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And then you develop depression (and other FUN stuff) and it gets worse
[OC]
Edit: fixed title to align with 196 customs
If you're neurodivergent it's never about being "normal" it's about managing whatever mental illness you have, and being happy and functioning. To strive to be "normal" is setting yourself up for failure. Strive to be happy and to do the things you want to do.
It's really frustrating when you understand this but nobody else does and everyone in your life expects you to he normal without ever compromising on anything. Trying to explain that a disability is, y'know, disabling, just gets waved away as "making excuses" no matter what. Like believe it or not, I have considered just not forgetting things, but unfortunately it doesn't work like that.
Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and put your foot down, I know that can be hard, but the people around you need to support you or know that you need support or there will be a limit to how much you interact with them.
This exactly
When I started treating my ADHD it was with a goal of being able to finish things instead of starting 99 things finishing zero and hating myself that much more.
And since I've started treating my ADHD my PTSD got easier to handle, my anxiety got easier to deal with (to the point of nearly a non-issue), and my mental health has improved dramatically due to being able to actually finish things.
10/10, my only complaint is not doing it sooner.
Masking a little bit can be useful, masking too much is shown to be very hurtful and depressing. Embrace yourself!
treatment resistant depression gang
The one singular treatment that doesn't worsen other already unmanageable symptoms or cause measurable brain damage is only available in Asutralia gang 🙃
Guess I'll just go fuck myself
does TMS fall into either of those categories?
You're talking about transcranial magnetic stimulation?
You know, that hadn't been on my radar? I appreciate you bringing that up and forcing me to have a better understanding of it. Looking further into it, there doesn't seem to be enough literature at the moment to be certain and it's not currently FDA approved for my specific case. Severe depression, yes. Psychosis is a relative contraindication as of last year -- i.e., "exercise caution, but go ahead with it if the benefit outweighs the risk."
Which would be the question, for me. I'm not certain, in my case, whether I would be labeled as so bad off that I outweigh all risk of making it worse. Could see it happening because god does hate me and maybe I just don't realize how bad it is, but I think I'd likely just go back to being prescribed varying medications forever until we all grow old and die.
The position I'm currently in is, each successive psychotic break a person has causes a tiny little percentage of brain damage. So do antipsychotics if you keep taking them. That knowledge makes it feel like a question of the rate at which I desire my brain to rot rather than an If, and I don't think I really can be more sedated than I am and remain this barely functional.
So I've really been holding out for the US to take notice of Australia's recent approval of psilocybin, which doesn't seem to have anywhere approaching the negative effects while still acting as a successful medication. I got all excited over it and everything.
You know, I think I would try TMS if it were offered to me, yeah. What's the worst thing that's going to happen, I'll turn into myself?
Sounds like a fellow ADHDer
as stated in another comment, you were correct. the search continues!
Hot take: Depression is not actually a primarily neurological disease so you can't expect to cure it by fixing something in your brain
Yep! Anti-depressants are actually very good at helping a person slow down their thinking for use in therapy. Some sort of therapy whether its CBT or mindfulness or childhood trauma exploration or finding coping mechanisms for daily life, or something else, that's often key to the solution.
Sure would be rad if you had any studies to back that up
Would be. Or i could just argue that the prevalent notion of health is too focused on physiological issues, and that in the recent efforts to recognize depression as a valid illness, there is a tendency to reframe it as a neurological disease, rather than validating mental issues as such. As far as I'm informed the neurological processes involved in depression and the effect of psychotropic drugs are not well understood, so there isn't even a basis there to determine what causes what.
Story. Of. My. Life.
In an inpatient program at 27, diagnosed with anaclitic depression. If they know what it is, I thought, they can treat it!
Hahaha hahaha HAHAHAHAHA! no.
At best, basket cases like me can manage our symptoms. We can develop habits to make them less common, and get ourselves safe and go into self-care mode when they're triggered. Or when the abyss beckons.
On the other hand, all of society is crazy too. And I know some of the paths in the labyrinth.
'tis Why i don't go in.
