Programmer Humor

I've been an actual janitor and a sysadmin... they're not dissimilar. You clean up other people's shit for a living.

They don't even exist anymore. They've been replaced by devops programmers.

You're probably not the biggest asshole in the room. In my experience, the person making decisions (and the most money) is never the most qualified, most competent, most efficient, or hardest working individual. They are just the biggest asshole in the room. They're willing to be loud and belligerently wrong, they're willing to take credit for the accomplishments of others, they're willing to shift blame onto someone else, they're willing to demand everyone else work harder than they do, and they're willing to demand far more than their fair share of the profit.

And they will be mollified by the rest because nobody is a bigger asshole. Most people just want to do their jobs, and don't want to rock the boat. Competent people see opportunity to ride in the wake of the biggest asshole in the room.

If you ever watch Shark Tank, you'll see they are masters of the craft.

They do the same thing building architects do. They draw pretty pictures of the end product that may of may not be structurally sound, then rely on engineers to build it and make sure it doesn't collapse.

Wait, did you find out? Can you tell us?

I always saw architects roles in modern development being the person trying to find synergies between different teams andcoordinateing them working with each other.

Like if some team makes a sick project for managing streams of data streams the architect should be promoting it for other teams to leverage.

It's not as easy as it sounds, sometimes the screens are all wrong!! https://xkcd.com/722/

What did she think before?

But when your brain is fascinated by all that has to happen for those screens and meetings to happen, it can still be an interesting job.

Or contribute to society at all really

Half the time it's trying to figure out where to apply the next piece of duct tape to keep the entire house of cards (and duct tape) from collapsing.

In times past they got shit done, and now we see that what they've done is shit and we're stuck maintaining it.

Yup. Thats just enterprise software for you. Something was made requiremnts changed, and then changed again and then ypu have duct tape on top of a duct tape with a duct tape holding those duct tapes and a touch of super glu here and there. Also ducttapes are microscopic in size but the sheer quantity of them is unimaginable.

I draw the line at CSV ingestion.

Reboots your server

Changes your credentials

No its microsofts database GUI program that's part of Microsoft Office . imagine software made for users who have a vague understanding of SQL and visual basic but then an exec. forced the designers and devs to make it accessible to everyone while giving them barely any teamembers causing a fuckton of technical debt and unintuitive quirks , making anyone who opens the software feel like they have just been placed in a highly equipped tank , in front of a wall of unlabeled levers and told to drive the tank , or at least that's how I view it.

(reposting from another account sorry if you see both comments)

No its another program, I've seen people make weird stuff with it like ticketing systems and notes apps. I've never seen it be a robust program though

I prefer my databases in Excel. /s

The biggest thing he got wrong is the assumption that it's good programmers writing libraries.