The only opinion that matters here is your partner's.
this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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That's a decision you have to make along with your partner(s).
That's my take. If your partner is aware and doesn't mind there's nothing wrong with it. If you're doing it behind their back, that's a big issue, in more ways than one.
Cheating is when you do something that betrays your partners trust.
I couldn't care less if my partners post nudes, anonymous or otherwise, so it wouldn't be cheating for me.
Other people feel differently, and so it could be cheating for them.
I also agree.
While I couldn't care less (it's their body and bodily autonomy is super important to me), I'd be a little hurt if they didn't tell me about it.
In that case I'd be more interested in talking to my partner to try and understand why they felt that they couldn't talk to me about it and needed to keep it a secret.
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I think what's important here is discussing it with your partner because it is a form of sex work.
That's absolutely your decision and your right, it's your body - but your partner should get to choose whether they want to date someone who is doing that.
Having removed metadata and with nothing recognizable in the pic.
Not really relevant, that's like saying ordinary cheating isn't cheating if you wear a good disguise.
that's like saying ordinary cheating isn't cheating if you wear a good disguise
π€
Letβs say you wear a teddy bear suit, would that be cheatingβ¦?
/s
Or using a glory hole.
Oooo I think the analogy is a Little off. Just because of the way I interpreted why they said that in the first place.
I think it was said because they are expressing that the nudes are as impersonal as possible, not to say look I deidentified myself. In my case (if I'm right, maybe I'm not) it's a good faith argument to say see, I'm not trying to connect with someone I'm trying to have a business transaction, so comparing it to what wearing a disguise accomplishes in cheating isnt accurate.
Again, that's only based on my interpretation of why op added that bit
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Whether something, anything, is considered "cheating", is based on whatever the two people in a relationship agree shall be considered cheating. It's their relationship, their rules. An oral contract (pun intended).
If you have enough thoughts wondering if it is wrong, it probably is. Communication is key in a relationship. If they are cool with it, then do your thing. If you're too afraid to tell them then you already know the answer.
I'd be concerned if my partner hid a job from me.
It's cheating and the fact that you are asking shows you know it is.
I think the fact they're asking shows they're not sure.
But also, one should be sure what your partner constitutes as cheating before engaging in said action, yeah.
My wife and I do not see the selling of nudes as cheating (unless non-consent to the nudes or the distribution, then it's a lot of levels of gross) but others might disagree.
Yep, you're asking everyone except the right person, here. Ask your partner. If you're afraid to ask your partner, then assume it's cheating until you do.
I'm poly; I don't have a personal definition of cheating in that context. My partner is a grown-up and can do what she wants; I can barely see how that's even my business, let alone my problem.
But if you pretend to follow a given set of rules, while actually secretly breaking them - that's pretty much the definition of cheating in any context.
If your partner would be not-OK with some activity, but you want to do it, then you either do it anyway and face the conflict head on, or you don't do it at all.
Selling nudes specifically - some would care a lot, some would be fine with it, and the only way to know is to ask. But sneaking around because you assume it'd be a dealbreaker if they found out - no bueno. No bueno at all.
This. Cheating isn't any one specific thing, it's a breach of trust. If you know your partner wouldn't like it don't do it. If you're not sure, ask. If you don't want to ask, then yeah it's probably cheating.
Given data is irrelevant to the question. Anonymous or not, it depends on what your partner thinks about this. And if you don't want your partner to know, then you already know the answer.
Nah not cheating but definitely something that should be discussed in a relationship.
If your partner knows about it and is ok with it? No. In any other context? Yes.
If you're keeping this from your partner, the fact that it's not recognizable/traceable doesn't make it better, it just means you know what you're doing is wrong and you're taking steps not to get caught.
If you're serious about this question, you should not be in a relationship. Regardless of whether it was you or your partner doing it, if it was hidden from the other person, it's cheating.
Posting nudes is not cheating. Not telling your partner you're posting nudes is cheating.
Send them to me and I'll tell you if it's cheating
Warning: I'm a dude
Then show the picture to GPT-4 and ask it to describe its contents in a thousand words.
And post that text here, and weβre read it and weβll judge whether itβs cheating material or just a fappable comment.
If it's something we previously discussed and agreed on, no. Hell, I might even help if they want.
If it was done in secret, I'm not sure if I'd quite call it cheating but it's at least a lie of omission: What other secrets are being kept? Why should I keep trusting this person if they aren't honest with me?
Backing all these comments that say it's about communication. If I found out my partner has been selling nudes, hiding it from me, and also hiding the money? An unforgivable betrayal of my trust and our relationship. If he came to me beforehand and we discussed it and the money went towards our mutual goals, it would at least be something I'd consider.
The whole point is not hiding it from your partner. Discuss things before you do them.
No but everyone's definition of cheating is different. If I found out, I'd ask that my partner communicate that she's doing it, maybe include me in some way, like taking the pictures.
I donβt think so, but having partner buy-in is def important. Actors that do sex scenes or models that take nude photos/videos arenβt generally considered cheaters for doing so, but doing it in secret might be a breach of trust.
Yeah, if your partner did it behind your back for whatever reason and you found out about it I would say that that is an offense worthy of possibly ending the relationship over.
I wouldn't call it cheating, but I would call it a breach of the trust in the relationship.
If my girlfriend didn't trust me enough to tell me that she's wanting to do that then what else is she going to keep from me?
Maybe I'm not the right person for her if she feels like she can't tell that to me.
This depends entirely on what boundaries you have set in your relationship(s), and whether the person who is doing the sex work is open about it with the other partner(s)
Example 1: Relationship is established as monogamous, person is open about performing sex work and is not doing things behind their partner's back/trying to hide it, and both parties are satisfied that it falls within the boundaries they've set in their relationship - not cheating!
Example 2: Relationship is established as polyamorous, people involved have several partners and metamours. Person doing the sex work is not open with one or more of their partners about it, tries to hide it or do it behind people's backs, or does so despite it being outside of the boundaries set with one or more of their partners - cheating!
As with the vast majority of things in this vein, it's all about the individuals involved.
No but if your partner feels the need to hide this from you it's a good moment for reflection
Whose nudes? Yours or your partners?
Your own
You're selling my nudes?!
You really ought to close that bedroom window at night
No because I define cheating as sex with a non partner without the partnerβs knowledge or permission.
But it still ainβt great and should absolutely be discussed with them. Hiding shit like that never works out and it will just damage or destroy trust when they find out.
You can emotionally cheat on people as much as physically cheat.
It's definitely not cheating, but it still may upset your partner. I'd discuss it with them if I were you.
Not cheating, but without her knowledge or permission it just kind of makes you a piece of shit
No but also I'm poly so my boundaries on what is cheating are way different from most the population
Whose nudes?
Personally, I don't consider it cheating but I would be just as pissed off as if it were, so the difference doesn't really matter.
As others said, you probably want to talk thay with your partner.
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