this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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top 20 comments
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[–] burgersc12@mander.xyz 57 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Why would anyone send that message to their wife? Seems like something that would either be shaved already or you just deal with the bush

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 96 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe he enjoys a shaved pussy and this was his way of telling his wife that he goin' down today

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago

I approve of this sentiment.

More men should be enthusiastic about going down on their partners.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 47 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My neighbor sent a text to his wife once that said something like "make sure to get that pussy nice and clean for me cause I've got plans for you this weekend."

Except instead of sending it to his wife, he accidentally sent it to his dry cleaner.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I have a very dear friend that for a variety of backstory reasons I'm not gonna go into is very conservative sexually, and not at all the type of person to talk about her sex life. Virgin until she married. Her husband has the same first name as me. Shortly after they were married, she texted a picture of her, topless, neck down torso pic, with the words "I can't wait until you get home, I love you so much"

This isn't exactly the scandalous text that dry cleaner got, but for her this was extreme.

Luckily, I lived super rural at that time, and routinely had issues getting calls and texts. She texted a few hours later (I'm assuming after hubby got home and she realized what she'd done) and was like "oh my God, I'm so sorry!" And I just pretended like I'd never gotten the text or pics. Saved her a lot of worry about it, I hope

[–] AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're a good friend, congrats on the boobs

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 25 points 1 month ago

Sadly, boob appeal is lost on me. But I've got some guy I'm still secretly hoping send me accidental dick pics lmao

[–] dev_null@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What's a realistic reply to "oh my God, I'm so sorry!" if you are pretending you got that out of the blue without any context?

I'd assume someone close to me died and I don't know about it.

[–] MacAttak8@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Say: Sorry for what?

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 month ago

Iirc, she specifically said she was sorry for the picture, and sent an explanation. I just pretended I never got it

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"accidentally" 😉

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 54 points 1 month ago (1 children)

At first I thought he was sending a picture of his mom's pussy.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago

You’re not far off…

[–] Asclepiaz@lemmy.world 52 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Boomer humor found its way to lemmmy

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago

this is the opposite of boomer humor. they clearly don't hate each other.

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wonder what he would have done if dad had texted shave the beaver.

[–] unreachable@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago
[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

A good one 🤣