this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 40 points 6 months ago (2 children)

"We'll wait and see if Trump is elected and pulls out of NATO first."

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I suppose it's not too much to ask that everyone just tells Trump that they've done it. He's not like he'll check or anything.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No way, Republicans are too scared of doing anything that might anger him.

[–] jobby@lemmy.today 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

In case he poops his pants in rage?

[–] pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

shits his pants so hard he destroy's fptp

I'd vote for that.

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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 39 points 6 months ago (24 children)

It’s the year 2031. NATO troops surrounded the Cremlin after a weekend of mostly chill driving through the Russian countryside. Picking up defectors here and there.

Russia still threatens with war if they don’t stop.

Everybody laughs. Love is in the air. Good times.

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[–] Rubanski@lemm.ee 31 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I am quite curious if Japan will take back their Kuril Islands in case of war. Russia already pulled their equipment from the islands. I was surprised to find out that Japan and Russia (or better the USSR) never really signed a peace treaty after WWII. So it seems technically they are still at war

kazakstan japan war

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[–] Hotzilla@sopuli.xyz 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Russian foreign policy equals to domestic policy. They always bark outside when they have domestic issues, like people revolting against Putin. It is getting bit jarring to shift blame to NATO, and it is surprising that it works to any Russians.

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 months ago

sir/ma'am this is ncd

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why do they want to declare war on the Seattle Mariners?

[–] Jackcooper@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

As a Mariners fan it's probably because we gave up on Kelenic

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

More likely, because we betrayed Geno.

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[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 10 points 6 months ago (25 children)

Alright NCD, tell me your noncredible plan to beat Russia

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 29 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Fuck it, *releases Florida-man*

[–] DigitalTraveler42@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There's a whole lot of Russian infiltration into Floridaman circles these days

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 21 points 6 months ago (4 children)

As long as we can control the bathsalts supply, Floridaman answers to us

[–] whhavinfun@sh.itjust.works 10 points 6 months ago

The salts must flow

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[–] frezik@midwest.social 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'll copy and paste a bit I did in reply to a Russiabot for kicking Russia out of the Ukraine.

We tell Poland “Hulk? Smash.” and they rush across the border and reinforce Ukrainian positions. A US carrier group rolls up and sinks what remains of the Black Sea Fleet before the Admiral can get a second cup of coffee. Marines start landing in Sevastopol and the obligatory McDonalds is setup within 36 hours. F-22s body the Russian air force without even being seen; not because of stealth, but because Russians ain't got radar no more. The Kerch Strait Bridge isn’t just bombed, but completely taken out from end to end. What remains of Russian ground positions west of Mariupol is full of soldiers who hear rumors that NATO POW camps will give you hot food and a warm blanket, and that’s sounding like a damn good deal by the end of the week.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago (6 children)

Also cut off Belarus from any Russian support and let the people there do their thing. Bomb the railway connections between Russia and China, add a blockade between Russia and Iran.

And instead of just using McDonald's on the frontline, add some A&Ws and really win some hearts and minds.

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hearts and minds? I gotchu

*airdrops Stanley cups*

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hmmm.

Make them extra limited edition and promise the women of Russia even MORE limited runs if they bring us Putin's head.

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[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I suggest a slight modification on the Prigozhin plan.

Step 1: Hop on whatever vehicle you can find

Step 2: Casually drive to Moscow

Step 3 (Modified): Do NOT take Putin's bribe.

Step 4: Make sure you don't have to carry too much ammo back

Step 5: We did it!

[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Day one: Russian air force gets taken out by NATO air strikes.

Day two: remaining heavy weapons are mopped up by NATO air strikes.

Day three to one hundred: Russian meat waves get mowed down by NATO air strikes and artillery.

Day one hundred and one: Putin tries to launch nuclear attack, fails.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Figure out which of Ghengis Kahn's tens of millions of descendents.can reunite the Mongols

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 4 points 6 months ago

A finger curls on the paw

It's Putin

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (4 children)

China.

Hear me out: Treaty of Aigun established Vladivostok on what was Chinese land - Yongmingcheng, where the russians built a western city/port for their pacific fleet. And the russian 'east'; there's a fantastic stretch of land that's going to become quite livable due to climate change while china experiences a series of frustrations - inability to separate Taiwan from the west's interference, inability to execute the 9-dash line's ambitions to control the south china sea, and unity in the Australia-Indonesia-Philippines resistance to Chinese influence - why continue to waste resources where there's nothing but resistence?

Look north. Russia doesn't have the best army in the Donbas lol, when supplied the Ukrainians are tearing them to shreds - far more lost there than Afghanistan and Chechnya - mind boggling losses. Will the Russians really be able to stand up to a peer army?

And no one would twitch. Who's going to jump to Russia's aid?

Seems like a win.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Been saying that for months. There's enough of a Han population in Vladivostok for Xi to say it's a "special military operation," protecting native Chinese. It'd be a heck of a political coup for Xi, because he could have an easy military victory, and redirect attention from Taiwan. Also gives them a port outside of the first chain of islands that have cut them off from everything but the East China Sea

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

yes, those are excellent points!

Someone call Xi and let's make it happen.

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[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 6 months ago

We got a coalition of the willing, son!

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