this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2023
122 points (90.1% liked)

Asklemmy

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[โ€“] utopia_dig@lemmy.ml 48 points 1 year ago (5 children)

The ability to stop pooping for three days.

[โ€“] Crabhands@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 year ago

Each day you don't poop, you lay an egg that hatches into a random monster. The egg is indestructible.

[โ€“] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 14 points 1 year ago

You have to post about it online and keep the community updated on your progress, becoming the first widespread Lemmy meme

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[โ€“] JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago (8 children)

The ability to talk to animals

[โ€“] lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 year ago

You can talk to animals now. I think what you mean is you want them to be able to talk too.

[โ€“] Johandea@lemmy.fmhy.ml 16 points 1 year ago

Your already can talk to animals. We all understand you.

[โ€“] floofloof@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 year ago

But only about collecting stamps.

[โ€“] 1st@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can talk to animals, but it includes insects and birds... and you can't shut their conversion out for some peace and quiet

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[โ€“] Adi2121@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 year ago (6 children)

The ability to touch a book to instantly know its content.

[โ€“] kakes@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 year ago

Turns out, the books you touch are actually quite satisfied and content.

[โ€“] dystop@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It only works if you touch it with your penis.

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[โ€“] wattanao@fedia.io 14 points 1 year ago

The title of the book appears somewhere on your skin, and if removed you will forget any knowledge from that book, whether you obtained it through reading or your power. The titles must be legible, and cannot overlap.

[โ€“] sayabulegila@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

but you must feel a paper cut from every single page of knowledge

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[โ€“] jgrim@discuss.online 20 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Clear anyone of debt just by thinking it.

[โ€“] jballs@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The debt alwaye gets randomly assigned to another person

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[โ€“] Orvanis@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Their debt transfers to you.

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[โ€“] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 14 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Ability to secrete custard from my hands at will.

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[โ€“] Ciari@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The ability to read, write, and speak every language

[โ€“] Ward@sopuli.xyz 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[โ€“] Weirdbeardgame@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The ability to study, understand and use fantasy level magic.

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[โ€“] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I can summon food by saying its name.

[โ€“] ComputerSagtNein@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You consume the calories of every food by just naming it.

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[โ€“] imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago (6 children)
[โ€“] kairo79@feddit.de 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

but for everyone, including yourself.

[โ€“] ChrysanthemumIndica@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But unfortunately you can't start it again.

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[โ€“] thrilly@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Invishiro@midwest.social 22 points 1 year ago

Except you feel the need to always respond to everyone else's conversations. Your timing is impeccable yet everyone comes to resent your witty remarks.

[โ€“] PlexSheep@feddit.de 10 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Teleportation by thinking of a place

[โ€“] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It will only teleport your body, not your clothes

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[โ€“] frankyboi@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can reverse any moderator actions.

[โ€“] Longpork_afficianado@lemmy.nz 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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