically go. Typical corporate bullshit.

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[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 106 points 9 months ago (1 children)

WebMD, the site that gives a diagnosis of 'cancer' for everything.

[–] Nougat@kbin.social 38 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Your comment gave me cancer.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I was coughing and had a little congestion. Now I'm getting chemo, thanks WebMD!

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 months ago (3 children)

well? did i solve the congestion? /s

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[–] Someonelemmy@lemmynsfw.com 71 points 9 months ago

" Internet Brands did not respond to a request for comment, except to say that people were busy with meetings. "

Lololololol

Fuck them. It sounds like they're too bust having meetings instead of getting work done.

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 70 points 9 months ago (1 children)

in 2021 my job was "informing, not asking". a bunch of us walked, and it crippled the OU. They actually shut it down not long ago, they decided to keep a skeleton crew on to keep the app running while the contracts run out, then they're gonna sunset it

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 50 points 9 months ago (2 children)

lmao gg. The absolute disrespect to even say "informing, not asking" unironically. Pretty sure these people see us as slaves at some level.

[–] CoggyMcFee@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

Honestly, if they said only that part in a memo, it would still obviously be very bad but it would be so much better than embedding it within this video. If I were an employee watching this, when they reached the part where they play Iko Iko while people dance after the CEO delivered the ultimatum, I’d want to shoot myself in the fucking head.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 68 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Close-quartered offices are disease farms. Stress lowers your immune system.

WebMD wants to make its workers unhealthy.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 36 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That tracks. WebMD is a terrible source of medical information.

[–] MrBusiness@lemmy.zip 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I remember using it long ago and no matter what your symptoms were you most likely have cancer.

[–] westyvw@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

Apparently the cancer is coming from inside the building!

[–] CoriolisSTORM88@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago

Yes they are. As I am at home with COVID for the 4th time. I interviewed a guy in a small room a week ago Friday, and he coughed all through the interview. I was masked. He wasn't. Two of us caught it. And I found out today they hired the clown. There are strong desires to cuss him out on his first day. Fuck that guy.

[–] doctortofu@reddthat.com 68 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This will definitely push all accounting, data entry and other such office workers to the heights of creativity and inventiveness - just what they need! /s

[–] M500@lemmy.ml 36 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If they get to stay home then why can’t I?!?

That’s really it’s about.

The only people that should be in the office are people who literally need to be there.

Like if there are physical servers and they need to be physically configured then sure the tech can go in for that.

If it’s a repair show, then sure the tech has to come in to do the repair.

Otherwise let people stay home.

[–] slurpeesoforion@startrek.website 30 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I've hypothesized that they want people in person so that the things they won't say over a network can be said in person.

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago (2 children)

They do it because they invested in the property and want to make it worth their while. Now they can enforce some stupid productivity policies while you are there.

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[–] melisdrawing@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Same with the 'getting better ideas in person' bit. He means he can't take credit for others' work if everything is documented.

[–] doctortofu@reddthat.com 12 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Oh I emphatically agree - I have a fully remote job and not even doubling my salary would make me consider switching to an office one. I was just clumsily trying to point out that a lot of corporate positions don't require all that creativity and collaboration bullshit that clueless executives love to throw around in videos like this one.

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[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 48 points 9 months ago (3 children)

this seems like a tactic so people quit instead of having to do layoffs.

[–] WoahWoah@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago
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[–] ray@kbin.social 35 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The most surprising thing I learned from this video is that WebMD still exists

[–] Chetzemoka@startrek.website 33 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

The best thing to happen from WebMD is we got a bunch of actual medical providers like Mayo Clinic, University of Maryland, Merck Manual that went, "GAH! No!!" and made actually informative, updated medical websites.

Healthline, kids. Healthline is where we go for our medical information.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm surprised it's an actual business with employees, and not some fat dude in his basement.

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[–] Bipta@kbin.social 33 points 9 months ago

Everyone is so desperate to kill their workers, and then they'll say, "Nobody wants to work anymore."

[–] westyvw@lemm.ee 30 points 9 months ago

Kind of balsy for a software company that is basically running a web page to replace office visits with a doctor.....

[–] Xariphon@kbin.social 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like a whole lotta quittin' time.

[–] Pogogunner@kbin.social 31 points 9 months ago (3 children)

That is the intent of RTO policies, yes. It's a lot cheaper to compel workers to quit rather than fire them.

[–] averagedrunk@lemmy.ml 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Same thing is happening a lot of places. One large american company that I'm not going to mention is doing several rounds of layoffs along with a return to office initiative.

[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Rolder@reddthat.com 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

What if you just pretend you don’t know what RTO is and stay home anyway

[–] thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 9 points 9 months ago

That's literally what a bunch of Amazon employees (engineers and stuff, not like warehouse workers) were doing, and last time I checked it was actually going weirdly well...?

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[–] CosmicCleric@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

“informing, not asking”

To any employees out there, don't be someone else's biotch.

Demand for workers is at one of its highest points right now.

There are other jobs out there, but you only have one respect for yourself.

(The above is said assuming that the company is not trying to just shed employees. If that is the case, then stay and give them hell. Only you can determine the state of the company you're working at, financially.)

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[–] NoIWontPickaName@kbin.social 26 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I would boycott them, but I never use them anyway

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 13 points 9 months ago

good job, to both of us, for boycotting them early!

[–] pjwestin@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago

"We've invested heavily in our cooperate headquarters and if people realize that offices are unnecessary in the modern workplace we'll lose millions."

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

People keep talking about corporate real estate and how companies need ppl in offices or the value would crash. But wouldnt the company stand to benefit in the long run by just biting the bullet on the remainder of their lease, not renew, and go 100% remote? Or at least drastically downsize.

Would that not save millions in overhead, lease payments, etc into the future? Or do they have 30 year lease agreements or something?

[–] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 7 points 9 months ago

They might own the building. They definitely have at least a 10 year lease, that's standard for commercial lease agreements.

[–] Fades@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I would pay so much fucking money to beat the shit out of that ceo. He did say we get better ideas by seeing each other face to face! I got an idea I think will get better if he and I meet fist to face

[–] 15liam20@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

Sounds like there's a new business model right there. Call it WebKO

[–] doctorcrimson@lemmy.today 9 points 9 months ago

TBH was WebMD ever actually reputable? They're like the Forbes of the medical world except Forbes actually used to be good.

[–] Bipta@kbin.social 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I was just casually googling this video and came across this absurdity. I don't dare give them views to find out the answer.

They want people back "for the simple reason" that they work better together. Well, yeah, I'd agree, without a pandemic.

But healthy people work even better.

[–] GuyDudeman@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

What hits me about this video is how unprofessional it is. None of these people are people I would want to work with.

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I would strangle everyone who appeared in this video.

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