Please kill me now Please kill me now Please kill me now Please kill me now Please kill me now Please kill me now
I'll be starting a new treatment soon (on waiting list), it will be the seventh treatment plan I will be starting and have been getting treatment for over a decade. First suicide attempt in 2009 (man I wish it would have worked).
I should start the new treatment with hope and optimism, but at this point I feel I tried almost everything and I don't think it's ever getting better.
But hey, maybe I'll get an aneurysm and die peacefully when I sleep tonight, wouldn't that be a blessing.
Gifted people can show adhd like symptoms, meds don't work and the only treatment is to change your surroundings.
General shortlist to wellbeing of humans:
Basic needs: Eat, drink, sleep.
Secondary needs: Sunlight, movement, social contacts.
Beyond that: Recognition, intimacy, connection...
If the first two layers go wrong, you already feel like shit because of that. Its additive, the more you can't fullfill, the worse you feel, and whatever other troubles you may have, add on top.
Look into DNA testing that focuses on creating treatment plans.
Yes! I did GeneSight and am finally on anxiety medication that is working for me after trying 6 drugs prior. Highly recommend.
Diagnosed with what OP?
Ligma 😢
No cure 😭
Don't mind if I do.
In the post I'm talking specifically about ADHD, (I have crippling executive function issues) but I'll give a full list here:
edit: also sleep apnea
Just a thought, but, if the treatments aren't working you could be misdiagnosed. Try seeking a second opinion
but how are they gonna be trendy online if they dont say they have a bunch of disorders and make zero lifestyle changes to accommodate?
I feel your pain OP. I was diagnosed with GAD in 2008 and it took until this year to find meds that worked for me. Vybrid and high dose buspar worked with no side effects except increased libido
I haven't tried it myself but I hear a lot of people have luck with ketamine treatments.
Good luck.
This might not help, but it helped me a little.
Look at your relationships. Do you desire relationships? Do you put effort into those relationships? Do you find them rewarding, or stressful? Make changes to the ones that are stressful. If they become less stressful, see how that impacts the rest.
Auditory processing + fine motor control is stressful enough, I'd take steps to minimize stressor here if it were me.
In particular, I have to have 0 noise sometimes. I get those big ass power tool ear muffs slide safety goggles on and a bright vest with work gloves. You'd be amazed at how much better you feel with this "armor" on? Or at least that's what I go with. I like wearing "armor"
No one is going to ask you questions, and if they do, you can make the conversation into one you want , "sorry, I'm on a schedule, I'd really like to get this done," or "sorry, this is worksite protective gear, and I'm not onsite." or if your feel brave tell em what it's for "I wear this so I can go about my day in the same comforts as everyone else, I'd love to tell you what it all does." That's at least my plan. I don't know if it will actually work and now I'm talking myself out of doing this anymore
Being a normal person is something to aspire to?
I finally found something that kinda worked after years of trying. Then I moved and I can't afford insurance at my new job. Guess I'll die gobless usa 🫡
Me, today, when my meds no longer feel like they're doing any good the second day in a row.
I also have ADHD, GAD, and MDD. My executive function is pretty non existent.
Anecdotally Ketamine made my medical trauma far worse than it could have been.
I don't like it when people float ketamine around without the "CAREFUL GUIDENCE OF A PHYSICIAN" because Ketamine can and will have a different response depending on the medication you take and how your genetic metabolism handles it.
For example:
I remembered them cutting into me, then an OBE watching them insert the chest tube, feeling the whole damn thing and seeing mice people.
I had been taking Prozac, a CY2B6 inhibitor. I had normal activity on that. However, I had reduced activity on 3A4, meaning, over all, I wasn't going to process the ketamine the same.
Basically it just made everything into a horror film for me.
So, yeah. Doctor.
Me when the third mood stabilizer also doesn't work.
Boneitis?
I had a really hard time finding something that worked for my depression.
I discovered SAMe (S-adenosyl-L-methionine) though the nootropic community on reddit and it's worked far better than anything else I've tried. It has a lot of other medications it might interact negatively with though.