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“Dying boy, 15, gets wish: losing virginity Chicago Sun Times ^ | 12/23/01 | BY BENJAMIN ERRETT Posted on 12/23/2001, 6:26:24 AM by Mopp4

A terminally ill boy had his dying wish granted in Australia this month, but ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do. The wish was not for a trip to Disneyland or to meet a famous sports star. Instead, the 15-year-old wanted to lose his virginity before he died of cancer. The boy, who remains anonymous but was called Jack by the Australian media, did not want his parents to know about his request. Because of his many years spent in the hospital, he had no girlfriend or female friends. Jack died last week, but not before having his last wish granted. Without the knowledge of his parents or hospital staff, friends arranged an encounter with a prostitute outside of hospital premises. All precautions were taken, and the organizers made sure the act was fully consensual. The issue has sparked fierce debate over the legal and ethical implications of granting the boy's request. By law, Jack was still a child, and the woman involved could in theory face charges for having sex with a minor. The debate was sparked by the hospital's child psychologist, who wrote a letter to "Life Matters," a radio show in which academics debate ethical and moral dilemmas. The scenario was presented in the abstract, with no details about the boy's identity.

"He had been sick for quite a long period, and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," the psychologist said recently in an interview with Australia's Daily Telegraph newspaper. "But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have." Hospital staff initially wanted to pool donations to pay for a prostitute, but the ethical and legal implications prevented them from doing so. The psychologist presented members of the clergy with the dilemma and found no clear answer. "It really polarized them," he said. "About half said, 'What's your problem?' And the other half said [it] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one."

Dr. Stephen Leeder, dean of medicine at the University of Sydney and a "Life Matters" panelist, said the issue was a difficult one. "I pointed out that public hospitals operated under the expectation that they would abide by state law," he said. "While various things doubtless are done that are at the edge of that, it's important the public has confidence that the law will be followed." Jack's psychologist, who works with children in palliative care, said the desire was driven in part by a need for basic human contact. "In a child dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger,'" he said. The terminally ill child yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt." Leeder called the diagnosis "improbable." Judy Lumby, the show's other panelist and the executive director of the New South Wales College of Nursing, argued that the details as presented made it abundantly clear the boy's wish ought to be granted. "I said that I would try my darndest as a nurse to do whatever I could to make sure his wish came true," she said. "I just think we are so archaic in the way we treat people in institutions. Certainly, if any of my three daughters were dying, I'd do whatever I could, and I'm sure that you would, too." National Post”

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[–] Jamablaya@lemmy.world 10 points 1 hour ago

This should have never been in the news, publicized or judged.

[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 2 points 5 hours ago

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[–] Ethoteric@lemm.ee 13 points 12 hours ago

Until you think of humans as merely the biological ape creatures we are, free from Western social mores and norms and free from laws that do not check for situational nuances, then you cannot fully understand how this is not an ethical dilemma.

[–] TeraByteMarx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

When I worked in a brothel an alarming amount of father's, uncles, brothers etc. would bring in underage boys, or more frequently young men who has just turned 18. Like they thought it would set them up better in life, like finishing college of something. Gender roles are horrible for everyone involved. Support kid getting dying wish but seriously question if maybe things could be better because there's much more to life than sex

[–] Jamablaya@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

Think of it like the old chicken pox strategy, just get it over with so a person can move on.

[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 12 points 6 hours ago

I grew up in an evangelical Christian household. I was taught constantly that sex was an amazing experience and basically the best fun someone could have without drugs, but you definitely weren't allowed to do it. This message was repeated for 20 some years.

When I hit puberty this meant I got the illustrious combo of constantly thinking about sex and constantly feeling guilty about thinking about sex.

When I finally did have sex it was fun, but like, no where near as exciting as it had been hyped up to be. It was kind of a let down, but at least I had that knowledge now.

I can absolutely understand why young men fall into the incel trap or harbour objectifying opinions of others. And if your father fell into that trap, well, you're gonna have troubled teenage years that will be even more difficult to find normalcy from.

[–] Fades@lemmy.world 45 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Who gives a FUCK what the clergy think???? Ask the scientists and be done with it, otherwise you may as well just open a damn suggestion box and let any old moron have their say.

The only experience clergy have here is the “sex with underage children” part.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 hours ago

I think ethicists should be consulted, not just scientists.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago (19 children)

A lot of people think the clergy are good at figuring out ethical stuff. To be fair they get a lot of education on ethics in relation to their religion. So a clergy person who operates in good faith (haha but I couldn't think of a better way to state it) could actually be a good resource. One operating in bad faith though can do a lot of damage.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Oh yeah, the clergy is so well known for their ethics... If you ignore the rampant sexual abuse, and their disgustingly callous attempts at covering up by shuffling literal pedophiles to other parishes where they can continue to sexually abuse children.

But sure, if you ignore all that institutionalized, systemic sexual abuse of minors, then yeah they're great with ethics!

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Did I say they were all bastions of ethics?

[–] exploitedamerican@lemm.ee 8 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Where the fuck were those conversations on ethics during the spanish inquisition, or the opening of the flood gates that was the catholic church pedophilia sexual abuse scandal that seems to never end? Or had they not figured out ethics at that point?

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago (6 children)

Unfortunately ethics education does not equal ethical actions. Ethics have also seriously evolved since the Inquisition.

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