this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
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I have had a tendency since my earliest days on social media where I will get halfway or more through a response, and end up just cancelling it. Sometimes I feel like I’m just being to over the top with snark or otherwise don’t want to be that kind of person, but a lot of the time I’ll decide I just really don’t care enough to finish it. Sometimes I just know it’ll be an argument and I know what the person is going to say, and just have no interest in continuing the discussion. I did it on Reddit, I did it on bulletin boards, I even did it in my teens and twenties on Usenet - and I’ll probably go on doing it for as long as I continue using this medium. I probably do it a bit more than half the time. I know that lemmy benefits from more content and I have had some great discussions, but sometimes it’s just not worth it for me.

How about you? Do you hit publish or cancel more often?

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[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 54 points 11 months ago

The irony is that there might have been a fair amount of replies to this, but people bailed on them. I guess we'll never know.

[–] skooks@lemmy.world 44 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Deceptichum@kbin.social 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Interstellar_1@pawb.social 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)
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[–] shadowSprite@lemmy.world 35 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I cancel more often. Because who cares what I have to say? And sometimes I realize it's been more therapeutic to just type a comment out than it is to hit post and deal with people's potential responses.

[–] sparky678348@lemm.ee 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I care what you say ❤️

You, yes you reading this, have a valid perspective and a unique insight and the world is enriched by you sharing your thoughts with other strangers.

[–] moth@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

I needed to hear this, thank you 🥹 You have a good heart Sparky

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[–] droning_in_my_ears@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

Congratulations on finishing this post!

[–] Quazatron@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Here I am writing my opinion, only to realise that many of you have already posted most of the valid points I was going to make. So now my comment is pretty much worthless and adds nothing to the discussion.

I cancel most of the time, but today I'll open an exception to prove my point.

Have you somehow become more enlightened by my post? Yeah, should have cancelled it.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 5 points 11 months ago

I think that this answer really is great. It's truly provided me with...

[–] Eonandahalf@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

When you think about it, you sort of proving the point that…

This took to long to formulate, so I gave up. But at least I posted it 🙃.

[–] notannpc@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It’s a good 70% of the time that I’ll cancel instead of post. As I’ve gotten older my desire to be right has greatly diminished when it comes to random people on the internet.

[–] haysupdood@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 months ago

This is how I feel, but it's closer to 95% of the time for me. I've been on the Internet since its inception and I don't have it in me to deal with people's bullshit anymore.

I don't need to be heard. I don't need to be right. I only post for help I can't get elsewhere or to help others. On the rare occasion I deviate from that rule, I usually get a reply that makes me regret engaging.

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[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You'll be getting less answers from people who cancel more often. 😉

I think I cancel my posts about 1 to 5 percent of the time. Usually when it gets longer and I notice that my brain is too stupid to continue. Sometimes also when I catch myself being a little bit too sarcastic.

[–] SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml 7 points 11 months ago

As a data scientist, this is my favorite answer.

[–] dsemy@lemm.ee 11 points 11 months ago

Like 95%. Almost cancelled this one before I erased most of it.

[–] kaffiene@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

Absolutely. Sometimes you know your post isn't going to do anything worthwhile. Sometimes you're just being a dick. Sometimes the other person is clearly not going to listen to you. Sometimes your post adds nothing of value. That kind of self reflection is a good thing IMO. I wish more people did it

[–] tierelantijntje@feddit.nl 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

There's a high barrier for me to even start typing a comment, but I try to contribute more on lemmy. Haven't really participated on social media in years. I guess about 20% of the time when I think I should comment I actually do it.

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[–] Smokeydope@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

40% I'd estimate, I tend to write very long and in depth comments and will realize either I dont care enough about the subject to finish my statement or argument point, or I'm likely being baited by someone who doesnt care about having a genuine exchange of ideas and just wants to be "right".

[–] lseif@sopuli.xyz 9 points 11 months ago

im so glad you asked this question. i cant tell you how many times i-

actually never mind

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

My comments tend to be short enough that I've already written them and by that point I might as well submit.

[–] numberfour002@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Quite often.

I start organizing my thoughts by writing them down. Then I'll realize it's going to be impossible for me to succinctly yet accurately convey my point.

If what I've written is too long or too convoluted, I don't bother posting it, as the intended audience is usually the least likely to actually read it. If what I've written has too many caveats or too many points of contention, I don't bother posting it because I generally don't have much interest in connecting with pedants or those being intentionally obtuse/ignorant/etc.

Honestly, my experience has been that this place is mostly just a slightly different iteration of the same shit as the alternative it is modeled after when it comes to discourse. And I have minimal interest engaging in much of that. So, definitely more likely to lurk and/or to bail on a response than to actually post here.

