this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
114 points (96.7% liked)

Mental Health

4265 readers
228 users here now

Welcome!

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules

1-Posts promoting paid products and services of any kind are not allowed here.

2-All posts and comments must be helpful and supportive. Do not put vulnerable people at risk.

3-Do not DM or ask to speak privately to any of our members unless they specifically request it.

If a person from this community disturbs you in a comment, please report the comment. If you receive a DM you did not request, send a screenshot of the DM in a message to a moderator. This is a bannable offense.

4-Suicide, Self-Harm, Death-- Extended discussions are STRONGLY DISCOURAGED here. First, mods and community members are caring people, but not experts in crisis situations. Second, we want to avoid Lemmy becoming like many commercial social media platforms, where comments can snowball into counterproductive talk.

If you or someone you know needs more help than can be found here, please refer to the pinned resources.

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

- Therapy

Neurodegenerative Disease Support

ADHD

Autism

Fibromyalgia

TMJ

Chronic Pain

Bipolar Disorder

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Friends and Family of People with Addiction

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

Community Moderation

Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to ZenGrammy for more information.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I bought a property near a church, about 30 meters. When I bought it and years before the bells were "off" and it's barely used.

Since a year they fixed the bell and clock and now it starts at 05:30 in the morning, 08:00, 11:00, 12:00, 01:00 and 18:00

For each 5 minutes very loud.

I talked with the people who work at the church and said it is a huge issue for me, especially cause I work nights.

They don't care and refuse to make it quieter and won't reduce the length of each time it starts the bells.

Long story short: I am in therapy since a year because I have a huge debt, I can't move away and I can't sleep anymore. I have no idea what I can do with my life I am afraid I am going to get even more mentally ill than I am now. Selling is also now no more option, who would buy a place where you can't fall asleep or if you fall asleep you wake up by massive bell noise.

The only time I sleep is when I can afford vacation twice a year...

My therapist wrote my insurance and they are thinking of giving me the oppertunity to sleep somewhere else for one to two weeks every three months. They will pay for it, but this can't be the solution?!

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] BlueBeard@lemmy.world 10 points 2 hours ago

Does your house vibrate when the bells ring?

  • if true, you might sue for potential property damage. That should make them think twice. In this case, soundproofing has little effect.
  • if not, you might want to invest in better windows and/or window blinds. Neither should be extremly expensive and you can start by soundproofing the room you sleep in.

Fyi, we lived near a noisy main street. After changing the windows we were surprised how little of the traffic we heard.

[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 14 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

You probably tried this already but what about ear plugs?

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 hour ago

Came here to say the same. The wax ear plugs are the best for sleeping.

[–] why_not_start_over@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

Isn't this how fight clubs start? Maybe rent the basement of the church, invite some "friends" not to talk about it?

Seriously though, meditation/mindfulness can help a bit. Practicing incorporating and accepting the constant overstimulation.

Good luck 🍀🤞

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 15 points 16 hours ago

I wonder if the previous occupant of the property you're on was the reason the bell was out of service when you got there... 🤔

[–] Pieisawesome@lemmy.world 57 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Get a sound meter. Check the laws to se if they are exceeding the sound decibels, then complain to the police and keep asking for higher supervisors and be persistent.

Complain to city council or mayors office if police refuse to enforce the law

[–] capital@lemmy.world 15 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

I’m my area, and I assume this is the case for most, shit like this is exempt from noise ordinances.

Because religious noise is ok…

Worth at least verifying.

[–] DeadWorldWalking@lemmy.world 15 points 20 hours ago

If the city tries to ignore you go to local news stations

[–] Appleseuss@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago

Does the church have a sprinkler system installed?

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 9 points 18 hours ago

And of course it's a church

Just do as I say, buy don't do as I do.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 30 points 23 hours ago

Jesus: "love thy neighbor"

The church: I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see that

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 25 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Is it legal to ring church bells at 5:30 am? WTF?

Anyways, get some ear plugs.

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 15 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

EPA put a 7AM limit on noise pollution.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 6 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Welp, there's OPs answer. Reporting time!

[–] MooDib@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

OP used meters, so it's pretty likely they're not in the US.

[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

Better do it soon, before the EPA is dissolved!

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world -1 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

I know this isn't fiscally realistic but... before you leave this world, donate the house to the church of satan.

or a mosque that's really into the prayer call.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

before you leave this world

Holy fucking shit, dude. Pump the brakes.

[–] Backlog3231@reddthat.com 3 points 1 hour ago

Spoiler alert: you're going to die and there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening.

[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 11 points 22 hours ago
[–] atro_city@fedia.io 89 points 1 day ago

If the church doesn't care, send a letter to the mayor, show up to the town hall meetings or public town hall sessions, make videos about it on social media, sue them for being a noise nuisance, send the newspaper a message and describe your situation to ask for help in exposing the problem so that more people get wind of it, ... Basically, air your dirty laundry since the church doesn't give a fuck about you.

