this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 44 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I'd nearly forgotten about this scene from Look Who's Talking Now. Thanks

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What the fresh hell is this

[–] BossDj@lemm.ee 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Look who's talking tells some bad romance story, but with a twist that it's through the eyes of a baby with an adult inner monologue played by Bruce Willis. He mostly tries to figure out the stupid behaviors of adults.

This demon is from the sequel and how the now-toddlee views the toilet. Potty training is a sub plot of the movie.

[–] UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca 5 points 11 months ago

You went above in beyond in answering that question! Kudos!

[–] xusontha@ls.buckodr.ink 9 points 11 months ago
[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

I loved and hated it since the first time I saw it

[–] match@pawb.social 28 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Not pooping for 3 days?? Try not pooping for 30

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago
[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

Nah I'm good

[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Toxic Megacolon

[–] MisterFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Better stock up on beans

[–] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

I simply have a catheter installed so I can complete the challenge with ease. I’m so smart.

[–] OtakuAltair@lemm.ee 20 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Remember the no-shit guy from back when we came to Lemmy? I wonder how they're doing

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 8 points 11 months ago

Turns out they were full of shit in a different way

[–] sndrtj@feddit.nl 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] OtakuAltair@lemm.ee 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] sndrtj@feddit.nl 3 points 11 months ago

Oh wow lol.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

no more shitposting until next year 😥

[–] swiftcasty@kbin.social 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Would you rather have your toilet crave your excrement, or despise you for it?

[–] CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works 18 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Definitely crave it. The idea of my toilet begging me not to every time I have to take a dump… or worse yet, quietly crying throughout the process… I’d just rather not tbh

[–] Sway_Chameleon@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I want to hug that toilet, and I'm not even drunk

[–] Sway_Chameleon@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

That toilet is gonna snap one day, get tired of all the shit, and lay porcelain hands on the user.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 9 points 11 months ago

God damn it I'm going to bed

[–] registrert@lemmy.sambands.net 5 points 11 months ago

You'd end up shitting your pants, and then you'd have to deal with your clothes complaining about the smell all day.

[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Or if you have gut rot it just goes "Ohhh...gaaaah! Noooo!!!"

[–] Da_Boom@iusearchlinux.fyi 1 points 11 months ago

Yeah it's pleased or horrified depending on the quality of your shit "you really need more fiber man, that consistency is terrible, gross"

"Damn now that's a pristine shit, delicous, keep looking after yourself"

"Urgh, why do I taste blood in your stool, go see a doctor ASAP"

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Crave it, but in a friendly crackhead sort of way.

[–] Orbituary@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

I'll buy you a hamburger if you let me eat your shit.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's been Non-stop Nuttin' November for me, I'm so glad to finally get a rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak and spongy.

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Now it's don't-stop dumpin' December

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Moooom the toilet monster's back and you promised that wouldn't happen again

[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Its 0:50 here and Im literally sitting on the toilet...

[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 11 months ago

better get up off dat

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Send me all ur cheese I'm doing this shit (actually I'm not doing shit)

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I gotcha fam. I got a block of cheddar cheese spiked with fentanyl with your name on it.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

I'll DM you my address

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Brace yourselves, Jerk-off January is coming.

[–] Da_Boom@iusearchlinux.fyi 1 points 11 months ago

Looks like I started early.

[–] Public_Tumbleweed@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago
[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

I hope it is fiber February then

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

I will gladly lose this battle.

[–] jbk@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 11 months ago

Fuck I failed already

[–] hactar42@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

I've failed 6 times today

[–] MeatsOfRage@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago
[–] Zellith@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

He wants our doo doo and our pee pee!

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

All he's getting is my knuckle babies

[–] Smokeydope@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Whoever came up with don't dump December is trying to get people to win the darwin award: impaction edition. Sounds like a psyops cooked up over at 4chan

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

What's funny is I thought I came up with it then Googled it and, of course someone else had already done it.