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[–] qooqie@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Eh not that much. Who cares about points? I’ll edit my response if I mistyped or made it difficult to understand, but why not contribute to the convo? Again points matter way less here than on Reddit and even on Reddit it didn’t matter a whole bunch

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sure, points are pointless. I still get a dopamine hit when the number goes up or I get nice comments.

And I just wanted to bail on this comment, because I'm not sure if I grasp everything. But considering the topic I will leave it.

[–] qooqie@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

You right, they’re pointless but the monkey brain loves seeing them be in the positive

[–] lvxferre@lemmy.ml 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I do it fairly often. Usually when:

  • It's pointless to submit the content, for the others and for myself.
  • There's a high chance that someone will misread it and whine.
  • It would help someone whom I don't want to.

In Lemmy it's usually the first thing.

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[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 11 months ago

depends. on political posts it's like 90% bail rate, because i get done typing a message and then realize i'm just feeding into the outrage machine.

but on meme posts? maybe 10% bail rate, because lol

[–] Paorzz@lemmy.zip 7 points 11 months ago

About four words in

[–] nomecks@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Far less than on the other site. I've been trying to commit in order to grow the Fediverse, even if I've got a few garbage hot takes. I will say, my shit comments seem to get way more responses than my good ones.

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[–] dgmib@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

I literally bailed while writing a comment on another post just to scroll down to this post next.

So yea… all the time.

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Funny enough, I almost replied to a comment here and then deleted it.

I've been trying to do it less since migrating to Lemmy because I recognize that the smaller userbase means that my interaction is more valuable, even if it's scary.

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[–] Steveanonymous@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

A lot. Sometimes I have something to say but so afraid of ridicule I back out

[–] ricdeh@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

For me personally it's when discussing controversial topics, I know I'm right but I'm too lazy to get into an argument to elaborate on my points in detail.

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[–] Lophostemon@aussie.zone 6 points 11 months ago

Yeah that’s something I’d never do because it just seems

[–] PRUSSIA_x86@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] XbSuper@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Constantly cancel. It's rarely worth arguing with people here.

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[–] roguetrick@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I have a personality with a low neuroticism and a low conscientiousness, so I usually post.

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[–] derekabutton@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

50% of my messages here on Lemmy.

I'd guess more like 25% of messages at work and 75% on the discord server I use with IRL friends are deleted without being posted.

[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Fairly often. I’ll get a sentence out and then

[–] yum_burnt_toast@reddthat.com 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

i tend to be long-winded and i dont often have a good sense for what information is explicitly necessary, so i have started a fair few comments that ive lost steam on and convinced myself werent worth posting. i also have not participated in social media for about ten years, so i dont have the sense that i can just casually post something without it being particularly valid, but when i do post its after reassuring myself that what i say doesnt always have to be life-altering.

so yea, probably 40% of the time i bail if i start thinking about it more than i should, which is easy to do when i have to proofread so much due to florisboard not having autocorrect.

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[–] IvanOverdrive@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

Sometimes I realize I'm not contributing anything new to the conversation. I just upvote the post that said what I wanted to say and be done with it. Yeah, I could get some upvotes, but what's the point? It's not like I can buy things with imaginary points.

[–] jacktherippah@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I wrote out a comment to answer you but halfway through I decided that my opinion wasn't worthy of sharing on Lemmy so I deleted it and wrote this instead.

[–] caesar_salad83@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

here's me, posting 1 in every 10 commect I start writing.

[–] Buizel@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Virtually every single response I type out gets canceled without posting. It's extremely rare that I actually feel good enough about a comment I'm making to actually post it. Even if I do make a comment I'll often come right back and delete it, or make a hundred rapid fire edits to it before usually deleting it anyway. That's how after 6 months here I've only made 5 total comments.

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[–] DarienGS@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

I do this all the time. I see so many brainless, low-effort posts all over the internet that I don't want to add to the pollution with anything I'm not confident is either informative or funny.

But I also want Lemmy to grow and thrive, so here I've been making more of an effort to try to finish and post even comments I'm not so certain about. I figure that has to be better for the site than contributing nothing at all.

[–] nl4real@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

A great deal. I also don't like to get in internet arguments a lot for the same a reasons.

[–] LilB0kChoy@midwest.social 4 points 11 months ago

Probably 50/50. Mostly because I don’t care enough to get in an argument or have to defend what I say.

Simple throwaway comments, observations, generic opinion stuff I’ll just drop it and move on.

Anything I’m really knowledgeable in though, I’ll start and then cancel because there’s always someone who wants to challenge and argue and it’s just exhausting.

[–] Tolstoy@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Aborting short ones like this, maybe every third. Longer ones 9/10

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