this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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What qualities do you covet?

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[–] Volkditty@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I wish I were more handy or had the mindset for tinkering and doing mechincal repairs. I lack the focus and spatial awareness to look at something, diagnose the problem, and effectively repair it or jury-rig a solution around it.

[–] clark@midwest.social 3 points 1 week ago

Same. Always been a dreamer and creative person, just never practical. Although, having the spirit is the first step, right?

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[–] Mango@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

I'm great, so I wish I had more money.

[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 week ago

I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It's weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I'm charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I've managed now at every job I've held) and I'm a loving and supportive father. But deep down I'm still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.

I don't know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don't think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I'm so proud of her.

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago

Normal joints

Mine are slightly misshapen due to genetics and this causes more frequent strains and injuries. It's a ticking time bomb for me needing really expensive surgery :(

[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago
[–] insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don't want to, it doesn't feel good to me. I'd rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Do you tend to struggle with people pleasing as well or is it limited to negotiation?

[–] insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's more to do with honesty. If the seller says it's worth this much and that's what they need to charge to cover their costs, then I would like to think that's true because if it isn't, they're lying.

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Limited to negotiation.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

Athleticism and the ability to be sufficiently social.

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I really struggle to answer this even though I have this constant feeling of something being wrong. I've been quite lucky with genetics and the things I've wanted to change that can be changed I pretty much already have.

I guess there are two things I'd like to even further improve on:

  • I'd like to care less. I like myself the least when I get emotionally captured. I'd like to just be able to let it go and be teflon where nothing sticks.
  • I'd like to naturally want to read more.
[–] mearce@programming.dev 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Reading can feel like such a chore, even if you enjoy it.

I have trouble getting started. I'm not sure why I feel as though I should only read a book at a time, and that I should finish every book I start.

So I am trying to treat reading more like how I watch TV. I can start and stop, maybe skip a slow episode (chapter, page). I read more than one book at a time. I just swap between books as my interest changes.

Also, audiobooks have been a really great way for me to read more. I listen on walks, while driving, doing odd jobs, or just while playing some mindless game that keeps my eyes and hands occupied while I listen.

It's just so much more fulfilling than listening to music. I find nothing is quite comparable to the way books capture a moment. Theres just so much perspective and wisdom even in fiction books, they can make other media seem somewhat shallow in comparison sometimes.

If you get/have a library card, see if they support overdrive/libby. I periodically replace my social media apps on my homescreen with a book reading app. When muscle memory decides its time to doom scroll, I end up reading a few pages of a book on my phone instead.

About caring less, I cant claim to have figured it out, but read stoic philosophy seems to help put me on the right track. My understanding is its the basis for a lot of modern psychotherapy, and it seems to make a lot of sense to me.

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Do you listen to podcasts too or just audiobooks? In my case, I already listen to a lot of podcast, and I feel like when I'd have a chance to listen to audiobook, I'd just rather put on a podcast. Though perhaps some non-fiction, especially if read by the author.

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[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wish I was happy. Not even all of the time, just some?

Ugh, I feel this. I'm just so done.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 9 points 1 week ago

Good health. But alas.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I sometimes wish I could be social without feeling mentally and physically drained.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Same, its always seems to take a toll no matter how well it goes or how much I like the others

[–] Emi@ani.social 9 points 1 week ago

Wish I wasn't depressed and anxious so I could do what normal people seem to do normally every they meanwhile it takes me a week if I have better episode.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

I wish I was more Christlike.

No matter what you believe about Christianity, you can't deny that He is a pretty good role model.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fuckin guy had balls of titanium. Could tell off the cops to their faces and walk away.

Though it did catch up with him.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 points 1 week ago

I mean He did have the last laugh

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[–] dumbass@leminal.space 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That I was as socially confident as other people seem to be, I don't care if it's all a facade, I want to be able to use the facade.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 1 week ago

Like with most skills, one becomes confident with practice.

I'm a natural introvert and an only child and therefore has little practice of taking to others. I had no idea of how important small talk is. I learned by working in a bar, where social interaction can't really be dodged and found out that social interaction isn't that daunting as it seemed to me.

It still not my biggest hobby yet I'm not longer afraid of social interaction like I used to be.

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 13 points 1 week ago

What helps me is knowing that everyone is fucking awkward.

I've met thousands upon thousands of people and I have never met anyone who is not socially awkward, just a lot of people who are socially skilled in different ways.

The people who don't come across as awkward are the people who acknowledge their awkwardness and own it, who give themselves an opportunity to fumble with their awkwardness and to get used to it the same way you do with any other difficult thing like math or reading or studying or dance or games.

I said all of that to say, not being awkward is not a talent, it is a skill, and you can learn it.

[–] Arcynic@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wish I was worth peoples' time.

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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Albbi@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'll comment on this later.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If it was me (which it was), I'd set a reminder and then every time I got a notification, I'd push it off until later. Also, I'd hate my(past)self for making the commitment to have to deal with the notifications.

[–] Albbi@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Ugh, notifications to do something are the worst! My notification to pay my credit card comes up and I'm like, just leave me alone already! I'll do it tomorrow!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I wish I was a dog for real.

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Honestly, I'm not even a furry but it has to be exhilarating to be a big wolf or cat.

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[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wish I didn't have an addictive personality. I just wanna be a casual heroin user, is that too much to ask for? I don't want to sell my mom's TV for another hit rather have a job and pay for my own scores. Ya know responsibly

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I don't think think its necessarily an addictive personality that makes one susceptible to heroin. Heroin (especially in the format its consumed) is basically pure pleasure/heaven all at once since all the RoA are all IV/snort/smoke, anyone would end up with a problem after like a week.

Can I ask what heroin seems to be acting as a balm or buffer for?

[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wish I was more disciplined/focused.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Can you do it just for today?

[–] Corno@lemm.ee 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Be able to draw fast. I'm hilariously slow at drawing 😂

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 14 points 1 week ago

Stay out of the wild West

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