Personal opinion about loud, religious venues: fuck them. I wish more people would sue them for being a noise nuisance. If they want to remind people to show up, send an electronic message or hell, even a carrier pigeon for all I care, just stop making everybody aware of your beliefs. Many people don't care or believe in the same things as you. These aren't the 1800s anymore.

[–] GetOffMyLan@programming.dev 35 points 1 day ago

The fact that a lot of the neighbours like it means it could sell. You might get lucky with some old people. My grandparents had a clock that chimed every hour. They absolutely loved it even though it went all night.

Short term solution is to invest in the best ear plugs you can.

[–] Grogon@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

Just talked with the church priest just now. He can't do anything...

But now I have an idea, I might just play loud music outside while I am inside, stuff like Heaven Shall Burn or Breakdown of Sanity (legal volume on my ground).

In the hope church goers will be annoyed and talk with him out me making noise all day. Then we can make a deal and if he can't do anything I sadly can't either because I love listening to music during the day

[–] Bukkakechess69@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 hour ago

Die Läuteordnung kennst du bestimmt schon? Das die Glocken jetzt wieder gehen ist ja cool, und die können ja auch gerne zum Gottesdienst bimmeln wenn sie wollen. Aber am Ende kann sich die Gemeinde darauf einigen wann und wie laut die Dinger sind. Wenn da jetzt ein Nachbar der nicht schlafen kann zu der Gemeinde kommt und nett fragt ob das not tut dass die um 5:30 so laut sind dann muss man schon ein ganz schön dummes arschloch sein um zu sagen ‘ne fick dich ich mag laute Glocken und kann keine Uhr lesen’.

Was ich damit sagen will ist dass der Uhrschlag nicht besonders geschützt ist und komm’ ja nicht auf die Idee ein muezin zu werden, und/oder in eine Kirche einzubrechen bzw. wäre doch schade wenn da was passiert.

Du kannst natürlich auch in die Kirche eintreten und verlangen dass die mal neue Klingeltönen installieren.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

I think that's a very bad idea. I think getting the congregation on your side is wise, but I don't think doing it by annoying them is a good approach. They'll just dig their heels in.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 15 points 22 hours ago

Just talked with the church priest just now. He can't do anything...

He can, he just doesn't want to.

[–] towerful@programming.dev 2 points 16 hours ago

I feel that making loud noise during "normal" sleeping hours to get back at the church for making noise during "normal" waking hours will backfire horribly on you.

It's probably just time to move.

The church was likely there first. The church bells (tho non-functional) were likely there first. So your property likely has less "jurisdiction". Like a building a house next to an established noisy bar/pub.
And considering you haven't been playing music loudly outside since you've moved in, it will likely be pointed out that this is in retaliation to the recent bells renovation.

It's just time to move.
Cope as best you can as you save up to move. Earplugs, basically.
You can research local noise laws, and track all times the bells violate them. But that's gonna be a long process.

[–] janonymous@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, I don't think going on the offensive is going to help you. It's just going to alienate everyone.

I don't quite get how you still get woken by the bells if your house is isolated and you wear ear protection to bed. There must be a way to get your bedroom soundproof.

It sounds like your issue isn't just the sound of the bells. I've lived near a hospital with ambulances blaring students coming and going randomly at every hour. After a while we got used to it. Now, when I rewatch videos from back then I'm surprised to hear them, because they aren't in my memory. What I'm getting at is that your opposition to the sound, your anger, is drawing your focus. I don't think you can get used to them if they keep triggering strong emotions in you. It might be a long shot and I understand this isn't the solution you are looking for, but maybe you can get used to them eventually. Humans are really good at getting used to new conditions. You can't control your environment, but you can control your reaction to it. It sounds like some zen shit, and it is, but reducing your anger about the bells and accepting them as a new part of your life, might help you get your sleep back. There is no physical reason, why you shouldn't be able to sleep through the bells ringing. So, at least in theory, you should be able to change it by accepting it. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but it should be possible and if you manage to do that, you will be able to handle similar issues as well.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Selling is also now no more option, who would buy a place where you can't fall asleep or if you fall asleep you wake up by massive bell noise.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I lived just near a cathedral which rang their bells every 15 minutes, in a badly isolated apartment but that never bothered me. I'm not saying this to minimize the seriousness of what you're experiencing, but to show a possible way out: we each have very different levels of tolerance. What is (legitimately) unbearable for you may be (legitimately) bearable or even pleasant for someone else. If the inconvenience is so great, try to sell anyway: at worst no one will buy and you will have lost nothing, at best you will find a buyer who is not bothered by bells and you will be able to rebuild your life far from this nuisance.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] CouncilOfFriends@slrpnk.net 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I work nights and sometimes have to use disposable foam earplugs if there is lawn maintenance waking me up.

