this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
969 points (97.9% liked)

Comic Strips

12750 readers
3695 users here now

Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.

The rules are simple:

Web of links

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] tourist@lemmy.world 83 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

why jesus cakes hanging out

Also my money on the four armed elephant dude with an axe

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 48 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Dude forgot to gird. Rookie mistake.

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 33 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Yes it looks like an iron axe, and God has a problem with Iron:
https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm

Judges 1:19

The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.

So the idea that God is almighty is pretty ridiculous, according to the Bible that is.

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I never actually read much of the thing

I just assert that the burning bush was absolutely cannabis sativa, despite any solid evidence to the contrary. I don't care that it's not native to the region or whatever.

Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.

[–] Fermion@feddit.nl 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I can't claim to have much experience in the matter, but I don't think people who just chill generally have chariots fitted with iron. Like if your neighbor happened to have a tank and a bunker, would you say they're just chilling?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 3 weeks ago

Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.

For the same reason as now - because Israel wanted their land.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

If we consider the Sistine Chapel's depiction of the realm of heaven to be divine inspiration, the clothes were added later after some complaints.

The whole concept of original sin is such that pure beings such as Adam and Eve did not even realize that they were naked until they ate the fruit of carnal knowledge.

Therefor it is canon that God likes to hang out with his wang out. Freeballin.

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 4 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Also Jesus was a bottom

Do you think he was topping 12 dudes a night? They started a religion after him because he was nice not because he was a multiple cummer

So it totally makes sense for him to be flying cakes in a fight with a Hindu god

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not sure what your religion is but I regret to inform you that you're not going to the good place.

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Based on having had to read that comment I would say we're already in the bad place

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I'm a slut for cum fill me Judas

~Jesus Christ, probably

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] lowleveldata@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

No pants for serious mode

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 39 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Sorry to all Christians but every Hindu deity wrecks Jesus 1v1. That's just facts.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago

IDK, the christians build gods like a grade schooler:

My god built the ocean.

Oh yeah well mine built the earth, and the ocean is on the earth.

Hey you can’t do that, besides I have a second god and he made the sun.

I don’t need two gods mine is as powerful as all yours put together and he made the heavens and it has the sun in it.

THAT’S CHEATING! And I have another god, he made the stars!

Oh yeah well mine made everything including all the gods and he can count to infinity!

Oh yeah even the evil gods?

…..yeah but thats not his fault.

Is too!

Is not!

Is too!

Is not!

Is too!, Is too!, Is too!

Is not time infinitely!

[–] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

For his human form, yes, but Holy Trinity-wise, I'm not so sure. Beyond 1v1, archangels tip any scales in JC's favor.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Are you also including the entire Hindu pantheon? Because I don't think the trinity has a chance in hell, archangels notwithstanding.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 3 weeks ago

But Jesus never fights alone 😏 he's a dirty ass cheater.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] xenoclast@lemmy.world 38 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

When they're both Christians, Jesus just picks his favorite. If you lose you know that you're not jesus's favorite. Sorry that's just the way it is. Loser.

[–] ThePantser@lemmy.world 37 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Also relevant, two people of the same religion praying for the same thing. The god fights themselves. Or flips a coin, free will remember.

[–] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Jim Carrey comes to mind in Bruce Almighty, when he starts to say yes to every prayer and thousands win the lottery.

[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Don’t they each win like ten cents or something?

[–] einkorn@feddit.org 12 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] BanjoShepard@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

I thought the god chose the person who had suffered more of the gods torture.

[–] sxan@midwest.social 31 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Now I want to read a book that starts with the sentance:

"The war in heaven started with a spelling bee."

[–] Hammocks4All@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] sxan@midwest.social 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Could you use that in a sentance?

[–] zaubentrucker@sopuli.xyz 5 points 3 weeks ago

They just did

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Since 2008 Ganesha only lost two times. I guess Jesus is past his prime. And the first loss wasn’t really a loss, since it was 8 first place winners with 7 kids of South Asian descent.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scripps_National_Spelling_Bee_champions

[–] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 13 points 3 weeks ago

I mean look at him! Jesus doesn't seem like he has much of a shot against that beast of a deity.

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 23 points 3 weeks ago
[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 17 points 3 weeks ago

I adore this comic for some reason

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] serenissi@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

It's not a god per se, rather the animal companion of Ganesh (Elephant god/ god of people, kinda like god Fufluns of Populonia). The mouse is like a ride of the god.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 weeks ago

I'd buy that Street Fighter DLC pack.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

This just made me think about Shin Megami Tensei. I think Messiah (the closest equivalent to Jesus) would probably win 1 on 1, but the whole Hindu pantheon would probably wear him down eventuality.

Edit for non-smt fans: SMT is Pokemon for religious and folk mythology. Lol

[–] Gingerlegs@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 weeks ago

I legit have Pro- and Anti-SKUB shirts on the way

[–] madjo@feddit.nl 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My money is on the elephant!

[–] TheBraveSirRobbin@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

I dunno, that balls kick was a hell of a headstart and could change the outcome

[–] Tyfud@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Now do it for two Christians.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Jesus beating himself. Rule 34 has got you covered

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Interesting tidbit, the National spelling bee was created by Doug Cornette. The Father of loud mouth, racket waving, heel wrestling manager Jim Cornette

Which explains why he was such a word Smith and could talk a mile a minute while insulting the crowd

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

There's no fucking way a human zombie pacifist Jew would be able to take on a 2-ton humanoid elephant god with six arms and wields weapons 1 v 1.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 5 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I would love for Marvel to make this movie.

I mean, the MCU is pretty clearly burnt out, and I wouldn't trust DC to make a movie worth watching.

[–] Indivisability9559@lemm.ee 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I am someone who hasn't seen a DC movie since Dark Knight Returns, and who has only seen the Sam Reimi Trilogy and Amazing Spider-man 1 and 2. Is the MCU really as good as people say it is? The trailers I've seen just make them seem like mindless action films.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›