this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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[–] StrongHorseWeakNeigh@lemmy.world 104 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Today at my retail job, a customer decided to stand on the paint desk. Just cause he was mad.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 63 points 10 months ago (4 children)

How bad is life going for someone when they get mad enough at paint to stand on a retail sales counter?

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 44 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

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[–] noride@lemm.ee 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Probably not as bad as you're thinking, he's actually been waiting for this moment for years.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)
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[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm not quite following you. Are you suggesting this is pent up righteous indignation? Or like they feel it is an injustice so egregious they now get to "make a stand" or something?

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think the suggestion is that he's always wanted to stand on the desk, and was just angry enough to feel justified in doing so.

[–] norbert@kbin.social 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm imagining a grown man indignantly yelling about his Warner Houses Velvet Peacock actually being Royal Garter but secretly having the time of his life standing on the counter. So happy he can see soooo far, almost to the other side of the store! "It's like I'm a giant, rarrrr!" he thinks.

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's the side we all have, which society wants us to hide.

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 10 months ago

I don’t have this side. If I want to see the whole store I’ll use one of those employee-only ladders.

[–] StrongHorseWeakNeigh@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes I appreciate people like that to an extent. It's a reminder to myself that I'm not a shitty person.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I think I found the poster Mr. PaintStander has on his wall.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Not very. Or incredibly.

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 36 points 10 months ago (4 children)

is "Today at my retail job" a community, because it should be

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

is “Today at my retail job” a community, because it should be

Customer facing retail workers are a unrecognized heroes of our society. They face the worst of us and have to keep their sanity in check usually for the lowest wages an employer can get away with. Some countries have compulsory military service. I would support legislation making compulsory customer service in a public facing role a requirement.

Though it has been decades since I worked customer facing retail, the cruel lessons I learned about how people treat others they have power over are absolutely foundational to my own interactions with customer facing workers. I work to inject patience, understanding, and respect when I can to those in customer facing roles. If I hadn't worked retail, I can't dismiss horrifying the possibility I might be standing on a paint counter today myself secure in my incorrect convictions and ignorant of my hubris.

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[–] StrongHorseWeakNeigh@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] CommunityLinkFixer@lemmings.world 6 points 10 months ago

Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn't work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !retailhell@lemmy.world

[–] VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Surprised that the tales from subs from reddit haven't been copied over.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

There used to be a phenomenon on imgur (for people who spent all their free time there and didn't know what reddit was) called "work stories." We had a lot of fun sharing those.

[–] muse@kbin.social 9 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Was it Lowe's? Sounds like a Lowe's customer.

Paint department is hell.

[–] StrongHorseWeakNeigh@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Menards actually. Still a home improvement store though.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

How khaki were his cargo shorts?

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] AnonWyo@startrek.website 3 points 10 months ago

Save big money at My Nards!

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[–] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 89 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Remember, if you see someone drinking laundry detergent, no you didn't.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

But... Why would anybody lie about things on the internet?

[–] Cornucopiaofplenty@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I think it was more a joke on 'if you see someone shoplifting, no you didn't'

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I wonder what it tastes like. I guess there's only one way to find out. BRB I'm goin' to Walmart...

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[–] chalupapocalypse@lemmy.world 77 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Probably got tired of having to chew the pods.

[–] Duranie@literature.cafe 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You chew them? I thought you had to suck on them. 🤔

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago (2 children)
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[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@lemmy.ml 54 points 10 months ago (2 children)

my sister said she craved bleach for her second pregnancy.

she abstained of course but the craving was there

[–] saruwatarikooji@lemmy.world 58 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Pregnant woman are supposed to report cravings like that to their doctor... Apparently it can be a symptom of a serious problem.

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[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] DestroyerOfWorlds@sh.itjust.works 48 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I saw a neighbor fill his lawnmower with gas, take the can and take a huge swig. He capped it and started his lawnmower like nothing. so many questions.

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 13 points 10 months ago

Yeah you'd definitely have to be shit faced to take a swig of gasoline

[–] spizzat2@lemm.ee 46 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I had a friend in high school. We were at a gas station, and he went in to get some additive to put in his tank. On the way back to his car he unscrewed the cap, and took a big swig. The bottle still had the foil cap, so he wasn't actually drinking anything; he just did it for the reaction. The thing was, he didn't actually check if anyone was watching.

Sometimes people are just weird...

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Well you obviously saw him do it, so he must've known in his peripheral vision that you were watching. That's all the thrill he needed.

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[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Sounds more like being fucked with for lulz. Like walking around drinking blue Gatorade out of a windex bottle.

[–] Jknaraa@lemmy.ml 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Using old vodka bottles for water.

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[–] Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Yeah this sounds like a prank. You could easily wash out an old detergent bottle and fill it with water or something

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

So, she died from that, right?

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[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

Which island?

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

"I took a chug of detergent at Walmart and this happened" video dropping soon

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 3 points 10 months ago

An adherent of the Church of Drink Bleach

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