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Wax earplugs are where it's at. I'm a light sleeper so I use them most nights and they're both more comfortable and better for sound isolation.

[–] capital@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Adding to the list of earplug recs, I went to an audiologist and had forms made to order silicone earplugs perfectly shaped for my ears.

They’ve worked well for sleeping next to my spouse who’s a horrible snorer.

[–] grff@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Are you not overthinking it? A good pair of noise canceling headphones or ear plugs would solve this issue. Most people who work nights that i know have to take extra steps to block out noise and light regardless of their mental health it just comes with the territory

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You need to install double or triple paned windows and insulation. Windows are not easy to shortcut, but insulation generally is. Carpet is an outstanding sound deadener. I know other parts of the world have different construction and higher quality than American toothpick and plaster board crap houses. If you can access the spaces in the walls and ceiling, you can use old carpet instead of premade insulation. Even if you cannot access and install properly, you can line a room with carpet on all sides. You really need 2+ layers for some serious sound deadening.

I used to play in a band with a drummer that lived in a condo with neighbors all the way around him, above and below. He had a bedroom with a layer of carpet in the attic, another layer on the ceiling, and three layers of carpet on the walls and door. The space felt tiny, but he could practice as hard as he played normally and you could not hear a thing from outside the house. Inside it was no louder than people having a quiet conversation in the room next door.

I lived in Georgia at the end of a military base where they make the F22. When they do the first test flights of each plane, they took off and went vertical straight up above my house. It was so loud, you could not have any kind of conversation when it happened. Inside my house, it was nearly completely silent. The houses in the area all have triple paned glass and the wall insulation needed to make the sound irrelevant.

It is possible to hack a solution (carpet), and to quiet even the most high and low frequencies too. There are proper ways to do this that are more aesthetically pleasing. If you're having mental health issues, hack something together with carpet. People throw away tons of the stuff all the time. The vast majority of carpet that gets thrown away is nearly brand new. It was under furniture or in closets and other areas of low to no traffic. Call up local construction small businesses or just find work sites with dumpsters. You'll find some for free with a little persistence.

[–] Grogon@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thanks for advice but this house is new and it has insulation and triple glas windows with extra sound insulation

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

perhaps advertise it to deaf people? or other christians that would geek out on that shit lol....

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

OP: I am in therapy since a year because I have a huge debt

You need to install double or triple paned windows and insulation

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Read all. Full spectrum was given and was really just trying to sell the idea of carpet and that there are solutions.

Not all insulation or windows are equal either.

Tech Ingredients' testing was best IMO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjZHFIdfUFk

[–] Grogon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Already have that....

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 3 points 23 hours ago

This sounds really frustrating.

I used to live similarly close to a bell tower (it was a big, old university). I don't remember how long it took me to get used to it, but it did end up being that I barely noticed the sound. It was weird to visit a friend for a few nights in the same area after having moved away — the bells were so loud and annoying that I could barely sleep or focus on things.

My intention with this comment is to try to reassure you that it is possible to become acclimatised to the sound such that it doesn't cause significant issues. Adjusting to things like this can be extra difficult if you're already experiencing mental health stress, so you might find that you're not able to acclimatise, but there are definitely people who would be fine with buying property near a church, if it comes to that (people like me who have always lived somewhere loud)

[–] souperk@reddthat.com 9 points 1 day ago

That sounds horrible... I recommend getting a pair of loops, they will help you sleep better. Also, for when you are awake try a noise cancelling like bose qc2, just wear them with noise cancellation on if you don't want to listen to music.

This is not a perfect solution, but at least you will some quality of life improvement.

[–] thericofactor@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don't other neighbors mind the bells? Also, where are you from (what country)? There might be legal options to.pursue. Finally, the church is a hierarchy - you might want to go higher up so to speak and write or call a bishop for example.

[–] Grogon@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Germany.

No legal options... the church bells don't count as "Lärm" (Noise Pollution) here.

Tried everything. The neighbours love it and missed the bells. They are all older than 80+... Only one other neighbor has the same opinion as I do and is annoyed.

Sometimes I wish it would just burn down randomly.

[–] Lauchmelder@feddit.org 16 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I don't wanna hijack this thread to make it political, but I find it insane how sk many people are opposed to the "noise" of mosques, but then don't mind the constant ringing of bells.

I've also lived near a church in Germany for some time and it rang every 15 minutes. Granted I wasn't bothered as much as you are, but it is still really annoying and I can totally understand your point.

I think religious sites should just not make any noise like this, whether it be a church or mosque.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Tagger@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Yeah, 'randomly' ...

load more comments
view more: next ›