Ask Lemmy

Mine is a textbook example of a self inflicted knife wound that involved separating frozen burger patties with a very sharp knife. Knife slides between the patties and into the palm of my hand. I managed to not pass out and make it to urgent care where they stitched the cut together. Still have some nerve damage. Don't do stupid things with sharp knives kids.

Not the most recent, because this happened years ago, but I once managed to run over my own hand with an office chair -- while I was sitting on it.

I was opening a box that was taped shut with a screwdriver, pulling it towards myself to rip open the tape. The rest of the tape went a lot faster than I was expecting, and since I was still pulling I wound up jabbing myself in the stomach (just bruised, I'm fine).

Definitely grabbing scissors or a knife next time and going away from myself!

10 minutes before this comment, I was washing a knife and it accidentally slipped from my hands. Obviously instincts take over first and I grabbed it. The tip of the knife placed itself perfectly on my pinky.

Thumbed myself in the eye trying to catch a ball. Saw double for a bit.

Sleeping. Woke up one day to frozen shoulder. Two years of physio and it's still not right. Fucking aging. Being 50+ sucks arse.

Had my index finger too close to the center of the pliers when trying to destroy a hard object. All of the force tore a bunch of skin off.

A few years ago, but it's stupid enough: An older lady in the gym was unable to get off from a pullup-helping machine, so i grabbed the weights (! WHY? !) and asked her to step off. It was about 40 kg. Flattened my finger.
Wept in the locker room with the bloody finger in my mouth (I was dizzy because of shock)
Drove dack home shaking from shock
Fingernail is curved a shitty way it's hard to clip it since. Edit: typo, pullup

Sledding down a hill. I thought the bottom someone had made a ramp.

Nope.

Giant frozen pothole.

Soon as we hit it I HEARD something snap in back. We flew up in the air. And landed - on ice - I landed on my ribs.

I have managed to injure my spine AND my ribs.

stood up too fast, fell face and clavicle first and now typing one armed

I pushed too quickly on my french press and an eruption of hot coffee water shot up the sleeve of my robe, which trapped it against my arm long enough to burn the skin. I am hoping for no blister, but I have a 4cm red triangle on my forearm now.

Closing a stapler after refill.

A few days ago, I tried to catch up to my 4 year old who was running down our asphalt driveway after getting off the preschool bus, running to the back-left of him, he turned into my path to see where I was, so I sort of "jumped" out of the way to avoid plowing right into him, just barely clipped him a bit but tore up my arm and knee landing on the asphalt. Stupid, because I should have assumed he might decide to change direction or something... seems obvious now.

Before that, a few months ago I was cutting a watermelon and, with my hand that was holding the melon in place, I pulled it up off the melon too haphazardly and the tip of the knife sliced deep into my ring finger. Borderline needed stitches, but didn't get them. Got by fine with butterfly bandages and wound glue, but there's yet another big scar on my hands. At least I still have all my fingers. I was given a Christmas gift of a cut glove after that.

A few days ago I cut my finger open on an extremely sharp bread knife. I knew the knife was sharp but I wanted to see how sharp, so I put my finger on it. It turns out that it was sharp enough to cut my finger.

I'm 35.

At least I know the stove is hot

Stabbed myself in the thumb when trying to remove those indistructable zip ties from a new knife we purchased.

I stepped down my singular step porch and tore a ligament in my ankle the day I moved into this house.

Two years later (a week ago) I broke my toe in the same place.

Every so often I roll my ankles taking a bad step it hurts like hell for days!

To make matters worse I have unusually dense bones so nothing ever breaks.

Not recent, but sneezing and holding it in. Threw my back so bad I couldn't walk for weeks. Ever since then, I'll let it rip -- into my elbow or a napkin.

A few months ago, saw a medical scan of someone with a big tear in their throat. The story claimed it was due to a held sneeze. Nowadays, you shouldn't believe anything on the internet, but after my own experience, I could see how it might happen.

Not a serious injury just poor technique. Was sharpening like 10 knives on a stone and didn't realize I was grinding some of my guide finger also.

Paper cut on a friggin fry cup at work.

Not a serious one, but it hurt like a bitch.

Coworker was cleaning the donut case for the day, and left the dishes beside the sink. I decided to be nice and get them soaking, so I grab all the wire racks.

One slipped, and while I was trying to catch it, I somehow pinched my thumb right behind the nail between two others. I had to take a moment in the back office after that.

Lay on my back. When I stood up my back was seized.

Not really any injury, and rather more awkward than painful.

There was a smaller branch hanging from a tree, mostly broken off. I managed to break it off completely, but as it fell and I was holding it, it bent back my left pinkie and ring finger a bit too much, enough to make them painful for 2 days. The awkward bit is that it also bonked me on my empty head.

Better than the other one though. There's one larger branch that's completely broken off, but it's still hanging on the other ones. I tried to pull it off, but I am too weak. It got even lower now so perhaps I should try again. I mean, it's fairly horizontal, so it doesn't leave me standing under the heavy part while pulling it.

Got married.

pizza.

ya, you know what happened. it's still peeling off on the inside of my mouth.

I reached for something. mid-40s...

Not recent. I was cooking a frozen pizza and when I took it out of the oven, the pot holder I was using slipped and I ended up with my bare fingers on the pan. It was only a minor burn since I dropped the pizza and pan on the floor almost immediately. It had been a really stressful week and I was at my breaking point. I left the pizza and pan on the floor and just went to my bedroom. Fuck that day.

Edit: Invest in decent pot holders and oven mitts. You are worth it.

Poured EXTREMELY hot oil on my scalp and burnt my scalp. Skin came peeling off, lost more hair' -already got male pattern baldness. Took a few weeks to heal.

Today I read the news.

...mentally and emotionally hurting counts too, right?

Tried to do a little drop/jump while snowboarding. I hadn't been on a snowboard in a decade. Landed awkwardly and hyper extended my right wrist. Though I broke it. Seems to be fine but it still hurts like hell four days later.

Cut the pad off my index finger chopping slippery tomatoes with 2 days no sleep, during busy hour at work. It looks normal now but no sensation :(