this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 122 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank god he negotiated a peace deal with the hurricane at the last minute.

[–] eddanja@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Why do you think Idalia ravaged Florida? It's because Trump wasn't president with his magic sharpie... Obviously.

[–] LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world 68 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I averted bank robbery….by not robbing the bank.

[–] GitProphet@lemmy.sdfeu.org 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Kyoyeou@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

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[–] Kyoyeou@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago

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[–] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 67 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Hes not wrong. We almost did have nuclear war.

Because of his stupidity and assholery toward North Korea.

[–] Chariotwheel@kbin.social 50 points 1 year ago

He succesful prevented nuclear holocaust by being voted out before he could make everything even worse

[–] BruceTwarzen@kbin.social 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There are some things you read online that i just can't get out of my brain. One of those things was a random comment when trump came back from north korea, that said something like: after all these years under obama, i van finally rest easy, i can finally sleep at night, now that my family is save and we are not under constant nuclear threat anymore.

I get that people are paranoid and scared, and they hide at home with a gun under their pillow. But how the fuck does this thought crosses anyone's mind? From the guy who can barely say nuclear.

[–] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

How does that thought cross their mind?

Because black man scary, that's why.

[–] Sarie@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That wasn't even close to a nuclear war. The real threat was nuking the hurricanes. Just imagine what could have happened if Atlantis retaliated. /s

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

…Florida sinks into the sea? I’m good with that.

[–] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Give it a couple more years. Climate change is going to make each and every hurricane that hits Florida a Cat 5. Hell, the water might even get so hot they will invent a new Cat 6!

I think, as a society, we need to admit Atlantis is owed reparations anyways.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

North Korea is not a threat and never will be a threat unless attacked. They are just hungry and making a show. Fucking Americans man.....

[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Hey now, most Americans know NK is not a threat. Just not the dumbass ex president.

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[–] dogslayeggs@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

No, we didn't. At no point in any of our presidents' tenures was North Korea a nuclear threat, regardless of how the US or that president was treating them.

[–] rentar42@kbin.social 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He might actually believe that himself.

And I'd like to see him in jail as much as the next one, but is this really news? "Colossal narcissist brags about his achievements".

[–] Ubermeisters@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago

No it's not news, but it's got the orange assholes name in the title so it's going to get clicks and comments

[–] madnoh@monyet.cc 55 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

You deserve a medal.

Maybe one of those participation ribbons. Thank you :)

[–] MahatmaGandhalf@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] ours@lemmy.film 11 points 1 year ago

12ft has been disabled for this site

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 year ago

I haven't seen that site work in a very long time.

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[–] NotSteve_@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I haven't been able to open this site on my phone in a while. It always gives me a repeating captcha that never let's me in

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[–] viperex@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago

It's like watching Cartman come up with crazier and crazier stories as he takes credit for the fish sticks joke

[–] Tar_alcaran@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Trump narrowly averted a nuclear holocaust... by forgetting how the Football works.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They haven't given him the football. It's just a briefcase with an Arduino and some LEDs in it.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

The ~~internet~~football doesn't weigh anything, ~~Jen~~Mr. President.

[–] krayj@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And friends of mine have said, you are the most honest person in the world.

LMFAO. Does the world have recorded audio or recorded video of any other human being in the history of humanity making more provably false statements than trump? No. If there was a Guinness world record for lying, trump would be the record holder.

[–] sndmn@lemmy.ca 31 points 1 year ago

Washington couldn't tell a lie

Nixon couldn't tell the truth

Trump couldn't tell the difference

[–] ATQ@lemm.ee 29 points 1 year ago

In this article: lying liar lies.

[–] Jaysyn@kbin.social 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Fun fact: that's not a defense for any of his crimes.

Trump is going to die in federal custody if he doesn't off himself first.

[–] Md1501@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We can only hope, but I have zero trust in the justice system to sentence him to any jail time.

[–] Jaysyn@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I said custody, not jail time. An ex-president knows too much to be left in General Population.

As long as we don't fuck up & elect a Republican, Trump isn't walking away from 91 felonies. He will die alone under house arrest at a military base.

[–] Md1501@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's fair, it would be nice if he they gave him just a standard house on a base.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago
[–] newthrowaway20@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

If the justice system fails to act, won't someone rid me of this meddlesome ex-president?

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'm honestly surprised he hasn't gotten the Epstein treatment. Given what he knows, who he works for, amd his absolute inability to control his mouth, the people pulling strings must be concerned about the next thing he might say. I guess they think he might win reelection? I still think the moment he is more dangerous than useful, he has a controlled cardiac event.

[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is not the timeline we want to see. It'd basically validate all the bullshit deep state claims.

I don't want to be a country where politicians fall out of windows.

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[–] OctopusKurwa@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

He could also try running to Russia

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 1 year ago

Well he's already revealed all the state secrets, so there isn't much risk I suppose.

[–] Jaysyn@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

That didn't work for Manafort. I'm not sure Trump's Secret Security detail would allow that, even if he wasn't under indictment for 91 felonies.

[–] cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

I averted nuclear holocaust because I couldn't remember the codes for it

[–] ANIMATEK@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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