this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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If we MUST eat a entire bag of Oreos.

Which scenario is better?

  • Eat the entire bag in 30 minutes
  • Eat the bag slowly, and evenly throughout a day?

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[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

Eat em all at once. Right before your appointment at the dentist to have your teeth cleaned

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

More enjoyment if you spread it out over the whole day, plus you won't barf. You might shit liquid, but y'know, lesser evil I'd say.

[–] Shapillon@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

People barf from binge eating stuff? :o

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Yeah, there's a finite amount of room in there, where else it is supposed to go?

[–] ef9357@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago

If you are intermittent fasting, then eat in one 30 minute window. If not, no fucking idea.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago

Scrape off all the cream and eat a bowlful of that, then snack on the burnt cookies the rest of the day.

[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I love that the question doesn't specify what "better" means, and we're all interpreting it in our own ways. Healthier? More enjoyable?

[–] Lag@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

It's better for mother nature if we all try to eat a whole bag in 30 seconds.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I’d probably barf if I ate the whole pack in one sitting. Or at least feel like I would.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

Can confirm, I felt like that once and it made me quit Oreos for a long while. I still don't quite enjoy them as much and do limit how many I eat. So I guess that's good?

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 39 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Eating sugary stuff that sticks in your teeth continuously throughout the day is the worst possible you can do for the teeth.

Binge eating sweets is pretty bad for blood sugar.

So to balance it out eat a third after every meal for max health and enjoyment.

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 16 points 10 hours ago

So do a line after you dine?

[–] eatham@aussie.zone 2 points 7 hours ago

Eat them all at once

[–] Solocore@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

Probably across the course of the day parts maybe faster than others

[–] LittleTarsier@lemmy.ca 29 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)

As a Canadian, unfortunately the answer is now to not eat them at all because they are an American product. This breaks my heart because I am the type of person that would eat an entire bag throughout the day :(

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

What about Canadian off-brand? Is that a thing? Like at Canadamart or Tim Horton's or wherever y'all shop?

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

technically it's an off off brand because Oreos themselves are an off brand

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

True, but Hydrox is also American, so no dice.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago

darn :(, I tried

[–] LittleTarsier@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 hours ago

We have "Eat the Middle First" but they're not that great sadly

[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

So Canada doesn't have decent cookies either?
I tried them once (in EU) to see what those famous cookies were like and they're crap.
Not even mediocre.

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[–] renrenPDX@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

It depends on what you want your poop to look like later.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 15 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

oh i don't plan on pooping.

[–] lukstru@lemmy.world 6 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Do you just let it happen when the time comes?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago

I miss the spontaneity of my youth.

[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 83 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

The package is conveniently divided into breakfast, lunch, and dinner rows.

[–] vulgarcynic@sh.itjust.works 21 points 16 hours ago

We call that doing lines around these parts.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

You're eating those as a treat, not for your health. You probably know the negative impact that sugar and trans fats have, so if you're going to treat yourself, I'd say make sure to make it count.

Do you get more overall pleasure from a little bit of enjoyment throughout the day or from a lot of enjoyment for a short amount of time? Maybe half now and half later or tomorrow? That's how I decide how to eat/do stuff that I enjoy but know can negatively impact my health if I over do it.

If you do want to make it less unhealthy though, try to make sure they're not the only thing in your stomach and rinse your mouth after you're done eating them.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 5 points 15 hours ago (4 children)

Eat them right before a big, protein heavy meal. The sugar will stimulate insulin production which will help to process more of the protein. And then have a couple for dessert.

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[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

In a large bowl, combine 750ml of your closest booze and the Oreos. Use a potato masher to create a smooth yet chunky consistency. Best enjoyed naked while binge watching Bojack Horseman.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I only had a bottle of Listerine, but two birds, one stone. No need to go brush after now.

[–] Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 8 hours ago

The mint will compliment it nicely. I love mint Oreos

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 points 10 hours ago

Around here, we just call that "Sunday".

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 31 points 22 hours ago (11 children)

Ehhh, I'd say that, on average and for most purposes, spread out is better.

Less of a hit to your system. No big blood sugar spikes, which reduces the worst aspects if swallowing an entire package to the minimum it gets.

That being said, expect digestive issues to linger. You've got a lot of fats, the coloring, and the sugars playing havoc with your guts.

Expect to need a lot of tooth brushing unless you just enjoy having plaque and acid build-up messing with your teeth.

But I'd say that the risks of big spikes in blood sugar are higher than those risks. It could, in the right circumstances, kill you. And the way some of the more recent information regarding the role of sugar in atherosclerosis, and maybe other cardiovascular illness, is looking, every big spike is whittling time off of your heart more than a bunch of little ones will.

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