this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by nave@lemmy.zip to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
 
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[–] FoundTheVegan@kbin.social 210 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Fake for any of those wondering.

But keeping employees based on how many lines of code they have written, which he did, is essentially the same logic.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 21 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Ernest Hemingway was paid by the word, which shows in his work. I imagine this pay structure would have a similar effect on how people code.

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[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I would do so poorly there, in many ways …. I love those days when my lines of code is negative

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[–] Alchemy@lemmy.world 180 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Employee that was mining crypto on the side is hella stoked at this news.

[–] Really_long_toes@lemmy.world 49 points 11 months ago

Meanwhile his mate sitting across from him was gpu mining

[–] jecht360@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Probably mining dogecoin or something else Musk would like.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 136 points 11 months ago (2 children)

So, the bonus goes to the guy who was playing Factorio when he should have been working?

[–] Land_Strider@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Isn't Factorio very optimized, not in the sense that it uses all system resources completely, but in the sense that it has very efficient code enabling millions of operations and increasing without needing much more system resources to scale it?

I would definitely go with Arma in this case. Although it has very heavy calculations for a lot of things to start with, it can't scale well and cause CPU bottleneck very soon.

[–] dfc09@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Factorio definitely taxes CPU usage heavily if you're building a mega base. Don't get me wrong, it's gotta be a big ass base, but you could just import somebody's monstrosity and run it in the background.

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[–] kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It is pretty well optimized. I think it might not be, like, genius-level amazing, but the devs care about performance and worked to improve it.

In the end though, it's a game where the entire map (as generated so far) is simulated - I think there's cases where chunks go to sleep, but it's not Minecraft's "stop simulating anything not next to a player". When combined with players building lots of machines moving many, many items around, you'll inevitably end up with some serious CPU usage. Not a problem on a decent computer, but I have had friends struggle on weak laptops, even getting dropped as they literally couldn't keep up with the server.

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[–] horndogAI@sh.itjust.works 130 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I’m glad to hear this is fake but it seemed 100% believable to me

[–] homesnatch@lemm.ee 96 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The part where it said "Christmas Bonus" should have been the tip off...

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[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 12 points 11 months ago

That's the joke.

Elon is so random and unpredictable that you can make up just about anything about him and nobody will really know if it's satire or not....

[–] ndsvw@feddit.de 91 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Time to install android studio. That piece of software sucks out every CPU in a 3 meter radius.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I haven't even had to turn my heater on during work hours this year thanks to Android Studio.

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[–] Conyak@lemmy.tf 90 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I assume this is fake since no one at X is getting a Christmas bonus.

[–] lseif@sopuli.xyz 11 points 11 months ago

it was edited from "salary" to "christmas bonus"

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[–] amzd@kbin.social 69 points 11 months ago

I love receiving a bonus for mining Bitcoin on company hardware

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 60 points 11 months ago (1 children)

cat /dev/urandom | grep "dickhead"

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[–] Tischkante@discuss.tchncs.de 52 points 11 months ago (3 children)
  1. Write batch file listing the contents of c: recursively and changing to c:\windows doing it again, then loop.

  2. ???

  3. Employee of the century, free brothel on mars.

[–] Krafting@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Just exec a fork bomb

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[–] norgur@discuss.tchncs.de 48 points 11 months ago

So those who misuse company assets to enrich themselves b mining crypto get rewarded by larger bonuses? Sounds like the way the world works for those super rich fellas like Elon "Edgelord" Musk.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 37 points 11 months ago

Monero, here we come!

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 37 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 43 points 11 months ago

I can't even tell anymore

His entire life is a shitpost incarnate, and not a very good one

[–] skankhunt42@lemmy.ca 13 points 11 months ago

I have no idea but I had the same question. I also love the fact that We'd believe that he'd do something like this.

Please tell me it's real.

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[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I so hope this is fake, because this is so stupid, even by Space Karen standards.

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 35 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Wasn't he firing people based on number of, or lack of, code commits at one point? Even if this isn't real, it's still very on-brand.

[–] MentallyExhausted@reddthat.com 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

That’s what this is satirizing, yeah

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[–] odium@programming.dev 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Lines of code too iirc. This is about equally accurate.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My most productive days have ended with negative LOC. It's such a trash metric that only someone that's never been a developer could dream up.

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[–] KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 33 points 11 months ago (3 children)
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[–] NaoPb@eviltoast.org 26 points 11 months ago

Allright, everyone install Prime95 for best bonus.

[–] thoughtorgan@lemmy.world 26 points 11 months ago

I'd have the biggest bonus at my company.

Old school RuneScape 😎

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 11 months ago

Time to play modded minecraft during company time

[–] meathorse@lemm.ee 23 points 11 months ago

Prime95 for maximum bonus!

[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 22 points 11 months ago

Sweet all that time playing TF2 will finally pay off!

[–] Ascend910@lemmy.ml 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Mining a away~

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 18 points 11 months ago

So the Janitor gets nothing and the guy slacking off playing Deathloop gets a fortune.

[–] AlexJD@feddit.uk 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh god he'd actually do this and employees would have to try to get the weakest CPU possible so percentage utilisation would be higher.

[–] Vilian@lemmy.ca 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)

just run a stress cpu program 24/7

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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] havokdj@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Better yet, mine monero on as many machines as possible for extra profit

[–] minamoog@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

gentoo users stay winning

[–] Smk@lemmy.ca 12 points 11 months ago

He should base it off RAM too. I mean, when you work, you must have millions of tabs open.

[–] catlover@sh.itjust.works 11 points 11 months ago

while true; do npm ci; done

[–] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 10 points 11 months ago

Just turn on a cryptocurrency cpu miner.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

My dad who clicks every pop up he sees is slated to make some serious bank.

[–] kugiyasan@lemmy.one 10 points 11 months ago

Cool, I will be able to solve those advent of code challenges without optimising my code!

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