If Saints Row taught me anything, don’t discount the dildo bat.
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2025
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The way it flops... I could not stop laughing the first time I used it.
When the dildo bat is unavailable, use the alien dildo instead aka the Tentacle Bat
In Kirk's defense. He did try pulling a phsae-rifle on gary and it didn't work. So, realizing his backup was non-viable, sought a more reliable solution.
Necessity is the dildo of invention. As they say.
In Kirk's defense, he didn't need anything more than a club. The man could full-body body-check multiple opponents at once. He fought a dinosaur hand-to-hand, and in the end won by hand-crafting a blunderbuss using nothing but natural environmental materials.
The captains log!!
Picard: Shoot them.
Sisko: Shoot them.
Janeway: Shoot them.
Kirk: Fuck them.
Kirk, when his "natural" charm fails.
Sisko and Eddington at Solosus III
Shaka ,when the Jem'Hadar fell
Kira, her head replaced
Pulling out – the secret weapon.
To really cement your dominance try not pulling out. They'll feel very subordinate they have to clench and hover on the car ride home so they don't get white stains in their pants.
You know what they say, dildos are just diplomacy by other means.
Picard and diplomacy not working – pick one of the two.
Except with the borg.
There was that one time he used diplomacy to... diplomatically reveal that he'd brought a bunch of trigger-happy Klingons to a confrontation with the Romulans. Picard loves diplomacy, but I would not want to face off against him in a shooting war.
Diplomacy failed with the Sheliak also...he just turned to being a straight up dick
I actually think finding a bureaucratic loophole in a treaty to force your opponent to negotiate is a pretty great example of diplomacy.
I think Picard is no stranger to speaking softly and carrying a big stick
"You may test that assumption at your convenience."
Are these phaser rifles actually better? It never seems like they’re any more powerful or accurate than the handheld versions.
i chuckled at lower decks just calling them "big phasers"
Maybe they have a higher energy capacity, so more shots can be fired before recharging it?
It's absurd that they send their top executives on away missions. He's a desk officer. He should never hold a gun.