this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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-Do not Brigade other Communities

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-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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[–] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 151 points 11 months ago (3 children)

record scratch

You're probably wondering how I got here.

[–] marx2k@lemmy.world 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fuck. Just spit coffee out in bed

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] southbayrideshare@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is the photographic equivalent of Lewis Black's "if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

It doesn't make sense at first, but your brain has to rationalize it so it comes up with a plausible explanation. It doesn't have the context to know if that's the right explanation, so while you're driving to work and going about your day it's still trying to process this in the background, quietly pushing you toward an aneurism years later.

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[–] Aganim@lemmy.world 82 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a developer I can only say: no matter how foolproof you make your product, you will always encounter that one special user.

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[–] cRazi_man@lemm.ee 53 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Many women think this is what men do in the toilet.

[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As someone with a penis, I can confirm this is exactly what we do in the toilet

[–] Norgur@kbin.social 16 points 11 months ago

I stopped doing it. Was too difficult to get up. God I'm old.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

One of my first jobs was cleaning toilets in a bowling alley and I’m pretty sure this is what women do in the toilet. Anything to avoid touching that seat.

I’m a woman and I’ve never understood it.

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[–] streetfestival@lemmy.ca 44 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That litter box should have been changed a while ago. Poor cat

[–] Aaroncvx@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah unfortunately this post just makes me angry. That litter box is fucking disgusting.

[–] rosymind@leminal.space 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As funny as this is, I concur. Also... why were they taking a picture? Kinda concerns me that they may have intentionally pushed the box top over to tip the cat

But maybe I'm just being paranoid. Idk.

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[–] uservoid1@lemmy.world 38 points 11 months ago

"Politician interact with voters after election"

[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 33 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Am I too dense to recognize that everyone is intentionally not saying:

Massive squirt from sloppy pussy (furry)

[–] great_site_not@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago

Most people are trying to intentionally not remember you said it

[–] Slow@lemmy.today 33 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The plastic thing that stands upright is part of the tray and there was probably a bottom where the cat could sit so as not to get its paws wet. Probably this second bottom broke under the weight of the cat while he was peeing. The cat's owner managed to film a rare shot of the fall.

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Kinda' looks like it was pushing its back backward against the plastic wall and the extra top popped off, suddenly offering no support, so the cat and the top tumbled over out the box.

Why it'd put so much weight outward is a whole damn question, though... The before picture was probably funny, too.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 7 points 11 months ago

You'd think that, but as serf to three felines, they just be like that.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 30 points 11 months ago

Cat-Ass-Trophy (say it fast)

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 28 points 11 months ago

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I'm sick, and I might die from laughing.

[–] Smytty@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Looks like a Renaissance statue.

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[–] randallchua@lemm.ee 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

lemmyshitpost? More like lemmypisspost

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 months ago

This one is acceptable for cross posting actually

[–] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Thanks. I just shot coke out my nose.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

It speaks for itself, honestly.

[–] appel@lemmy.ml 15 points 11 months ago

This is a work of art

[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago

CHALLENGE PISSING

If you can piss 10 ft straight up and not get wet, you get a free car.

[–] ansis@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] kewwwi@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

I believe he's spreading it

[–] brlemworld@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Weeeeeeeeeee!

[–] Hupf@feddit.de 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Is your opossum ok?

Also, this would belong to !pissposting@lemmy.world

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

You can title "cat" and it would be enough.Allthough very funny and a firsr for me it's also not surprising at all.

[–] RoyaltyInTraining@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Cool trickshot

[–] Norgur@kbin.social 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] ExhaustedFromKids@lemmings.world 8 points 11 months ago

“Purrfection”

[–] mtchristo@lemm.ee 11 points 11 months ago

All hail the cat fountain

[–] A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl 9 points 11 months ago

The world rn

[–] maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone 9 points 11 months ago

Nice phone/camera reflexes you have there. I would have fumbled this opportunity for fame and fortune.

[–] catworm@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Midstream fall.

[–] xan1242@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

The fountain of life

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

I bet that smells terrific.

[–] sartalon@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Octopus1348@lemy.lol 21 points 11 months ago

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of people calling the police together because of this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

"Pissing myself laughing" MFs be like

[–] Spoilt@jlai.lu 6 points 11 months ago

Catteken-Pis

[–] Zacryon@feddit.de 5 points 11 months ago

A good opportunity to learn about projectile motion.

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